Compassion & Trust by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
1993 Santa Barbara California
Ok observe what is happening in the mind right now. What is happening? Whatever I say is secondary, but you being aware of what is happening right now with you is primary. See a question arises and you’re waiting for an answer. Are you aware of this? Or in your mind you say yes or no, you agree or disagree. Are you aware of this? This is a quality of consciousness which does not come unless we develop it, unless we call for it. See what I’m saying? There are few qualities in human beings which makes us different from an animal. Can you tell me what they are? How come human being are different from other animals. There are very few qualities, you can count them on one hand. One of them is laughing. You are bestowed with laughing. Understanding, though animals do have a degree of understanding, humans have it much different and much more. Though there is intelligence, even a bird or whatever, there is a small about of intelligence. Do you see that? They make their nest, they know how to pick up their food, they know, all their needs they take care. But they do not how to be aware of themselves. What is happening in them every moment. And this does not come in us unless we tap the source. For example we have been breathing all the time, aren’t we? Unless we put our attention, we will not be aware of the breath. You know the first act of life is you took a deep breath in and the last act is breathing out. First act was breathing and second is crying, and your last act you breathe out and make others cry. When you cried everybody else laughed, and when you laugh in the end, you will laugh ‘that is death’. Nobody asked about death. Total relief. When you laugh then everybody else cries. Just that shift, change of duties.
Between this first act of life and the last, all through life we are breathing. Not a single moment we suspend our breath. Whether eating, sleeping, walking, talking, etc the breath has been with us but we are not aware of it. Breath is the link between the body, your spirit and your mind. And there are rhythms in the breath, have you noticed your breathing is different in different state of your mind, emotions, thoughts. When you have a sigh of relief you breath out, exhalation is more prominent. And when you’re enjoying something, your inhalation is prominent. Your exhalation is in the background. So every mode/mood of mind, every wave of emotion in us has a corresponding rhythm in the breath and this rhythm in the breath has a corresponding sensation in different parts of the body. So they’re all linked, when we look at them, observe them, life becomes more integrated. Mind becomes more integrated, and we are able to do things more clearly and with more joy. If you observe your mind it’s either in the past or future. We regret the past and anxious about the future. Just imagine every exit you miss… ‘oh I should have taken that exit’. It should have happened that way, I made a mistake… every moment you think I made a mistake. In a very unconscious or subconscious manner you’re piling up some dust inside you. And that regret piles up and becomes so big… and you blow up. Have you seen this happening to you?
When you let go, your mind can be in the present moment. More and more and more, you’re able to smile from the depth of your heart. Life becomes more light and easy. You know what we do, when something wrong happens we either blame ourselves or somebody else. We don’t take things as they are. We want to find out a reason, label it and put the blame on somebody else or ourselves. So we constantly get into this trip of blaming someone or ourselves. Which leads into one another. You blame others because you blame yourself. And because you blame yourself you start blaming others. Do you see this pendulum that happens. Life has much more to offer to us. Don’t you think so? Someone asked forgiveness. First you think somebody has intentionally done something wrong to you. Then you try to forgive them. It becomes hard to. I’ll tell you compassion is better than forgiveness. The very word implies there is an intention in somebodies mistake. Somebody is bad so you’re going to forgive them. Peep into their hearts, go beyond their words, beyond their behaviour. You will see, they need compassion. They need help. They’re not happy. One who is happy will not make a mistake, will not harm anybody, will not be selfish. Cannot be selfish. Do not see intention behind somebody elses mistakes. See the inevitability behind others mistakes. Then you don’t need to forgive, you’ll simply smile at it. And you jump forward to help them. Does that make sense?
When there is a wound somewhere deep inside a person he will try to share that with other people, what else can he do? You just recognise, oh he needs compassion. Compassion is the only treatment, unconditional love is the only medicine. Letting go is the medicine for that. You know we try to hold on to people, even when we love we love with a condition. See I love you so in return you must love me or do something else. Better you prove your love to me.
