Life is extremely beautiful. It’s not a problem for the trees, birds, earth, sky. It’s only problem for men because men has learnt a trick … of postponement. Then a moment comes that you can’t cope. It becomes to big you can cope. Always caring the burden on your head. How can you enjoy, celebrate, dance. Then someone says there is god. You hear it but you can’t believe. Maybe there is a devil but not a god. You would like to end it. It’s rare to find a man that has not contemplated suicide. That life is so unliveable, rather than being more in it you’d rather be a drop out. How can you love god, pray. Prayer comes out of gratitude. A life lived well becomes a life of prayer. Nothing to do with temples, churches and mosques. Moment to moment, aware and alert. Becomes a prayer. And prayer becomes a meditation and then you don’t even pray because words disturb. Your prayer is silent… it’s meditation. So to understand that existence is beautiful you have to live a different type of life. Not of postponement. This is moment to moment. Past – It is no more there it’s already flown away. You are unnecessarily disturbed by a ghost. Don’t burden yourself with the future. When it comes you’ll be there to meet it. Why plan right now? Because the way you plan is never going to happen. Your planning is bound to be a greater problem. Your plan you want to impose on existence. Existence is not to follow you, you can follow it and feel graceful. You don’t know the whole, you don’t know the desire, destiny of the whole. They are bound to be broken and your heart is broken. Drop the past. And don’t bring the future in. This moment is all. Live it alert and small things will be dealt and it will grow. No great problems. Lao Tzu says there are no great problems for great men. There are always handled when they are small. Within his hands, something can be done. And when you do that you are always fresh. Dept never collects on your being. Next moment you slip as a virgin. Like a snake leaves it’s old skin. Then life is a mystery to be lived and lived totally. ANd you feel grateful. A blessing.

Let me tell you few examples. Archmedeas was trying to solve a scientific problem. Did his best. And he was the first to tackle this problem. There is not history, nothing of the past. He worked hard, became tense. What can you do when you can’t solve? One day in his bath relaxed, he dropped the idea of solution. Suddenly it’s solved. He becomes so ecstatic that he forgot he was naked. He rose to his feet crying eureka! Meaning I have found it! The whole town thought he has gone mad. When the king asked how… he says by non-doing. I had dropped all activity. When you relax you become one with the whole. You are no more with the ego, with the individual… you are with the whole. When you are tense you become individual. A concentrated ego. Ego is too small to solve anything. When ego is not there relaxing … suddenly it happens. It happened to Buddha. For 6 years he was doing and doing too much. Nobody has been in search as deeply as him… doing whatever he could. Going to teachers, teachers became helpless. He did everything perfectly but did not achieve… did better than his own masters. They said forgive us… we can’t help you and it’s not happening. You find another teacher. He was fed up teachers, systems, techniques. He did it own his on. Still nothing. 6 years! Then one day while passing the river he had become so weak because of a long fast. He couldn’t cross the river. The river is not big but he was really weak, he remained cling to the root. He started thing what have I been doing… I’ve simply destroyed myself. The world is finished that I left behind and this moksha, salvation … I drop it too. That very tension became the barrier. Both of these guys felt and upsurge of energy. When there is no greed, desire… this moment is enough. The ego disappears. Relaxed under the bhodhi tree. That night he slept perfectly well. For the first night he slept without dreams. Because dreams are part of desires. The day dreaming continues. Thousands of desires unfulfilled. They create some consolation for the mind. But when you don’t desire… dreams disappear. For the first time you sleep. You disappear into the whole. Early in the morning he woke fresh as a newly born child. No mind to look. No desire. That moment was eternity because when you desire you are always moving into the future. That time Buddha became like a flower. A bird sings here and now. A man things always somewhere else. A man is never where he is. Physically he was there, mentally, spiritually he was there. Thats why that tree became the tree of enlightenment.

So when people asked him how… he said when I stopped. Stopped seeking, dropped everything. Sometimes you may have observed … not Buddha like but you try to remember a name. It’s just on the tip of the tongue. And it is not coming and you feel suffocated and tense. What can you do… the more you try the more it seems impossible. Then you drop, you take a cigarette, you go for a walk. You engaged yourself somewhere else. Do something to forget about it and it pops… there it is. That is a tiny example. If you know this then you know what it means. There are things you cannot attain by action. This is the criterion if you can attain something by action… it belongs to this world. To the world of matter. And anything of the spirit cannot be attained by action. Through inaction. In the world of being. Being, doing is not needed. There you flower the greatest height. No effort is needed. Says a Zen master… sitting quietly doing nothing is the only way to do something. The grass grows by itself. They grow by themselves, you simply sit by the side. Once you realise this… a new dimension has opened for you.

Osho – The Art of Living 1 | Osho – The Art of Living 2 | Osho – The Art of Living 3
Osho – The Art of Living 4 | Osho – The Art of Living 5 | Osho – The Art of Living 6
Osho – The Art of Living 7

Q – You said recently that most of humanity is vegetating rather than living, please explain to us the art of living so that death may also become a celebration.

