Weekend TEFL Coursebook from i-to-i – May 2011
So I did this course around May 2011 and mostly to have a backup plan for my move to Poland. I was doing my regular vairagya / voluntary simplicity / clearing up and came across this lovely book. Screenshots below are for personal use as tenses are very confusing. The course was great and we were given so many resources. The course mates I’ve kept in touch with seem to be on their lovely journey. I usually have a journal entry on my blog or private files but cannot find the TEFL adventure to link it.
Table of Contents
Introduction to the Weekend TEFL Course
Module One: Teaching Language Structures to Our Students
Introductions and warmers
Getting to know one another
Interactive practice activities
Module Two: Eliciting the Target Language
How a teacher elicits
Understanding the importance of using a target language
Module Three: Arranging Your Class
The fundamentals of classroom management
Keeping your students moving
Module Four: Introduction to Grammar Terminology
A quick introduction to grammar terminology
Running board activities
Module Five: A Foreign Language Lesson
The experience of learning a new language
Modelling the target language
Module Six: Using Classroom Props
Module Seven: Using Body Language to Teach
Module Eight: Using the Board
Writing structures and vocabulary
Module Nine: The Meanings and Functions of Language
Learning English through functions and meaning
Using different registers
Module Ten: Class Levels
Understanding the different levels of students
How to determine a student’s level
Looking at students’ contrasting abilities in writing and speaking
Module Eleven: Teaching Structure and Meaning
Teaching the meaning of structures
Asking concept questions
The importance of natural pronunciation
Highlighting the form of structures
Module Twelve: Practice Activities
How to plan and prepare practice activities in a lesson
Controlled practice v. free practice
Information gap activities
Module Thirteen: Planning a Lesson
Writing a grammar-based lesson plan
The PPP method
Module Fourteen: Teaching Practice #1
Preparing a lesson
Teaching a lesson
Receiving feedback from your peers and your tutor
Module Fifteen: Qualities of an EFL Teacher
What makes a good teacher?
How to use role-play in the classroom
Module Sixteen: The Sounds of English
Module Seventeen: Teaching the Four Skills
Module Eighteen: Using Music to Teach English
The pros and cons of using music
Module Nineteen: The Tenses of the English Language
The thirteen tense constructions in the English language
Looking at tense constructions in clauses
Labelling words in English structures
Module Twenty: Correcting Students’ Errors
Positive strategies of error correction
Correcting oral and written errors
Module Twenty-One: English Examinations
English exams commonly used around the world
Module Twenty-Two: Teaching Practice #2
Final teaching practice
Controlled and free practice
Module Twenty-Three: Finding Work
Working in the UK and abroad
Applying for a TEFL position
Books and websites
All human beings crave a certain level of safety, assurance and predictability in our lives, for this is the foundation of our most basic behaviour: survival. When things are VERY uncertain, we tend to be freaked out! Which causes us to reach for different vehicles of comfort such as friends/family, television, or alcohol. And once we’re at a level where we feel certain there are no more dangers, we can relax and actually focus on the other needs. So this is one spectrum where the need for certainty is entirely UNMET, hence causing nerve-wrecking stress and pain. Everyone requires different levels of certainty in their lives. Paras note: I know I need my routines and rituals like work, gym, meditation, service.
Another word for uncertainty is variety. We all need a change of scenery every now and then, watch a new movie, travel to a new country. For this is what makes life exciting because we DON’T know what to expect, but the uncertainty level is still tolerable enough that we know in the end the variety will bring us pleasure. Too much uncertainty will bring us fear, while not enough will cause boredom. So really the first two needs are pieces of the same pie, if my need for uncertainty is at 70%, then my need for certainty will only be at 30%. Paras note: I’m certain to cycling to and from work everyday but I can add variety by trying different routes, listening to different music or trying different speeds/gears/cadence. I’m certain my gym workout will have variety everyday.
Deep down, we all need to feel that we are important, unique, and special, and this can be manifested in many ways. One vehicle for people is by becoming high achiever, because having those distinctions makes people feel important. But along the need for importance, a poor vehicle some people use is by putting down other, for that makes them feel like they are better than another. Another popular vehicle is acting/dressing in a eccentric way, many people take pride in being different and unique for that’s what fulfills their need for significance. BUT if we strive for TOO much significance and uniqueness, we end up totally different than everyone else which violates our very next need.
We all strive for a level of connection with our peers, whether that be in terms of a friendship or intimate relationship. The core of all human connections are based on similarities or sameness with one another, but if we are too busy being significant we rarely feel connected or similar to someone else. Hence again, the need for significance and connection are sharing the same piece of the pie. If our need for connection is NOT being met, we feel alone and disjointed from people. But if it’s met entirely, we no longer feel different or unique from other, hence losing our own identity and violating our need for significance.
