We all need to break just from that technology, just for a minute. My point is, for a guy your age wouldn’t even know the pain, because in your generation, it’s like the space shuttle blows up every fucking day (refereing to the time his teacher put on the TV so the class could watch the space shuttle launch which then blew up). How can you care about anything when you know every goddamn thing?
I’m getting over one cop shooting, and then another one happens, and then another one happens, and another one happens. I’m crying about Paris, and then Brussels happens. I can’t keep track of all this shit. So you just give the fuck up. That’s the hallmark of your generation, and that’s fucked up, because your generation lives in the most difficult time in human history.
This is the age of spin.
The age where nobody knows what the fuck they’re even looking at. What does it all really mean? It’s easier not to care for you.
Paras note: First of all I recommend the book or ebook instead of the audiobook because of the diagrams and figures. Second, the book may sound like it’s focused more on Americans with the 401K but it still has some good views on things. Third, if it gets too much either start or skip straight to the interviews in Chapter 6. I think thats the best way to change your mindset first.
– Breaks down a number of fees when you go with the wrong people.
The National Debt and Federal Budget Deficit Deconstructed
– Provides formulas to calculate your financial freedom amount and variables like buying big things.
– If you choose to find your own fiduciary, below are five key initial criteria you may want to consider when selecting an advisor:
1. Make sure the advisor is registered with the state or the SEC as a registered investment advisor or is an investment advisor representative (IAR) of a registered investment advisor (RIA).
2. Make sure the registered investment advisor is compensated on a percentage of your assets under management, not for buying mutual funds. Make sure this fee is the only fee and is completely transparent. Be sure there are no 12b-1 fees or “pay-to-play” fees being paid as compensation.
3. Make sure the registered investment advisor does not receive compensation for trading stocks or bonds.
4. Make sure the registered investment advisor does not have an affiliation with a broker-dealer. This is sometimes the worst offense when a fiduciary also sells products and gets investment commission as well!
5. With an advisor, you don’t want to just give them your money directly. You want to make sure that your money is held with a reputable third-party custodian, such as Fidelity, Schwab, or TD Ameritrade, which offers 24/7 online account access and sends the monthly statements directly to you.
– Talks about things like getting a filter instead of bottled water and finding cheaper things or even moving around the world to save more.
Investment options with low volatility such as:
1. Cash/Cash Equivalents (such as money market funds with checking privileges)
2. Bonds (such as TIPS, Treasury inflation-protected securities)
3. Market-linked CDs
4. Your home – An asset, but not an investment. This is your sacred sanctuary, so you shouldn’t be “spending” it!
5. Your Pension (if you’re lucky enough to have one)
6. Guaranteed Annuities (a good one!)
7. Your life insurance policy
8. Structured Notes (One with 100% principal protection, purchased through an Registered Investment Advisor)
These grow slowly, especially at first, but the power of compounding means you can find investments with maximum rewards in a secure
Example of 7 main asset classes to consider:
1. Equities – another word for stocks, or ownership shares of individual companies or vehicles for owning many of them at once, like mutual funds, indexes, and exchange-traded funds (ETFs).
7. Structured Notes (anything without 100% principal protection)
The richest billionaraires pay ridiculous amounts of life insurance because income tax can’t touch it.
Living trusts – “The key benefit to using a living trust to own your core assets (your home, brokerage account, and so on) is that if you pass away, those assets will avoid probate—a costly and lengthy procedure of allowing the courts to sort through your assets (and make everything public record). But unlike a will, a living trust can also protect you and your family while you are alive. If you become ill or incapacitated, you can include an incapacity clause that allows someone to step in and handle your bills and other affairs. Don’t let experts tell you that a living trust costs thousands. You can get a template document for free by visiting http://getyourshittogether.org.”
From Warren Buffet – “Indexing is the way to go. Invest in great American businesses without paying all the fees of a mutual fund manager and hang on to those companies, and you will win over the long term! Put 10% in short-term government bonds and 90% in a very low-cost S&P 500 index fund. (I suggest Vanguard’s.) I believe the trust’s long-term results from this policy will be superior to those attained by most investors—whether pension funds, institutions, or individuals—who employ high-fee managers.”
Look up dollar cost averaging.