Man is born to achieve life but it all depends on him. He can miss it, he can go on breathing, eating, ageing… but it’s not life. It’s gradual death, 70 year long. And because millions are dying slow like this… you also start imitating them. Children learn from those around them and they are surrounded by the dead. So first we have to understand what I mean by life. It must not be simply growing old, it must be growing up. Any animal is capable of growing old. Growing up means moving every moment deeper into the principle of life, going farther away from death, not towards death. The deeper you go into life the more you understand the immortality in you. When you see death is nothing but changing of clothes, houses, forms… nothing dies. Death is the greatest illusion there is. For growing up just watch a tree… as the tree grows up, it’s roots are growing down, deeper, there is a balance… higher it goes, deeper the roots go. Growing up means growing deep within your self, where your roots are. To me the first principle in life is meditation, everything else comes second. And childhood is the best time. As you grow older you come closer to death, so it gets more and more difficult to go into meditation. Medatation is going into your imortality, eternity, godliness.

The child is the most qualified for with, unburdened by knowledge, religion, education, all kinds of rubbish. He is innocent but unfortunately his innocence is being condemned as ignorance. They both have a similartity, like a state of not knowing. The great difference overlooked by humanity up to now … innocence is not knowledgable but it is not desirous to be knowledgable either. It is utterly content, fulfilled. A small child has no ambition, desires… he’s so absorbed in the moment… just a butterfly, beautiful colours and he’s enchanted and he cannot concieve that there can be anything more significant, richer. Innocence is rich, full, pure. Ignorance is poor, a beggar, wants this and that, wants to be knowledgable, respectable, wealthy, powerful. It moves on the path of desire. Innocence is a state of desirelessness. But because they bother are without knowledge we have remained confused about their nature. We have taken it for granted that they’re both the same.

The first step of the art of living is to create a line between innocence and ignorance. Innocence has to be supported, protected. The child has brought with it the greatest treasure that sages find about so much effort. They say they have become children again, they are reborn. The real Bhramin in india the real knower has called himself ‘dwij’ – twice born. Why? What happen to the first birth and what is he going to gain in the second birth. He is going to gain what was in the first birth but they people around him destroyed it. Every child is being stuffed with knowledge. His simplicity has be to somehow removed, because simplicity is not going to help him in this competitive world, it will look in the world as if he’s a simpleton. His innocence will be exploited in every possible way. Afraid of the society, of the world we have created. We try for every child to become clever, cunning, knowledgeable, being the powerful not the powerless/oppressed. And once he starts growing in the wrong direction, he goes on moving that way.

When you understand that you have missed life, the first priciple to be brought back is innocence. Drop knowledge, forget scriptures, forget religions, theologies, philosophies… be born again. Become innocent and it is in your hands. Clean your minds from what you don’t know for youself, all that is borrowed, all that has come by tradition, convention. Given by others, parents, teachers, universities… drop all that. Once again be simple, a child… and this miracle is possible by meditation. Meditation is simply a strange surgical method which cuts you away from what is not yours. Saves only that which is your authentic being and burns everything else, leaves you standing naked, alone under the sun, in the wind. As if you’re the first man, who knows nothing, who has to discover everything, who has to be a seeker, to go on a pilgrimage.

The second priniple is the pilgrimage. Life must be a seeking. Not a desire but a search. Not an ambition. Not to become a president or something but a search to find… who am I? It is very strange that people who don’t know who they are, are trying to become somebody. They don’t even know who they are right now, unaquainted with their being but have a goal of becoming. Becoming is a disease of a soul. Being is you! Time to discover your being is the beginning of life. Each moment is a new discovery, each moment brings a new joy, a new love starts growing in you, a new compassion that you have never felt, a new sensitivity about duty, goodness. You become so sensitive that even the smallest blade of grass takes an immense importance for you. Your sensitivity to you makes it clear that this blade of grass is as important as the biggest star and without it existence would be less than it is. And this small blade is unique, irreplaceable, it’s own individuality. This sensitivity will create new friendships for you. Friendships with trees, birds, animals, mountains, oceans, stars. Life becomes richer as love grows, as friendliness grows.

In the life of St. Francis, there is a beautiful incident… he is dying, he’s always travelled on a donkey from place to place, sharing his experiences. All his disciples are gathered to listen to the last words. Last words of a man are always the most significant ever uttered because they contain the whole experience. But what the disciples heard they could not believe. He did not address to the disciples, he addressed to the donkey. ‘Brother, I’m intensely indebted to you. You have been carrying me all over the place, never a complain. Before I leave this world all that I want is forgiveness from you, I’ve not been humane to you.’ As you become more sensitive, life becomes bigger. It is not a small pond, it becomes ocean. It is not confined to you and your wife and children. It is not confined at all. The whole existence becomes your family and unless it is your family… you have not known what life is. No man is an island, we are a vast continent joined in millions of ways. And if our hearts are not full of love with the whole in the same proportion our life is cut short.

Meditation will bring you sensitivity, a great sense of belonging to the world. It is our world, the stars are ours and we are not foreigners here. We belong intrinsically to existence, we are part of it, HEART of it. Secondly meditation will bring you a great silence because all rubbish is gone. Thoughts that are part of the knowledge are gone too. An immense silence and you are surprised that this silence is the only music there is, all music is an effort to bring this silence somehow into manifestation. The seers of the ancient east had been very emphatic on the point that all the great arts, music, poetry, dance, painting, sculpture… are all born out of meditation. They are an effort to bring the unknowable, in some way, into the world of the known. For those who are not ready for the pilgrimage, just gifts for those who are not ready to go for the pilgrimage, perhaps a song may trigger a desire to go in the search of the source. Perhaps a statue. Next time you enter a temple, of Buddha or Mahavir just sit silently, watch the statue because the statue has been made in such a way that if you watch it, you will fall silent. Because it is a statue of meditation, not concerning Buddha or Mahavir. That is why the statues look alike (he names lots of enlightened folks). All alike, exactly.