See you doubt in the positivity of people, goodness of people. You don’t doubt in the negativity or badness in the people do you? Have you ever doubted in someones anger towards you? Have you ever said, are you really angry at me, I don’t believe it! (laughter) But if someone says I love you dear, you say ‘really’. Sure? Truly? Then prove it! Just examine what do you doubt always what is good. Whether it is in you or in someone else. When you’re depressed you never doubt your depression but when you’re happy you doubt… am I really happy, is this really what I want. And then mind says I’m not sure. You get the best job, what you desire and then ‘is this the best job, I’m not sure’. (laughter) But when you’re in a tight position, you don’t want to be there, do you doubt it? No, you don’t doubt that.
In order to trust you first understand your doubt. You doubt yourself and you doubt people around you, and then you doubt in the existence of god. Which is very abstract. The world lives on trust. Every aspect in life moves with trust. And even your life, if there is no trust at all, it cannot move an inch. I like a disease you know, when you doubt yourself, will I be able to do this. You doubt in your capabilities, you never doubt in your incapabilities. And because of this you start doubting in people around you. You start with an assumption ‘everybody is hopeless and a cheat, let me try to find who is the right person’. And it becomes so hard to find somebody right. Because you start with an assumption everybody is a cheat. You see what I’m saying? And the same, with the presence of something which is beyond comprehension of a small intellect, of our mind. Awareness of the divine, the divine presence. Now the question comes, how do you remember it all the time?
I tell you there is no need to remember it all the time. Forget about it. Your effort to remember god or divine all the time, is of no use. Now I ask you, do you remember your name all the time. Do you have to remember every morning, I am so and so? (laughter) Do you have to remember you live in Santa Barbara every morning? Do you have to remember that you have to eat, sleep, brush everyday? Or do you have to sit and memorise the names of all your relatives and friends. Or do you feel disconnected if you don’t remember your family anytime? NO! It’s not like remembering a poem or saying my god, my god. Of course you say often OH MY GOD! But when a different tone, you don’t remember god anyway. (laughter) All you remember is how bad the situation is. Remembrance is just experiencing the presence in the sense it was said then… being present, alert, awake. It’s not again and again thinking.
Do you make an effort to be joyful, to be loving. I tell you then you’re going the other way. The moment you make an effort to love somebody or to be happy. You cannot be! It’s a part of you. Same with the divine, divine is part of you. You cannot even if you want. Just being aware of it. Like being aware you are in Santa Barbara. It’s not a constant effortful thinking. You see what I’m saying? Often people were told remember god, immediately we come to the conclusion… it is an awful effortful thinking. Or doing. Those who do not know the truth will say those. When you experience joy, whenever you are happy, loving. All those moments you have been in touch with the divine nature that is deep inside you. When you are natural, when you don’t pretend, then you are very close to the divine. I’m not saying, you should not pretend.
If you are an air hostess in a plane you have to pretend with a smile on your face. Goodbye goodbye, welcome, nice having you on the flight, whatever. (laughter) All those words. Hope you enjoyed. You can do that. As long as you are aware that your real life is not just this, there is a real depth to it. There is another dimension to it. Now another thing is we keep looking whether people love us or like us or not. And we make efforts to love people and like them. Tell you… don’t worry. Even if they don’t like you or love you. From your side consider they do love you. So that your love at least gets protected. Otherwise when you think someone does not love you, then you will also stop loving them. Hasn’t this happened to you. Say even if somebody doesn’t love you, you just go and tell them ‘oh I know you love me so much’. Tell them 5-6 times and see the change in them. Even if they don’t love you they’ll start loving you. They can’t but. It just gets kindled, instead you keep challenging, asking do you really love me? If you really love me you wont do like this. You should be doing this way. When we put it like that, when we keep such measuring rods, then we are draining love. You see what I’m saying? What do you say?