– Foreword by Elliot Weissbluth, founder and CEO of HighTower
– Introduction by Marc Beniof , founder and CEO of Salesforce.comSECTION 1 WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE: THE JOURNEY BEGINS WITH THIS FIRST STEP
Chapter 1.1: It’s Your Money! It’s Your Life! Take Control
Chapter 1.2: The 7 Simple Steps to Financial Freedom: Create an Income for Life
Chapter 1.3: Tap the Power: Make the Most Important Financial Decision of Your Life
Chapter 1.4: Money Mastery: It’s Time to Break ThroughSECTION 2 BECOME THE INSIDER: KNOW THE RULES BEFORE YOU GET IN THE GAME
Chapter 2.0: Break Free: Shattering the 9 Financial Myths
Chapter 2.1: Myth 1: The $13T Lie: “Invest with Us. We’ll Beat the Market!”
Chapter 2.2: Myth 2: “Our Fees? They’re a Small Price to Pay!”
Chapter 2.3: Myth 3: “Our Returns? What You See Is What You Get”
Chapter 2.4: Myth 4: “I’m Your Broker, and I’m Here to Help”
Chapter 2.5: Myth 5: “Your Retirement Is Just a 401(k) Away”
Chapter 2.6: Myth 6: Target-Date Funds: “Just Set It and Forget It”
Chapter 2.7: Myth 7: “I Hate Annuities, and You Should Too”
Chapter 2.8: Myth 8: “You Gotta Take Huge Risks to Get Big Rewards!”
Chapter 2.9: Myth 9: “The Lies We Tell Ourselves”SECTION 3 WHAT’S THE PRICE OF YOUR DREAMS? MAKE THE GAME WINNABLE
Chapter 3.1: What’s the Price of Your Dreams?: Make the Game Winnable
Chapter 3.2: What’s Your Plan?
Chapter 3.3: Speed It Up: 1. Save More and Invest the Difference
Chapter 3.4: Speed It Up: 2. Earn More and Invest the Difference
Chapter 3.5: Speed It Up: 3. Reduce Fees and Taxes (and Invest the Difference)
Chapter 3.6: Speed It Up: 4. Get Better Returns and Speed Your Way to Victory
Chapter 3.7: Speed It Up: 5. Change Your Life—and Lifestyle—for the Better
SECTION 4 MAKE THE MOST IMPORTANT INVESTMENT DECISION OF YOUR LIFE
Chapter 4.1: The Ultimate Bucket List: Asset Allocation
Chapter 4.2: Playing to Win: The Risk/Growth Bucket
Chapter 4.3: The Dream Bucket
Chapter 4.4: Timing Is Everything?
SECTION 5 UPSIDE WITHOUT THE DOWNSIDE: CREATE A LIFETIME INCOME PLAN
Chapter 5.1: Invincible, Unsinkable, Unconquerable: The All Seasons Strategy
Chapter 5.2: It’s Time to Thrive: Storm-Proof Returns and Unrivaled Results
Chapter 5.3: Freedom: Creating Your Lifetime Income Plan
Chapter 5.4: Time to Win: Your Income Is the Outcome
Chapter 5.5: Secrets of the Ultrawealthy (That You Can Use Too!)
SECTION 6 INVEST LIKE THE .001%: THE BILLIONAIRE’S PLAYBOOK
Chapter 6.0: Meet the Masters
Chapter 6.1: Carl Icahn: Master of the Universe
Chapter 6.2: David Swensen: A $23.9 Billion Labor of Love
Chapter 6.3: John C. Bogle: The Vanguard of Investing
Chapter 6.4: Warren Buffett: The Oracle of Omaha
Chapter 6.5: Paul Tudor Jones: A Modern-Day Robin Hood
Chapter 6.6: Ray Dalio: A Man for All Seasons
Chapter 6.7: Mary Callahan Erdoes: The Trillion-Dollar Woman
Chapter 6.8: T. Boone Pickens: Made to Be Rich, Made to Give
Chapter 6.9: Kyle Bass: The Master of Risk
Chapter 6.10: Marc Faber: The Billionaire They Call Dr. Doom
Chapter 6.11: Charles Schwab: Talking to Chuck, the People’s Broker
Chapter 6.12: Sir John Templeton: The Greatest Investor of the 20th Century?
SECTION 7 JUST DO IT, ENJOY IT, AND SHARE IT!