I used to ask my father in my childhood, can you explain to me… is it possible 24 persons same nose, same face, same body. And he was puzzled himself. But as my meditation blossomed I found the answer not from anybody else, I found the answer that the statues have nothing to do with the persons, they have to do something with what was happening inside the 24 that was exactly the same. What matters is that inside there is an ocean of silent. In that oceanic state the body takes a certain posture, you have observed it but you have not been alert. When you’re angry have you observed the certain posture, you cannot keep your hands open, you cannot smile. The body has to follow a certain posture with a certain emotion. So the statues are made in such a way if you just watch and close your eyes, and if a negative photo enters you start feeling something different. Those statues and temples were not built for worshipping, they were built for experiencing. They are scientific laboratories, they have nothing to do with religion. A certain secret science has been used for centuries, for the coming generations to come in contact with the experiences of older generations, not through books or words but through something which goes deeper. Through silence, meditation, peace. As your silence grows, your friendliness and love grows, your life becomes a moment to moment dance. A joy. A celebration.

You hear the fire crackers outside… have you ever thought about it… throughout the worlds in every society/culture there are few days in the year for celebration. These few days are just a compensation because these societies have taken all the celebration of your life, and if nothing is given to you in compensation, your life can become a danger to the culture. Every culture has to give some compensation to you so that you don’t feel that all lost into sadness/miseries. But they are false, outside fire crackers and lights cannot make you rejoice. For you it’s only for children, only a nuisance but in your inner world there can be a continuity of lights, songs, joys. Always remember that society compensates you, when you feel it is not compensated, the repressed my explode into a dangerous situation. Some way for allowing you to let off the repressed, but this is not true celebration and it cannot be true.

True celebration should come from your life, in your life and true celebration cannot be according to the calendar. That on 1st Nov you will celebrate, it’s strange the whole year you’re miserable then on 1st Nov you come out of misery dancing. Either the misery is false or the date is. And once 1st Nov is over you’re back in your dark holes, in misery, anxiety. Life should be a continuous celebration, a festival of lights, continuous. Only then can you grow up, blossom.

Make a small thing transform into celebration e.g. in Japan they have a tea ceremony. In every Zen monastery and house that can afford… they have a small temple for drinking tea. Now tea is no more an ordinary, profane thing, they have transformed it into a celebration. The temple for the tea is made in a certain way, beautiful garden with beautiful pond, swans, flowers, guests come, they have to leave their shoes outside. It is a temple, and as you enter the temple you cannot speak, you have to leave your thinking and speech with the shoes. You sit in a meditative posture and the host preparing tea, her movements are so graceful as if she’s dancing. Moving, preparing, putting,.. as if you are gods, with such respect. And you will receive it with such respect. And the tea is being prepared in a particular (something), which makes beautiful sounds. A music of it’s own. And it is part of the tea ceremony that everybody should listen to the music of the tea. Everybody is silent listening, birds chirping, and the tea is creating its own song, and a peace, and when the tea is ready and poured into everybody’s cup. You don’t drink it like we do everywhere. First they smell the aroma, they will sip as if it has come from beyond, they will take time, there is no hurry, somebody my play on the flute or sitar. An ordinary thing, just tea and they made it into a beautiful religious festival and everyone comes out refreshed, feeling younger, juicier.

What can be done with tea can be done with everything, your clothes, food. People are living almost in a sleep, otherwise every fabric has its own beauty, its own feel. If you are sensitive, then the cloth is not just to cover your body, then it’s something of the expression of your individuality. Something expressing your taste, culture, being. Everything that you do should be expressive of you, your signature on it. Then life becomes a continuos celebration. Even if you fall sick and you’re in bed you will make those moments in bed, moments of beauty and joy, of relaxation and rest, of meditation, listening to music, poetry. There is no need to be sad. You should be happy that everybody is in the office while you’re in the bed like a king relaxing, someone is preparing tea, a friend has offered to come and play flute for you, which are more important than any medicine. When you are sick, call a doctor, but more important call those who love you.

No medicine more important than love, call those who can create beauty, music, poetry around you because there is nothing like a mood of celebration. Medicine is the lowest form of treatment but it seems we have forgotten everything, just depend on medicine, be grumpy and sad, as if you’re missing some great joy that you were having in the office. In the office you were miserable, just one day off and you cling to misery too! You wont let it go. Make everything creative. The best out of the worst, and thats what I call the art. And if a man has lived life making every moment a beauty, a love, a joy… naturally his death is also going to be the ultimate peak of his whole life’s endeavour. The last touches, his death is not going to be ugly as it is ordinarily happening everyday to everyone. If the death is ugly then your whole life has been a wastage. If should be a peaceful acceptance, a loving entry into the unknown, a joyful goodbye to the old friends, old world. There should not be any tragedy in it.

