Category Archives: Personal Reflection

Sample That!

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Sample That!
Get a taste of everything… your sub-conscience does not recognize good and bad/right or wrong. But as humans we see a killing as bad and in a way we need that just like we need to feel pain/fear to warn us of danger. We just need a bit of it, we don’t have to be full of fear or pain right. Ok it’s not coming out how I imagined. Another angle… take animals for instance… do they know good and bad? They just know if they hear a certain noise or see a certain figure… RUN. Certain smells make them eat that smelly thing. Ok this bit’s not making sense to me ethier… I have a point so I’ll come to this good and bad thing later. Back to sampling things… see we’ve been given this gift… speaking of animals… animals are not going to say I’m bored of critters and want to eat something sweet instead, cold and frozen and on a stick. Wildebeest can’t say screw migration, we’re gonna form teams, get some tumbleweed and kick it around for 90 minutes.

We get to! So I suggest you ask yourself, what are those few things I’ve always wanted to know about and what do I need to do to check it off my list. Be it cheap thrills or big time objectives. Don’t let age, race, gender, location and especially work come in the way. Folks tie themselves down to too much and end up boxed in. I’ve seen folks who love mixing and being active turned into someone bitter stuck in a room mostly. It’s mostly in the head and that where you start. If you can’t do the stuff you want to do… picture it… more and more. But that’s sampling stuff you want to sample… there’s also sampling stuff that come by you all the time. It’s not your interest but you check it out… in my case it’s sports and cars… couldn’t care less but my boys are into it so I’ll join em for rallies or watch/play footie… at least on the play station lol. Some of my peeps don’t believe in AOL and my kinda stuff but they’re open enough to sample it.

One thing I’d like to see more of is folks hanging out with a diversity of ages. Genders and races is already happening but ages… you go in with an open mind, don’t judge remember at one point we were there or you will be there so knowing what’s coming up and remembering what it was like is such an important awareness. I was chilling with some kids at a festival and at one point they were like lets go mug and beat people… but they didn’t they were just cracking jokes about it… the folks that heard it looked at me like they’re no good and I’m guilty by association. The kids were just ‘shooting the shit’, as we grow up we forget how fun and liberating it is to be stupid… it gets you out of that robot thinking. The same kids teen sister asked why I’m chilling with kids and I told her I chill with everyone… so she’s like come to the teen tent.

Next night I chilled at the teen tent where they’re even more stupid… I loved how thick I was at that age but I didn’t join them coz I’ve been there and…? Thats right, done it! You get to see these guys finding themselves… what their beliefs are… how much they’re going to conform to what their peers approve of and what not. The leader who was so deep… we ended up talking all this philosophy and shlack… till at one point he engaged a group of adults and he’s doing most of the talking. My recent experience was a 17 year old helped me over a hurdle I’d been struggling with for over 5 years! The same for adults but because the ‘been there done that’ approach to elders is to respect them and listen to them and all that… I’ve gone the opposite way and I’ll get to that in another topic.

Again my spiritual guru says we don’t think twice when we’re sampling music and food from the world but we tighten up when it comes to religions and beliefs. It’s all pretty much the same anyway so what’s this tightness about? Sample it. And for your sake, as you get older try not to place/generalize/label yourself. Even if you do… know that you’re versatile. For some reason age seems to tighten folks. Even these ‘classy’ folks… I’m too classy to do, say and think that way. Your loss. Think about it… if Thomas Edison didn’t sample so many filaments we’d not have a the light bulb. So many people of history and achievement who risked being called freaks because they did not follow convention… SCRATCH CONVENTION! It has it’s place but when it limits you… squash it. Some procedures don’t even make sense. These labels are the reason why we have all this friction everywhere… folks are so stuck to their labels they not only box themselves but also look down upon those out of the box.