Chapter 7.1: The Future Is Brighter Than You Think
Chapter 7.2: The Wealth of Passion
Chapter 7.3: The Final Secret
Around 2005-2007 I was getting out of a bad place. David Deangelo and Dr. Paul Dobransky taught me something deeper than this. One of the few videos I’ve still kept for personal development. Deep Inner Game DVD 6 to be specific ;o)
Dr. Paul Dobransky
Self esteem: You (and groups) have boundaries and doors. Depending on what you’d like to open doors to e.g. win-win situations. You decide!
This picture shows Colleagues, Women, Family and Community as the boundaries and the doors to them.
When it comes to groups like a company you want to join, the company has it’s own boundaries and so do the individuals in the company. Together they have a set of shared ideas (mission statement). If the individuals have poor boundaries like anger, it will come on to you.
Here an innovator (R&D) of the company is pushing the boundaries and if it sits well, that is how much the company’s boundary will grow too.
This shows what happens if the innovator goes too far and tries to pull in others. They end up forming a cult which wouldn’t last too long.
When you have been doing things that are ethically wrong and you use your observing ego to see that it’s not right. You decide to close the door on yourself after raising your conscience.
Intention needs a right balance of the 4. Education, Intuition, Conscience, Experience. Fun fact: The literal translation for Sin in Aramaic is to ‘miss the mark’ which is much more forgiving than what the shame the preacher man makes you feel.
Wussy concept – Has a lot of holes in his boundaries and would rather get a woman/mommy/daddy to get come in and take over the decision making. For decision making: Conscience vs. Intuition. Intellect: Education vs. Experience. Emotional energy: Well-being vs. Confidence. (Paras note: The well-being/nurturing and courage bit really helped me as those are mother and father traits respectively and I needed to be my own parent to fix a lot of things – Personal story here).
Individuation is where you start going out on your own to figure things out after your parents have taught you (if they’re present or parent figures) as best as they can. You start to explore different groups and figure out your boundaries. Until you’re totally independent of your parents. Connected to all these groups but still separate and distinct. I hope the text explains what the images can’t and vice versa.
Richard aka Billy
Made his mind up to lose weight no matter what it takes and in turn helped his game with women. A lot of it is inner game stuff. I’m not sure if I can share the videos of these as his big is really funny so will try to include it. Otherwise I’ll just summarise the inner game stuff.
People have made phenomenal changes just by changing their belief systems. E.g. A man had a lip growth and was told it’s a curse and will die straight after so his whole appearance changed over night, lost weight, hair colour changed, etc. Until his follow up with the doctor who removed it and just said it was scar tissue after which he recovered.
You made up who you are so you can go in and see if that is still what you want to create. You are not who you think you are and you can start architecting yourself. Your bring is constantly telling you you will fail so rewrite it and instruct it the way you want.
His favourite affirmations are – Things just work out for me in life. My life just keeps getting better and better everyday. I am strong, powerful, committed and driven. I adapt and overcome at lightening speed. I’m comfortable with hot women being attracted to me (pre-supposition). I am the power. Build your own that speak to you.
Trust your unconscious.
Make a mental note of where you have come from and how strong you are.
Quote from the movie Heat (paraphrased): Don’t let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner..
Stop seeking other peoples approval. If you’re not on your journey for you and your life then it’s all BS.
Self appointment. If you don’t live for you others will decide who you are and what you’re about. The self esteem you get from this does a lot. Martial arts reference about being committed to the path and not the destination. Masters have masters and they have masters. Practice and fail to get better as more knowledge is gained from the failures. The reason you’re not successful enough is because you’ve not failed enough, fail more and faster (Robert Kiyosaki). You train over and over until you do it unconsciously. (Paras note: This part took me back to when I really got into fixing myself and I have to admit all this information has become pretty basic to me but I am very grateful for it and we could always do with a refresher.)
Gaining Leverage: When you get angry ask if it’s worth getting angry about and learn from it or use it in better ways. Is it really worth it. Acceptance vs. resistance. Decision vs. indecision. Victim/injustice vs. life student.
Goes with the attitude of him going through things no one will ever face, know what others are too ignorant to comprehend and may look dumb for a while but in this path he’s get stronger and much further down the path than others will ever go. Taking pride in the failures.
