Do Not Get Sick In India … from Reens
Every doctor affiliated to a hospital in India must perform a certain number of surgeries and physicians must refer a certain number of patients for laboratory tests, x-rays and MRI s, endoscopics and ultrasound etc..
If not they are removed from the hospital registries and premises…
Treatment is given not according to the disease but according to the wealth of the patient…
Most of these observations are either completely or partially true. Corruption has many names, and one of civil society isn’t innocent either. Professionals and businessmen of various sorts indulge in unscrupulous practices. I recently had a chat with some doctors, surgeons and owners of nursing homes about the tricks of their trade. Here is what they said
1) 40-60% kickbacks for lab tests.
When a doctor (whether family doctor / general physician, consultant or surgeon) prescribes tests – pathology, radiology, X-rays, MRIs etc. – the laboratory conducting those tests gives commissions. In South and Central Mumbai — 40%. In the suburbs north of Bandra — a whopping 60 per cent! He probably earns a lot more in this way than the consulting fees that you pay.
2) 30-40% for referring to consultants, specialists & surgeons. When your friendly GP refers you
to a specialist or surgeon, he gets 30-40%.
3) 30-40% of total hospital charges. If the GP or consultant recommends hospitalization, he will
receive kickback from the private nursing home as a percentage of all charges including ICU, bed, nursing care, surgery.
4) Sink tests. Some tests prescribed by doctors are not needed. They are there to inflate bills
and commissions. The pathology lab understands what is unnecessary. These are called “sink tests”; blood, urine, stool samples collected will be thrown.
5) Admitting the patient to “keep him under observation”. People go to cardiologists feeling unwell and anxious. Most of them aren’t really having a heart attack, and cardiologists and family doctors are well aware of this. They admit such safe patients, put them on a saline drip with mild sedation, and send them home after 3-4 days after charging them a fat amount for ICU, bed charges, visiting doctors fees.
6) ICU minus intensive care.
Nursing homes all over the suburbs are run by doctor couples or as one-man-shows. In such places, nurses and ward boys are 10th class drop-outs in ill-fitting uniforms and bare feet. These “nurses” sit at the reception counter, give injections and saline drips, perform ECGs, apply dressings and change bandages, and assist in the operation theater. At night, they even sit outside the Intensive Care Units; there is no resident doctor. In case of a crisis, the doctor — who usually lives in the same building — will turn up after 20 minutes, after this nurse calls him. Such ICUs admit safe patients to fill up beds. Genuine patients who require emergency care are sent elsewhere to hospitals having a Resident Medical Officer (RMO) round-the-clock.
7) Unnecessary caesarian surgeries and hysterectomies. Many surgical procedures are done to keep the cash register ringing. Caesarian deliveries and hysterectomy (removal of uterus) are high on the list. While the woman with labour -pains is screaming and panicking, the obstetrician who gently suggests that caesarian is best seems like an angel sent by God! Menopausal women experience bodily changes that make them nervous and gullible. They can be frightened by words like”cysts” and “fibroid s” that are in almost every normal woman’s radiology reports. When a gynecologist gently suggests womb removal “as a precaution”, most women and their husbands agree without a second’s
thought.
8) Cosmetic surgery advertized through newspapers. Liposuction and plastic surgery are not minor procedures. Some are life-threateningly major. But advertisements make them appear as easy as facials and waxing. The Indian medical council has strict rules against such misrepresentation. But nobody is interested in taking action.
9) Indirect kickbacks from doctors to prestigious hospitals. To be on the panel of a prestigious hospital, there is give-and-take involved. The hospital expects the doctor to refer many patients for hospital admission. If he fails to send a certain number of patients, he is quietly dumped. And so he likes to admit patients even when there is no need.
10) “Emergency surgery” on dead body.
If a surgeon hurriedly wheels your patient from the Intensive Care Unit to the operation theater, refuses to let you go inside and see him, and wants your signature on the consent form for “an emergency
operation to save his life”, it is likely that your patient is already dead. The “emergency operation” is for inflating the bill; if you agree for it, the surgeon will come out 15 minutes later and report that your patient died on the operation table. And then, when you take delivery of the dead body, you will pay OT charges, anesthesiologist’s charges, blah-blah-
Doctors are humans too. You can’t trust them blindly. Please understand the difference.
Young surgeons and old ones.
The young ones who are setting up nursing home etc. have heavy loans to settle. To pay back the loan, they have to perform as many operations as possible. Also, to build a reputation, they have to perform a large number of operations and develop their skills. So, at first, every case seems fit for cutting. But with age, experience and prosperity, many surgeons lose their taste for cutting, and stop recommending operations.
Physicians and surgeons. To a man with a hammer, every problem looks like a nail. Surgeons like to
solve medical problems by cutting, just as physicians first seek solutions with drugs. So, if you take your medical problem to a surgeon first, the chances are that you will unnecessarily end up on the operation table. Instead, please go to an ordinary GP first.
Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place. Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! They don’t even serve food anymore, so what’s the loss? The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a “party atmosphere” going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women. Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn’t need a salary, thus saving even more money. Fanatical Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt and the airline industry would see record revenues. This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right — a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset. Why didn’t Bush or Obama think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself? Sincerely, Bill Clinton
Sardar writing his medical entrance exam, gives definitions as follows :-
Three men were hiking through a forest… when they came upon a large raging, violent river.
An Arab had spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It got so bad that even his camel died of thirst.
Ghost tatti (s h i t ) : The kind where you feel the tatti come out, but there is no tatti in the toilet.