Lin Chi was dying, 1000s of his disciples had gathered to listen to his last sermon but Lin Chi was just lying down. Joyous, smiling, but not saying a single word. Seeing that he’s going to die and not saying a word somebody reminded Lin Chi… an old friend who was a master in his own right, not a disciple, thats why he could say to Lin Chi. ‘Lin Chi, have you forgotten that you have to say the last word? I have always told you, your memory is not right. You’re dying, have you forgotten’. Lin Chi said ‘just listen’ and on the roof 2 squirrels were running. And he said ‘how beautiful’ and he died. And for a moment when he said ‘just listen’… there was absolute silence, they thought he was going to say something special… but only 2 squirrels. He smiled and he died, but he has given the last message. That don’t make things small and big, trivia and important, everything is important. At this moment, Lin Chi’s death is as important as the 2 squirrels running on the roof. There is no difference. In existence it’s all the same. That was his whole philosophy, his whole life’s teaching. Nothing great or small, it all depends on him, what you make out of it.

Start with meditation and things will go on growing in you. Silence, serenity, blissfulness, sensitivity, and whatever comes out of meditation… try to bring it out in life. Savour it because everything savoured grows fast, and when you have reached to the point of death, you’ll know there is no death. You can say goodbye, there is no need for any tears of sadness. Maybe tears of joy but not of sadness. You have to begin from being innocent, first throw out all the crap you are carrying. Everybody is carrying so much crap (Paras note: He says worse things than crap) and for what? Because people have been telling you these are great ideas, principles… you have not been intelligent with yourself. Be intelligent with yourself. Life is very simple, it is a joyful dance. And the whole earth can be full of joy and dance. But there are people who are seriously wasted their interest that nobody should enjoy life, nobody should smile, laugh. That life is a sin, punishment. How can you enjoy when the climate is such that you have been told continuously that it’s a punishment. That you are suffering because you’ve done wrong things, that it’s a kind of jail, where you have been thrown to suffer. I say to you life is not a jail, it is not a punishment, it is a reward. Given only to those who have earned it, deserved it. It is your right now to enjoy. It will be a sin if you don’t enjoy. It will be against existence if you don’t beautify it, if you leave it just as you have found it. Leave it a little more happier, more beautiful, more fragrant.

Osho – The Art of Living 1 | Osho – The Art of Living 2 | Osho – The Art of Living 3
Osho – The Art of Living 4 | Osho – The Art of Living 5 | Osho – The Art of Living 6
Osho – The Art of Living 7

Thursday 19/08/2010 – Pack, busses to link with Viv. Get some junk in our tummies. Watch Sorcerer’s Apprentice. Busses to Ameet’s listening to Vive la Fete remixes album. It’s just too good man! Ameet has guests so listen to a dentist convo. Read a pre-published version of a book.

Friday 20/08/2010 – Drive to Letchworth. Such a beautiful area man, Ameet was at work so Khushbu and I check out the area. I check into a library to send you guys the weekly blog. Langar for lunch at the local Gurudwara. Drop by a frame shop where Ameet was sorting out his and Khushbu’s wedding picture and one with Guruji in it. Read. Drive to Malvern. Hellos and all. My boy Soham has moved up from the ART Excel course to Yes! and my boy Alex moved up from Yes! to Yes! Plus. Hunt for my room… the Malvern St. James school is crazy… like the building I was staying in was a proper maze. Some of the rooms you get to through washing areas or another entrance. Glad to see some of last years ART Excel kids. Ryan hooks me up with Ferrero Rocher. Lol him and Timin remembered how much I loved chocolate. Timin’s dad had told me earlier that he’s gonna hook me up. Debrief with other teachers and assistants. Now I had also paid to do the Eternity Process so link with Katie to discuss when she can fit me in. Head ART Excel teach Su said I can’t take time off while the ART Excel course is on so Katie was like it’s better I do it during dinner and satsang as I’ll need time after that to recover. It didn’t happen but will get to it in the next few days. Hunt for food and drink. Unpack. Read.

Saturday 21/08/2010 – Had a dreamy long Kriya. Something about brekkie fruit. And something about hair mess… I think the pics will explain better. (Shit just deleted the notes about todays processes but it was the usual… meet kids, make them fill forms and make their ART Excel books). Oh yeah we played footie and Benjamin tried to score but my foot saved it but the kick was so hard it twisted my ankle right. Now I’m limping around and start hunt for pain killers, ankle support or deep heat at lunch time. Finally find Fatima… ask her to hook me up and she shows me 2 doctors. I tell the doctors my problem and here’s what they tell me… we didn’t bring anything with us so go to boots. !?!?!?! Jai hippocratic oath. I didn’t wanna bother Fatima more as her and Deepak organised the whole thing this time and they had bigger fish to fry. Everyday kids do a day chart for what we did in the morning and afternoon. Kids were hyper man… usually we don’t allow junk or chocolate but the cafeteria had hot chocolate and the kids were bouncing off the walls after lunch. Usually making them play footie or something after lunch does the trick but this time it didn’t work. Now when I saw the registrations for our course I noticed 3 brothers in the course and was like oh boy hope it doesn’t get crazy… man it was more than crazy. One bro Harrison was deaf so he needed a hearing aid and we gotta face him when speaking so he can lip read. Harrison was VERY violent and disruptive. Then there was Benjamin who has autism but what a wicked dude always high fiving everyone. Ben was like a BFG (a term I learnt there which means Big Friendly Giant). And there was Gregory who was normal and cool and stood up for Ben whenever Harrison bugged him. Harrison called Ben a retard and Ben walked off. That was not the first time… Ben, Harisson and Greg would be walking off a lot. Harrison asks me about smoking and what I smoke and stuff like that which I didn’t take too seriously till the next few days. We decide to hike up the Malverns (hills). Ria and Peter hit it off so well talking about geeky things and they were like in their on nerd world which was sooooo romantic lol. I tried to get a vid of it but the audio is not all that.