I get it… there’s security in knowing who you are and what your role is. There is risk of being given the wrong label if you do something different in front of the wrong person. Beware that way… in my case I don’t really give a damn… e.g. just bleaching my hair and experimenting with clothes earned me labels like junkie and gay… but help me get into modeling and filming too where the world is sooooo diverse… you can’t help but sample that. It’s shoved in your face! And all it did is stretch my understanding and tolerance towards folks from all walks of life. I also get that you’d rather feel that closeness with your main circle but it’s baffling… I know folks that leave the boxed thinking of small communities to study in Universities overseas where they’re forced into a world full of sampling things. But after mixing with all these cultures and all that friendliness with people… they go back and box themselves back in. Really? I mean you and your crew have both tasted different fruits but you’d rather watch each other in your lil box eating sour grapes? Come on now! Bring something different to the table and you wont end up spending your time finding ways to diss each other for entertainment.

I’ve passed all this sampling and for me it’s more of the gender thing. Because I’m a guy I can’t do this and that coz it’s girly? Scratch that… I wanna knit I knit! Not very well but hey lol. If I prefer a girls perfume to the one I have on I’ll wear it… first of all who the hell decides it’s going to be only for women? Second of all are you such a robot you’re gonna follow orders blindly instead of going for what makes you happy? It’s all made up according to peoples whims. And it just limits you man!

Sorry part of this was meant to be in another thought but hey when these fingers start walking… you get the point right?

Recommended songs
No Limit – 2 Unlimited
Do What I Like – 2 Unlimited
‘Cuz I Can – P!nk

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Adverse to the Vice of Advice

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Adverse to the Vice of Advice
We all give and get it. If you’re ill… drink your own pee, or something along those lines :s. Do we really wanna help or are we just programmed to give out advice. After I got deported I was told a hundred and one things I ‘should have done’. Yeah thats a big help, thank you. I say listen to your instinct. If it concerns your body and you’re usually healthy… listen to it. Use some intelligence of course. Remember that story of the old man, the kid and the donkey? If they kid was on the donkey others would comment on the old man should be the one on it. When old man was on… comments on the kid should be on. When both were on… poor donkey. Think they ended up carrying the donkey instead… Again… keep others advice and opinions in mind but don’t let it sway your main decision. Do you! Another thing I feel this advice stuff is about is laziness. Not purposely but like folks can’t really be bothered to help you so they give you the instructions. I’m not saying all advice is bad but some folks end up over doing it… and I’ve noticed its the same folks that like talking a lot. Oh what did you do last night, I just ate and watched TV. Yeah? Well you should have done this and that instead. Ok let me get my remote and rewind to last night again to fulfill your commands!

My point is advice is wasted. My spiritual guru calls them orphans lol. Coz the giver dishes them out while the receiver does not take it. The only people you should give advice to are the ones asking for it… and even them… you have to be careful how you give it and what dosage you give. Mostly because sometimes the one asking for the advice is really just bringing it up for show… they want you to feel they’re trying to improve or whatever… I know coz I do it to shut these advice givers up. The other case I noticed is folks asking for advice only as an excuse to bring up a certain topic they need to get off their chest. Lots of folks will come to me telling me they’re stressed and wanna know more about meditation… but I’ve noticed they wanna drop the load of whats really stressing them. So yeah… we know we all give advice, it’s a programmed response… hell we even give advice to shut others up… which brings me to my point. My ‘advice’ is even if you do give advice, don’t hold on to the goal expecting the person to take it. There’s always someone who needs advice but only the ones that want it will take it.

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Reversed Pedophile (Warning: Offensive/Controversial Content!)

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Reversed Pedophile (Warning: Offensive/Controversial Content!)
It’s been a while since I typed something outrageous so here goes … we know a pedophile is an adult who has and attraction for and/or seduces children. But what’s the term for a child who has an attraction for adults? First of all I’m not the only one so don’t even pretend to be offended by this. My classmates and myself were obsessed by a couple of teachers and prayed they’d make a move on us. Some of my classmates would even purposely rub themselves as they pretended to squeeze by the teachers. There are way more so called ‘children’ with this preference than there are pedos so I propose we come up with a term. And since MJ’s situation where have all these pedos come from? Where the hell were they when I was a child. Hope I’m not breaking any laws talking about it. Just in case… I’m stating facts about my past. Someone did give me a term but I can’t remember it… please feel free on recommendations.