Mind being like a garden metaphor (I love this bit): Everyday you have to pull weeds. Maybe you go through a time where you’re pulling weeds everyday. Then you go through a time where you’re hoeing ;oP. And after you’re doing hoeing, it’s time to plan your seed. (Pull weeds, not pull YOUR weed ;op).
The greats reinvent themselves. You can too.
Develop a panic room in your mind. A safe spot where nothing can truly hurt you.
People do stupid things. It’s them not you. Don’t internalise it or take it personally.
Let yourself be human and forgive yourself. Nearly everyone has been through what you’re going through at some point in their lives. (Reads a nice part from the Emotional Resilience book).
David DeAngelo – Deep Inner Game – DVD 6 – Chapters
Total film length : 01:52:20:03
Chapter 01 = 00:00:00:00 – Politics
Chapter 02 = 00:13:40:00 – Group Boundaries
Chapter 03 = 00:21:27:50 – Ethics
Chapter 04 = 00:33:19:00 – Forgiveness
Chapter 05 = 00:39:34:00 – Wussy
Chapter 06 = 00:47:38:50 – Individuation
Chapter 07 = 00:52:16:50 – Introduction
Chapter 08 = 00:55:13:00 – Richard
Chapter 09 = 01:01:53:50 – Who You’re Not
Chapter 10 = 01:09:35:50 – The Mind Virus
Chapter 11 = 01:18:03:00 – Emotional Control
Chapter 12 = 01:24:05:00 – Gaining Leverage
Chapter 13 = 01:31:57:00 – Depression
Chapter 14 = 01:42:39:00 – Let Yourself Be Human
The Magic of Thinking Big by David J. Schwartz
– Big up Mr. Money Moustache for the recommendation.
– Talks about mediocrity and all kinds of excuse-itis – health, age, intelligence.
– Use big and positive words and phrases everywhere especially with people.
– Mostly pretty basic stuff like using creativity, always be open, try different things, work smart, etc.
How to use the magic of thinking big in life’s most crucial situations
A. When Little People Try to Drive You Down, THINK BIG
B. When That “I-Haven’t-Got-What-It-Takes” Feeling Creeps Up on You, THINK BIG
C. When an Argument or Quarrel Seems Inevitable, THINK BIG.
D. When You Feel Defeated, THINK BIG.
E. When Romance Starts to Slip, THINK BIG
F. When You Feel Your Progress on the Job Is Slowing Down, THINK BIG
1 – Believe You Can Succeed and You Will
2 – Cure Yourself of Excusitis, the Failure Disease
3 – Build Confidence And Destroy Fear
4 – How To Think Big
5 – How To Think And Dream Creatively
6 – You Are What You Think You Are
7 – Manage Your Environment: Go First Class
8 – Make Your Attitudes Your Allies
9 – Think Right Toward People
10 – Get The Action Habit
11 – How To Turn Defeat Into Victory
12 – Use Goals To Help You Grow
13 – How To Think Like A Leader
The first part is about dealing with insults and putdowns while the second goes deeper into responses.
Part 1 – How to Deal With Insults and Put-Downs by Neel Burton
Insults can be physical, such as punching, slapping, or spitting. More usually, they are verbal, whether direct or indirect. Examples of indirect verbal insults are jokes and ironic comments, backhanded compliments, mimicry, and false fascination. Ocular and facial expressions can substitute for speech; and things like a cold or constant stare, a false or exaggerated smile, or a raised eyebrow can, depending on their intention, also count as indirect verbal insults.
All of the above involve actively doing something, and therefore count as insults of commission. But insults of omission are equally if not more common. Examples of insults of omission are not inviting or including someone, not deferring to her age or rank, and not responding to her friendly gestures, including basic eye contact.
So, what is the best way of dealing with all these insults?
This is the weakest possible response, and this for three main reasons. First, it shows that we take the insult, and therefore the insulter, seriously. Second, it suggests that there is truth in the insult. And third, it upsets and hurts us—which can invite further insults.
This may seem like a very weak response, but in many cases is actually the strongest response of all. When someone insults us, we ought to consider three things: whether the insult is true, who it came from, and why. If the insult is true or largely true, the person it came form is reasonable, and his motive is worthy, then the insult is not an insult but a statement of fact and, what’s more, one that is potentially very helpful to us. Thus, we seldom take offense at our teacher, parent, or best friend.