Ben runs off again and we send Ryan to get him back. One of the rules was stick with the group… as long as you can see each other you’re fine. It was so funny coz brothers Timin and Shaan wanted to go with Ryan too but Su said no and you could see them inching faster and faster till they disappeared too. So 4 kids lost… we were kinda freaked and decided to take a bit of a shortcut to see from higher ground. My ankle was killing but I managed. Oh then there was Aarjav who asked really dumbass questions just for attention and Su flipped and had a lil moment with him. Kids behaved after that. Some dude tells us that 4 kids were shouting for Su and finally we see the lost crew. They join us, have a lil discussion about responsibility etc. Ben apologised but he wanted to show he was best as he loves hiking. We all go to the top. Pics and amazing views and etc. Slip and crew up my ankle even more.

Get to class and change. Timin hooks me up with chocolates. He’s become crafty but it’s nice to see he’s entrepreneurial. Our bed had After Eight chocolates and he decided to collect them for me and says I owe him some so we negotiate. I think he’s been getting pocket money too as every time he’d be like lets go buy this and that or whatever we needed for the games and processes he’d be like we can buy it here and there. Dinner. Debrief. Note: I hardly see the other teachers or assistants sitting with the kids and for me thats when you can do some real work coz it’s smaller groups and more personal. My usual questions are what time they sleep, what they eat and what they watch and take it from there. Since it was a mega meet of courses from adults Part 1 and 2 and yoga and meditation and both the Yes! courses we all gather in the Part 2 course hall for satsang. It was such an awkward satsang. Khushbu and I kept laughing at folks fighting for the microphone just to sing a satsong nobody else was interested in singing along or that was really bad singing. Join with the kids in The Hex, which is where we do the ART Excel course and one of the rooms has a foosball, table-tennis and pool table. This time round I told the folks I’ll take care of the kids till 10 and then send them to their rooms. So did that and the kids ended up in Peter’s room making a racket with their own versions of X Factor and the like. Read. For some reason I thought I fell asleep at 12 but it was just 10.30 or something.

Sunday 22/08/2010 – Priyanka’s mom brings her dog Tonka over so kids play while my group (the Ninjas) do Saturday afternoon chart. Decide a play and sort out auditions. Ben walked out to write a whole list of plays to do which were basically movies and our criteria was 1 – a part for everyone, 2 – fitting the story in 10 minutes, 3 – realistic or something something. Play dog and the bone. Harrison walks off. Ryan tries to get him back but didn’t work and to our amazement Ryan sat down and did the Victory breath (for anger, sadness, fear). I followed Harrison and found him 3 times so those are my 3 strikes coz he walked off again. Debbie found him in a bush and I was like wow dude does not want to be found. Kids learn their Kriya (Happy breath). Now the food was not all that satvic and after a while we noticed it gave us gas big time. The good part was it was sooooo much gas that it was not vibrating bootie noisy gas it was more like blowing cigarette smoke gas. But some of the kids were leaving some very smelly ghosts. An amazing teacher from New Zealand (Parul) visits us. See I was sharing a room with Suresh and we saw Parul’s name on our room too and we’re like thats the first time they’ve mixed accommodation but thats coz someone thought Parul was a guy. She was so natural with the kids and wow the way she handled them and answered dodgy questions etc. Anyway swimming time now and I forgot my trunks so Suresh was like we’ll do it in our boxers but then Ryan hooked me up with his dads spare ones.

Do a trust walk where we blindfold one kid and another kid is entrusted to take them around kinda thing. Quick dinner so we can get back to The Hex and sort out our costumes and props for the play. Oh yeah we decided on The giraffe, pelly (Pelican) and me. Satslang? I’m sure I put slang for a reason but can’t remember but yeah once again another awkward satsang and this time quite a few of us refused to carry on we just closed our eyes and meditated while whoever was interested carried on clapping or singing. Lol we stayed silent till the song changed and then when Josh got on the mic we blew up… and just then the dude that was playing Djembe played a garba beat so I went to give him props and he handed me the chair and djembe. See some singers and DJs need to realise when theres audience participation you have to do familiar easy to follow stuff not what your favourite. Alex comes to me like ‘I’ve finally met someone that high fives more than me’ talking about Benjamin. Birthday celebrations and cake… chocolate again. I can’t believe this man we need some rules and discipline… I mean I love breaking the rules but not if it’s going to interfere with the amazing bliss you’re gonna feel. Debrief. Read.