Abundance. Abundance again is a state of mind within you. If you just look at lack, the lack increases in life. You may think you lack hundred thousand dollars, ok tomorrow you have hundred thousand dollars. Then you feel you lack 200 thousand dollars. A gentleman, a homeless prayed to god. Give me just 1 million and that’s it, I wont ask anything more. I can live all my life and half of it I will donate to other people. So god said ok, you have it. So he got a lottery. He got one million, but he had never spend so much, what should I do now. So he went looking in Sunset Boulevard, LA. And he found a home there, nice. A million and a quarter. (laughter) Said ohhhh I’m so unlucky, if only I had a quarter more. I’d have had this house of my dreams. I had always dreamt of this house all my life.
The lack continues. Don’t look at the lack. See what you have. You know, then abundance increases. You talk to any big movie producer or a big industrialist. You know they have big credit. You may have a 100,000 credit and they have 4 million credit. And you talk to the treasury of this country, they’ll say oh this country is in debt. We are in recession. It’s a huge debt. Isn’t it? You talk to the California state, whoever it is, what do you say treasury? Are they not in some debt? (audience – big debt) More money a person has, he invests in an industry, he wants to expand it so he gets a bigger loan and a bigger loan is again a? Debt! If he just looks at it he’s find and say oh its a big lack. Nobody can ever feel abundance if they just look at that. Focus, because where you put your energy, that increases in life. Your attention increases whatever, wherever it goes. If you think nobody loves me, everybody hates me, then I tell you that is what is going to happen. Coz you’re looking that way. I’m sure you’ll find that… say a nice person will not give you big smile, or they might not welcome you. A lot is because you are directing your attention that way. Take it for granted even if nobody loves you, say everyone loves me. The air loves me, that’s why it’s going inside me. The day the sun stops loving you, earth stops loving you, you can never be here. God loves you, that is enough.
And you are love! That is enough! There is no way, no action, you can ever convince anybody that you really love them. The more we try to do, we are doing the contrary. Have you observed that. It’s happening in every relationship. Nobody wants to get hurt. They love each other, yet they are unable to convince each other. Isn’t this the problem in the world today? All the broken marriages, they do not really want to break. But they cannot live with them. Why? They are tired of convincing the other person that they really love them. And all that they do to convince that they really care for them, turns the other way around. Only way, is to be in this space. Only this is fairness. Otherwise all looks unfair. You can say God is really unfair. Either think that way, mercilessly takes everything away and floods the places. Everything falls, irrespective.
Whenever you want to see fairness, you are setting a standard in your mind and you want a feat to happen. I tell you it cannot happen all the time. I’m not saying it’s wrong to have a standard, it’s only fair to be i time. What I’m saying is this thought of fairness should not ferment inside you coz this raises a big question. And when this question stays fermented for a longer time, becomes violence. Behind every criminal the question of fairness comes. What is fair? This is not fair. That’s how it starts. This is not fair becomes ‘really unfair’. They start acting that way isn’t it. Don’t worry about what is fair and unfair. Relax and do whatever you can. You have to live in a world which is so diverse, so many different type of people are here. Their ideas are completely contradictory/opposite. Some are interested in rebirth, some are interested in death, some in happiness, some sorrow. There is variety in this world. You have to live amidst that. In this world there are many thieves/robbers and so is the police department. Just imagine there are not thieves/robbers… why should there be a police department. There is suffering so there is kindness and compassion and help. Completely opposite and they do exist… they co-exist. Just re understand this and we becomes fair to our self. And our mind comes in tune.
So our daily life we can live with a smile form inside. Why do we live, what we want. You’ll see all that we want is happiness. And the whole life we prepare to be happy and we are never happy. It’s like making bed all night and having no time to sleep. If you just take statistics. One third we spend in our beds, 10 years in the dining table, in the bathroom say 3 hours that adds to another 10 years. On the freeway/road… how much? Working/earning money 25-30. So how many have we lived with a smile, with love, with joy. You’ll maybe calculate 3 years? (laughter) But if you are aware, if your heart is open, you can see every moment you can live in that moment/in the knowledge. No matter what you’re doing, you don’t have to get away from all this and sit in some mountain, some monastery… no no. You can be doing your work, do all you want to do and maintain that inner awareness.