Think it was geri/gerophile… as in geriatric.

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The Boon and Bane of Boredom

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The Boon and Bane of Boredom
One of my favorite contradictions. Since as far back as I can remember I’ve had this programmed into me… ‘been there, done that’. And if thats the case I don’t even have to consciously decide on my options… anything but what I’ve already experienced. Whatever it is… if it’s the norm I’ll go for something else. I think mom was the same in many ways. Lets takes music for example… I used to wonder how some of the folks I knew could only be so immersed in one genre. But now I appreciate them because without them who else is going to recommend the cream of the crop to me. My uncle calls me an extremist in that sense. I’ll be for one thing so intensely and then for the opposite once I’ve figured out the patterns. It’s weird, how can I be so frustrated at predictability. I know the suns going to shine tomorrow again but I’m not frustrated about that. Its like I get mad at patterns because once I’ve figured it out I want to explore more, experience everything.

It’s also a safety mechanism. There was a time I loved getting drunk… hated the taste of alcohol but loved getting high… did it so much usually 4 days a week for more than 3 years… but like my spiritual guru compares things to the bow and arrow… I guess its the same… I was in that habit so long I knew each and every phase of the procedure and as much as I loved dancing my trouble away inebriated my best bit was the hangover. At that age there were no headaches or pains. I’d just lay on the couch the whole day ruminating and that’s where all these thoughts, revelations, realizations dawned. Now I hardly drink. That’s just an example of how the arrow of experience would be pulled so far back to boredom that it shoots in any direction… as long as its not where it is. Thanx to that I’ve pushed boundaries, not only exploring music but eating the weird and nastiest of foods, or even little things like climbing stairs in different ways, sitting in random positions (and I’ve found a favorite which does not look very conventional but hits the spot ;))

I love boredom when it pushes me but I absolutely abhor it when I’m still stuck in the rut. The same guru says let that happen… let it pinch you so hard you can’t help but move on. I purposely get obsessed with things I’m into just because I know that bow/arrow reflex is close. Sometimes not that close but eventually it comes. Only I’ve reached a point where it all feels the same… like its a pizza base… whatever it is, is just different topping. Give it a different name… calzone, quesadillas… c’est la même chose! The base is the same… say like travelling right… all these great cities… but the patterns the same… they all have their distinct foods, buildings, monuments, lifestyles… but they all have it in the end. Same Starbucks, McD’s, etc… different subtitles. You know what I mean? What more is there. Sometimes I think I better slow down coz I’m literally going to be bored to death before my time and according to my lifeline I have a long way to go lol. But then what if I squeeze every experience/boundary… whats after that?

Oh and another thing… as much as I talk about boredom… I’m hardly ever bored. Does that even make sense? Like I’ll get bored OF something… but being bored itself? Say like I’ll get bored of listening to the same song… but I’m bored OF that song… like … YEAH, it’s like I get bored of external stuff but inside… there’s just too much magic… maybe thats what’s next. Deep inside I know (not because enlightened folks have said it) that all these experiences I crave to experience, the real experiences are really inside. Say like you take a drug or drink… it’s just firing of synapses/releasing chemicals/etc that are already inside you. Again my spiritual guru says when you enjoy a smell/sound/etc… you close your eyes, he says we do that because it’s really inside which enjoys it. The whole beauty is in the ‘eye of the beholder’ thing. Hmmm… hope I don’t get bored of typing my random thoughts because they help me see things from different angles. ;o)

Like Aries Spears says … ‘Sample that’! I go by it… there’s just too much out there. But thats another topic.

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Preacher Man – The Root of Sin

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Preacher Man – The Root of Sin
Lets get this straight… the original Hebrew/Aramaic text for the word Sin means to miss the mark. So all those preacher mens out there calling you sinners and making you feel like you have the devil in you need to shut the hell up. We are born to make mistakes and learn from them but in these guys case you make a mistake and they make you feel like you’ve been possessed by Satan. How can a harmless thing like missing the mark turn into the end of the world word SIN!? Through the preacher! It’s his responsibility to share the right knowledge… not guilt trip you into being a good so and so. And it’s equally the people responsibility to address this if they feel like the teachings are being lead a different way.