Monday 23/08/2010 – Wake late. Oh man totally forgot to add the other mornings when my ankle was twisted the swelling was like a golf ball. Then the other bit was Suresh was amazing not only would he wait for me to go for yoga and short Kriya every morning but he was amazing with the kids and strict when needed to be. I was not please with the other two as just like the kids making their own groups these two did the same and they were more into each other than helping with the kids. It seriously felt like they didn’t exist. Sorry but thats the facts! I guess coz they were older ladies or … I don’t know just need to give myself a good excuse for why they were so passive! And today is the day I needed them most. Anyway back to the day. Miss yoga and just do Kriya and usual and I kept going into amazing trances… coz of my ankle I was sitting on a chair and would just about catch myself every time I was about to flop. Now at brekkie another thing I’d do with the kids and steal food of their plate if they were not alert or make them get me stuff or even not take too much on my plate and finish whoever couldn’t finish theirs. This time I think I wanted cocopops and was making Thomas (the cutest kid on the course) do it for me. He got up from the chair and he’s like I’m not gonna be here to do this for you all the time, you have to grow up some time! Man he was too cool… he’s from France too so we’d talk French and he’s pretty gangsta man. His mom told me the girls couldn’t make it this year but they say hi and I was like oh please talk to me some more, her accent was mesmerising. Prep for the play. And I’m even giving the lady assistants eyes to help me but they’re just AHHHHHHHH…. See I was producer of the play and getting these guys to focus for even a minute was good enough but I needed help to maintain the ones that calmed down so we could carry on. The YES! crew invite us to join them but before that we do my groups chart. Yes! crew have their own building and they don’t even join the rest for satsang… they do their own thing man. We learnt something like rocks, paper and scissors from them which was giants, wizards and elves. Play splat with them. Yes! go back while we play the 3 legged race. The cutest couple were Thomas and Priyanka coz they were the smallest and I was teaching them the trick and they’re the only ones that got it asap. Lunch. Rehearse play. Go to old peoples home to do the play, Sun salutations and sing… OH YEAH… sing! Trisha taught the kids an Italian number while I got to teach them Kalinka, a Russian number and the russian leg kicking dance. I was so jazzed about that. Get back to class and do the cut the past and shut the future process. In a way the future is more a sneaky way to tell their parents to behave themselves and sometimes parents will shout at kids and say ‘you always leave a mess’ when they should not turn it into an always thing if you know what I mean. Art Excel game which is more like British bulldog. Ben won… at one point we were trying to get Harrison and I didn’t even realise the way I’d caught him I was actually choking him. Sorry :oS. Rehearse but it’s getting crazy man and Harrison was doing his usual getting violent with folks… and with him and Ryan it was more of an alpha male thing as Ryan knew the stuff and was good at it coz of last year. This time round Ryan wasn’t having it and had to show Harrison who the boss was… I was pulling Harrison off and Su had Ryan but Ryan’s feet were closer to us and he roundhoused Harrison soooooo hard… we thought Harrison’s head would do an Exorcist on us… total silence! The only time I’ve seen a kick like that is with Yoshimitsu on Tekken. After that the other 2 brothers stuck around with Ryan and Ben was even like you’re the coolest Ryan. While Aarjav and his bro Avik stuck with Harrison and kinda entertained Harrison’s behaviour. I wasn’t surprised about Aarjav that way and it was so hard to tell the parents he was a good boy when I wanted to tell them the truth but in the end Su is the head teach and I didn’t want my say to clash with hers. I just feel for Harrison’s mom coz she was on silence and had to break it. Harrison had this attention grabbing down so well he had 6 adults giving him all the attention he wanted for a few hours and when he was fed up he was like ‘you may go now’. Anyway after a while Ryan and Harrison are buds playing sport again. Rehearse. Dinner.

Take props and costumes in the Sri Sri Yoga room and face paint kids. Chill and mess around. Oh and while we were deciding what else to present to the rest of the people there Thomas does these amazing stunts on the diabolo… check out the vid… only way to explain it. I want a kid like that! While Ryan did the caterpillar… he’s pretty good at breakdance. It’s show time so we join the rest for satsang and can’t remember the order … it was something like do a song, Thomas does his diabolo thing, do the play. Now I was backstage trying to keep things in order and all the boys were trippin over Priyanka… thing is she liked the attention. See she plays the Dukes wife and Ryan the duke and they had romantic innuendo going on too. At one point Priyanka was like she has feelings for me and I was like hey I have feelings for me too! Anyway so while these guys were going nuts back stage I had to keep them away from her and at the same time keep the cast ready for their time on stage. Then we do the Italian song and my Russian Kalinka song… I got to make the adults dance too and it gets faster and harder as the dance carries on but the adults were such good sports lol. More chocolate cake.

Debrief in Debbie’s… man she had a room and a half… since it was a girls school we got the girls rooms which were pretty big and had like 3 spare beds and what not but Debbie’s looked like a teacher room with micro, oven, tv, kettle… basically a house in the building! Talk and we were told Carolina donated her money so that some of the kids could do the course for free. Props! And Debbie describes her as a blond Angelina Jolie too! Guruji has agreed for the course fees to be reduced for ART Excel. Just hope UK Board hook it up. Pack and chat with Suresh… he shows me a vid of Guruji’s visit with someone in MTV and Guruji is shooting at someone with something like giant paintballs and then goes for a ride in a Smart car version of a Formula 1. And in the end the driver is stuck with his seatbelt so Guruji’s like here let me release you and frees the guy. Might put it up on here.