In general, if you respect the person who insulted you, you ought to give thought to the insult and learn as much as you can from it. On the other hand, if you think that the person who insulted you is unworthy of your consideration, you have no reason to take offense, just as you have no reason to take offense at a naughty child or barking dog. So whatever the case, you have no reason to take offense.
3. Returning the insult
There are several problems with the put-down, even if it is a very clever one. First, it does have to be clever, and, second, it has to occur to us at just the right moment. But even if we are as sharp as Oscar Wilde, a witty put-down is unlikely to be our best defence. The problem with the put-down, however witty it may be, is that it tends to equalize us with our insulter, raising him up to our level and bringing us down to his. This gives him and his insult far too much credibility. The witty put-down should only be used among friends, and only to add to the merriment. And it should be followed by something like a toast or a pat on the shoulder. In other words, it should only ever be used for humor.
Humor is an especially effective response for three reasons: it undermines the insult, it brings the audience (if any) on side, and it diffuses the tension of the situation. Here is an example of the effective use of humor. Cato the Younger, the Roman statesman and stoic philosopher, was pleading a case when his adversary Lentulus spat in his face. After wiping off the spittle, Cato said, ‘I will sweat to anyone, Lentulus, that people are wrong to say that you cannot use your mouth.’
Sometimes, it might even be appropriate to exaggerate or add to the insult so as to make a mockery of the insulter and, by extension, the insult: ‘Ah, if only had known me better, you would have found greater fault still!’
5. Ignoring the insult
One downside of humor is that it requires quick thinking. In contrast, ignoring the insulting is easier and, in fact, more powerful. One day, a boor struck Cato while he was out at the public baths. When the boor realized that it was Cato whom he had struck, he came to apologize. Instead of getting angry or accepting his apology, Cato replied, ‘I don’t remember being struck.’ Subtext: ‘You are so insignificant that I don’t even care to register your apology, let alone take offense at your insult.’
In conclusion, we need never take offense at an insult. Offense exists not in the insult but in our reaction to it, and our reactions are completely within our control. It is unreasonable to expect a boor to be anything but a boor; if we take offense at his bad behaviour, we have only ourselves to blame.
Part 2 – First-Class Responses to Second-Class Putdowns By Linda Sapadin, Ph.D
Wouldn’t it be great if people went out of their way to appreciate what you did right instead of berating you for what you did wrong? Wouldn’t it be fantastic if people nixed their insults, squelched their criticisms and, instead, supported and encouraged you? Before you interrupt my starry-eyed fantasy, let me enjoy my moment of reverie.
Okay, micro-vacation over. Back to reality, where people blame and criticize all the time — and that’s on their good days! On their bad days, they throw in insults, curses, ridicule and humiliation.
When you’re on the receiving end of such put-downs, how should you respond?
Most people are familiar with only three strategies:
– Explain or justify why you did what you did
– Respond offensively by attacking the attacker.
– Say nothing and silently stew.
Such responses frequently result in attacks and counterattacks or passive-aggressive behavior laced with blame and shame. Thus, it’s a good idea to expand your repertoire of responses. Here are seven ideas for you to try on:
1. Agree with what’s been said. Disagree with the negative value judgment. “Yes, I agree. My room is a mess. No need to call me names, though. I’ll clean it up this evening. Promise.”
2. Respond to what’s happening (the process), not to what was said(the content).
“I can see you’re upset with me. Can you calmly explain what I did that’s bothering you?”
3. Agree that you did something wrong and apologize.
“Yes, I should have called earlier to cancel. I apologize. I’d like to set another date now if that’s OK with you.”
4. Disagree but try to understand the other person’s viewpoint.
“I didn’t think I did anything wrong but I see you’re upset. Tell me more about what’s upsetting to you so I can understand.”
5. Enlighten the person about your sensitivities.
“I feel demeaned when you use that tone of voice with me. You may think there’s nothing wrong with it, but it feels patronizing to me.”
6. Offer the person another way to phrase what he said.
“I don’t mind if you call me ‘sensitive’ but it feels like a putdown when you say I’m ‘overly sensitive.’
7. Be succinct.
Often, the less you say, the more powerful your message. “The name you just called me is totally unacceptable. I don’t deserve to be treated that way.”
If you believe that you’ve been unfairly put down, your goal should be to respond with valuable, constructive information in a confident, strong tone of voice.