I’ll tell you one thing… as much as Mom was into Christianity even I couldn’t stand most of the ignorant preachers. Plus I’ll never forget Dad’s wise words… study the preacher. Does your preacher talk like he’s been possessed himself? Most of these Christian ones shout, call you Sinners, make you feel guilty for being human. Just a question… what do you think the ideal teacher/preacher/knowledge giver would be like? I don’t know about you but I’ve seen my ideal ones and they’re full of love, understanding, they don’t tell you what you want to hear or make it sound like soaps to keep you attention. They don’t even answer the questions you asked but address the root of the question, never raising their voice, calling you names or emotionally blackmailing you to put a lil something something in the offering.

Also notice the followers of the ignorant preachers… they’re really only true on Sundays or so extremely true everyday that they themselves start preaching the foolishness. We need to help these people so they don’t miss the mark and in turn help their followers not miss the mark. I mean the Church moms used to go to had all these ‘saved’ Indian women that used to go to peoples houses and break or throw away other peoples murtis/statues/idols etc. Lol I wish they’d come to my house just to see how dad would set em straight lmao.

On a lighter note:
One of the days I took moms to her ‘Church’ and one of the aunties comes up to me. ‘Your mother has been saved. Have you been saved.’ So I was like, ‘I’m not a Word document.’

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Ruminate 2008

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Ruminate 2008:
2008 was without a doubt the greatest Juggernauting I did. Man just the last 4 months made previous years look like baby step. Ok quick recap…
– Spiritually – upped 4 notches… like that means anything on the path.
– Body and mind – on swole so that’s good, hell I had to chill on getting deezed coz it was hindering my yoga.
– Objective and cheap thrills – I thought some of those would take years. Cheap thrill wise I did more naughty stuff but hey before I turn 30 I gotta get it out of my system.
– Friend and family – Found a new love and appreciation for both and of course made some great friends along the way like the Happeners. Oh and when I think of how far we come and what my gopis mean to me… the lump in my throat makes it hard to express it.
– Food – trying the opposite especially coz this year I wanna work on that will power. Didn’t think I’d last this long without meat but hey it’s like a mini adventure. Of course for my usual junk food places, my options have been reduced to about 12 parasent.
– Tantrums and the fire – Correct me if I’m wrong… past year I didn’t mail any drama. In fact missed it so much, I’m thinking of going through my old stash to give you the juice and me the reminder of how far I am from that now. Then again… might just leave it where it is… ah who knows. Violence… the thoughts are still there but no word and action so… maintain.
– Seva/service – Either it don’t feel like seva anymore or feel I could have done more. Either way not beating myself over it coz I was doing me.
– Romance – Got somewhere, then ended up somewhere else, then just didn’t have time. I’mma stick to dates. Starting to think I’m not cut out for LTRs anymore. Anyway my main squeeze been with me through it all… Music.
– Music – Came across some really good stuff in 2008, especially the Gipsy stuff. Big up to all those that recommended amazing stuff.
– Career and studies – Started working towards it and it’s getting places. Def upped a few notches with lessons. My main motto – what my heroes and gurus of various areas been saying… DO WHAT YOU LOVE and the rest will fall in place. But yeah, got a LOT of projects lined up this year.
– Art and Design – Used to wait to get props to motivate me but my motivational gurus pushed me to give my 100 parasent so started that towards the end.
– Universal – Managed to make it less about me only when I have an entertaining story to tell ;o) Messed up with AdSense but hey. Folks my site says it all… I want to share YOUR skills with the Universe. Even if it’s something you came across… you were the digger you get? Big up to the contributors.
– Other bits – Boy did I check off soooo much off my cheap thrill list ;o)

Ok so accomplished soo much and it’s all for the one and only Mathe, I know you’re watching, no question of how proud you are and I hear you constantly telling me ‘steady roll, Paroos’. Power moves baby. Don’t wanna hype 2009 but it’s looking good especially with the new start, new place, new work.

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