Tuesday 24/08/2010 – Man there was this white pigeon or dove thing just chillin with eyes closed so I thought I’d go chill with it and it didn’t even wake up or anything so I started petting it and it didn’t realise till after a while, woke up and just tried to walk away a few steps to avoid my hand so I moved closer and it just wont run away or fly away… ended up hiding inside a bush. That was yesterday… today tried to wake it up and poor thing just stayed still. RIP white pigeon dove thing. Anyway so Soham and Vatsal hook me up with a mocha latte. Simona came over to our class to play the violin for the kids… can’t believe some of the kids remembered from last year that the string thing was made from horse hair. And this other dude did some acting thing… wasn’t paying attention and didn’t even get to take vids or pics coz I was helping with the charts that were still left to do. Parents come over to see what we’ve been teaching the kids and show that youtube of when the kid silenced the world. Parents leave, do the painting meditation and this time we got to do our own drawings or paintings too. Around this time I tell Ria what I do and she was so interested and kept asking me or telling me what she does and how she takes pictures of her sis and edits them etc… I was like wow you sound like you really enjoy it so keep doing it. If you were in London I’d have talked to your folks about giving you Photoshop lessons. Snacks and drinks. Now everyday the school staff would bring like 2 crates of fruit with cereal bars and 4 packs of juice. But no one was having it apart from me… I know it was for the students but they weren’t having it and one of my rules is ‘be shameless when it comes to food’. So my pockets always had cereal bars and well I was drinking enough water but whenever I got bored … there was the juice! ;o) Play heroes and compliments but some of the kids weren’t having it… by the end of it I realised one of the boys that had stayed in the background was really the best one in the class, so big up Peter. I mean Ryan was my inside man this year since Soham moved to Yes! and Thomas my stepson :oP Lunch. Goodbyes. Get props from Ben, Greg and Harrison’s mom, Thomas’ mom, Timin and Shaan’s pops and Priyanka’s mom. It was so weird coz when we start the course we have to sign this crap about not being alone with kids without parents around or something and no holding them so I guess the others were being cautious but I didn’t care man… kids need as much affection, love and nurturing as they can get. Like those few moments when the shy ones get out of their shell… it’s so amazing to see them blossom and you need to be off your guard for that to happen because thats the best time to remind them how much they can shine. I remember Moksha (already an amazing name) was shy and even though she made friends easily she was different. Her accent and pronunciations and in a way buggin with repeating the same stuff or questions but when she let her guard down one lunch time I told her to be aware of how great she’s feeling at that moment and not to let the kids bug her out. Kids can be brutally honest and sometimes it gets much right but use that same freedom they’re using to be you kinda thing. Ok I’ll stop ranting.

Help Katie pack… I’ll be going back to hers for the Eternity Process since we didn’t get to do it there. Beata and Miho will be following us and they get some water from the source. Drop by organic food shop and Katie is hungry as hell. I was just plain tired. Along the way back some weird stuff happened and I’m sure Katie was doing it. See when I sleep sometimes I jerk but just lil ones here and there. Then I did the Sahaj Samadhi meditation with Su and during the meditation I got big jerks and Su explained that impressions were being released. So I got used to that… but in the car this time round I was getting JERKS! Like such gangsta spasms my hands nearly hit the roof of the car. More than twice this happened so I kinda freaked out and stayed awake. I don’t even know why I freaked out coz releasing impressions is a good thing. Aaaaanywho… Get to Katie’s and what a magical place. Again part of me freaked out coz add this up… a lovely charming sweatheart of a lady living in the country side in a very old but well maintain house, amazingly big garden that joins onto a field with sheep etc. You know those magical Narnia kinda stories where you’re so charmed by everything it feels like too good to be true and imagine you’re gonna be locked up any second so that you can be fed to be plumped up just so you can be the meal (for those that don’t get it … Hansel and Gretle). So yeah that flashed my mind for a second but then again I was charmed by the plums and berries and apples and artichokes growing in her garden. Swing bench. Forget all that… I didn’t even know how gorgeous an artichoke flower looks. You know me and trees so the trees def did it for me… and there was this one tree that had spikes but the spikes on the end of each stem changes colour (pics will tell a better story). Su comes over to leave her bike and stuff while she’s in Italy. We have dinner and stories etc. Su leaves and Gordon starts playing guitar. We start having a satsang and Katie gives us pots, pans, spoons etc to play percussion. Have so much fun and laughs. Crazy dreams. Note: I have a feeling some folks have been doing long Kriya more than once a week, the symptoms are there! Lol.

Wednesday 25/08/2010 – Wake up and Katie and Beata gang up on me about the walls I’ve put up and … well the rest is for my private notes ;oP but wow Beata read my energy so well she even said stuff I’ve thought about and discussed only with Twinx, Taz and Nikita. We decide I was not ready for the Eternity Process till after I get regular with my short Kriya and instead Beata works on me with some other stuff and wow she pinched the hell out of the flesh on my lower back… I don’t know what she did but she’s like after I’ve finished stay lying down for a while and get up when you’re ready… I was not ready for a longgg time man… and after that as I type I’m still in a bit of a daze. Then again the stuff she told me kinda blew my mind too. And she kept wishing me happy birthday so I guess it was like a rebirth or something? Hell to celebrate that change I was planning on chopping my hair off but I still have plans for that. Oh and speaking of change, you know how you see signs… check this out… my main man Naruto changes the world in the episode that will be out tomorrow. Was listening to Eminem’s new album and he’s flipped the script on us too which was really nice … hell he’s even got a song called Going Through Changes or something like that. This book I’ve been reading has been an answer to the questions I’ve had and about crazy changes or like the knowledge in there was just so timely it was like…. wow. Anyway so since I’ve been good for these days I’ve decided to carry on with practices and see how much longer I can stop meat this year. I just hate telling folks I’ve stopped coz thats right about the time when I start again kinda thing and … I better finish this blog coz it’s getting late.

So … next …. Katie had been telling me about Biodynamics which is a step higher than organic food and stuff… I’ll try post that next to this post so you can check it out. Took info on other stuff like why Ghee is so good etc. Her area has a few places that do that, her area has a lot of Scientolog-ists too. So get back to hers after shopping at one of these places. I see a deer in the back and try to get a pic of it but I have a face and they recognise that as a threat I guess. Ayurvedic cooking. Katie does my numerology and again another sign. Not only that but the repeating numbers. 17.17, 8.8. Over heard Gordon on the phone talking about Prison SMART and that’s something I wanted to get into and since Viv started work in prisons I was just discussing that with him the week before! Catch the train to London, back in the crowd and city life and noise at home. Still so dazed it didn’t matter. Hell all I did tomorrow was float with a weird headache spending time with my lappy. Note: I’m starting to like the tense of the last sentence as I’m writing about tomorrow which would in this current moment be the past. Gotta explore that ;o) Jai Gurudev.

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog’s owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn’t do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker ‘s family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker’s transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker’s Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.
Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ”I know why.”

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I’d never heard a more comforting explanation. It has changed the way I try and live.

He said,”People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life — like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?”
The Six-year-old continued,”Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as long.”

Live simply.

Care deeply.

Speak kindly.

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Be loyal.

Never pretend to be something you’re not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!

Love it! It has profound knowledge and looks at fear in different angles to show us how we can tackle it, dance with it and eventually take it to bed and bang it’s brains out so it can leave us to have a cigarette. (Sorry, been off cigarettes for a while and feel like having one). Like all good knowledge Susan gives us a small line or two at a time and expounds on it. E.g. in the first chapter I found the best knowledge in the whole book and all that line said was… I CAN’T HANDLE IT. Then she’ll go on to why our fears are really just the thought of us not being able to handle a situation. Below are some of the lines or angles on what she shares in the book. I wont give too much away mostly for legal reasons :os but yeah… another one is about our loved ones being so caring they install that fear in us kinda thing and I might even put up my own bicycle story in a separate post as an example. On a final note she kind of sells herself short in the book by first giving these small points and then saying things like ‘I know you’re probably not juming up and down about it’. Well of course I’m not how else am I going to carry on reading… and I’m not the exercycle anyway!

So there’s the snippets of the knowledge…
- Fear is you thinking you can’t handle it.
- Fear will never go away as long as you continue to grow so go and do what you fear coz not only are you going to experience fear on unfamiliar but so is everybody. Pushing through it is easier than living with the fear of helplessness.
- She’s got this table where you can either choose Pain or Power. With pain comes helplessness, depression, paralysis and with power comes choice, excitement, action. Stuff like even your working is important like if you say I can’t it comes from pain, I won’t comes from power.
- Taking responsibility for everything. Don’t blame others, don’t blame yourself, knowing when you’re not taking resonsibility, handleing your ‘chatterbox’, being aware of payoffs (like staying in a situation coz you’re comfortable with the rut and know how to handle it even if it’s drama), knowing there is more than one choice in any situation.
- Affirmations and positive thinking and one that I’ve stuck to since I came to London… avoiding people that make you feel like you’re not capable of things. And how to handle these people if they’re loved ones.
- Seeing every situation as a win-win. A great example – a plane in the air is never on course till when it gets closer to the landing strip.
- Filling your life with lots of things so your focus is not only on one thing like a relationship coz if that ends you’ll feel empty and useless kinda thing. Of course allocate time for different stuff and give it your 100% when you’re focusing on that.
- Genuine giving in love and not in expectation of getting.
- Surrounding yourself with people you want to be like.
- She gets into her version of spirituality and some of the knowledge there too is amazing! And some cool visualization/self-hypnosis thing.

Big up Ameet for lending me the book… I’ve had .pdfs of these selfhelp books but not been bothered since I don’t like reading on the comp and don’t wanna waste paper…. that Kindle’s calling.

Contents
INTRODUCTION – Opening the Door
1 – What Are You Afriad of … and Why?
2 – Can’t You Make It Go Away?
3 – From Pain to Power
4 – Whether You Want It or Not … It’s Yours
5 – Pollyanna Rides Again
6 – When “They” Don’t Want You to Grow
7 – How to Make a No-Lose Decision
8 – How Whole Is Your “Whole Life”?
9 – Just Nod Your Head – Say “Yes!”
10 – Choosing Love and Trust
11 – Filling the Inner Void
12 – There Is Plenty of Time
BIBLIOGRAPHY
OTHER RESOURCES
EXTRACTS FROM READERS’ LETTERS