Everything is either growing or dying, there’s no in between. And human beings are no exception, we must feel like we are constantly growing in our lives. Many people’s goal is to reach a certain financial target, or style of life, but when they get there, they become stagnant. While others might envy what these people have or achieve, they themselves are unhappy because they’re not growing anymore. They’ve reached the plateau, and there are no more mountains to climb. But we all NEED something to strive for, something that’ll challenge us to grow and take our lives to the next level.
Aside from ourselves, we all desire to make a difference and contribute to the greater good. In essence, Philanthropy is a universal need for everyone, it DOESN’T depend on the person, for everything must serve a purpose in the big ecosystem. So we as human beings all have a deep desire to contribute outside of ourselves, whether that’s manifested in the friendship circle, community, society, or country as a whole.
Sometimes we do thinks like smoking to fulfil these needs so stopping smoking will be replaced with something else.
People will do more for someone they care about than they do for themselves.
Be a team player.
Find ways to do this is connect with the person you connect least with. (Talks about a few exercises to do)
Create magic moments with your team.
Take 1 hour a week for yourself.
Tony Robbins How to Rebuild a Broken Relationship
He loves her but doesn’t feel physically attracted to her. He wants to be free of pain of leaving or staying so doesn’t know what to do. It’s not just her physical appearance. He doesn’t feel like a man in the relationship as she’s got balls. He feels 5th, 6th, 7th after family and kids. So he buries himself in work. If they can’t succeed in making his woman happy, HE WILL LEAVE! He can’t live knowing that he’s not the most important person to her. He feels alone as she has her family as back up which she constantly uses to go to for her needs. He couldn’t be the man while the dad was alive and now that dad is not alive he has a chance but he’s not getting it.
She loves and over does. Has a sense of humour. She goes to family under pressure. She tries to find connection through kids, other family members and food. She gets help from her family and he’s emasculated. She uses her sense of humour to put him down. She dominates the conversation and holds on to it to get to him later or tries to control the conversation any way possible. Her father was a strong man and she played the perfect role as a strong man too. She is looked about to be the man, lift things etc. She shit tests him and when he failed she went masculine/defensive and pulled away and he pulled away.
6 Question to Understanding Relationship Needs
1. Who is taking certainty and significance? (She gets it from family and children, he gets it from threatening to leave)
2. How to lay down the weapons? (She uses humour and dominating conversation)
3. What (above 6) needs are not being met? When Certainty is above all else it makes the others hard to fulfil like Connection/Love, Growth, Contribution. If she switched her priority to be Connection/Love it would be much easier to fulfil the other needs. Change any digit in a phone number and you know what happens.
4. How are these needs being met elsewhere? When both partners are getting their needs met elsewhere, what are they to each other.
5. How can they give to each other? What can you give the other. Do they like words, gifts, touch? Do you know what to give? How often do you give it?
6. How can they commit to each other? Renewal of vows. Whats is the one thing I can commit to my partner, what do they want more than anything else?
– Find out your top 2 needs.
– How do you meet those needs? Work, home, friends, relatives, by yourself?
– What has to happen to feel they’re being met?
– How often does it have to happen and with whom?
– Are you more responsive to words, touch, visual cues, gifts, gestures?
– What could your partner do to meet your needs more regularly? Have you told them?
– At what level are you meeting your partners needs on a scale from 1 to 10.
– If you are not sure ask them ‘what has to happen for you to feel this need has been met?’.
– Which of these needs are being met by outside members? Who are they?
– Are you getting more significance, love or variety from others and is your partner jealous or displaced by this?
– Are you getting them met by someone critical or judgemental of your partner? If it is you need to correct it. Call that person and tell them you love them, happy with them and need each other. Observe their reaction.
3 Levels of Relationship
1 – Only their own needs met.
2 – Partners barter for needs.
3 – Partners put the others need first.
Tony Robbins – Heal your relationship no matter what
– While she remembers all the details he doesn’t.
– Everyone withholds in relationships but it has a detrimental effect. How much do you withhold, how often?
– All men want to make their woman happy but she’s constantly breaking him down using the past. No matter what he does it’s never good enough.
– If she doesn’t make him feel like a man, he will go and get it somewhere else. It’s not always sexual but he will find a way to get the energy he needs to survive as a man.
– He’s deadened because she’s sad all the time, no matter what he does it’s no use. In that case it’s better he stays at work or the bar or elsewhere.
– 67% of marriages end in US after 1993.
– She didn’t say anything about his needs, it was all about her.
– Stabbing a man will not make him want to work harder to be close to you?
– She wants attention ALL THE TIME! Men don’t have that much attention, she wants to talk about her problem but men think that means she wants to solve them. In that case it’s better he stays at work or the bar or elsewhere.
– (Time 52.50) Men and women have different attention styles. Men are hunters, they want to solve a problem, get it done and hopefully get some love and appreciation instead of nagging when they get back home. Things have changed now but not genetics. Men just want to know 2 things – WHATS THE POINT and HOW CAN I FIX IT. Women are gatherers who need to remember more detail, this berry was here and which one to pick etc. If it wasn’t for detail pick the wrong berry and you’ll die. Also process is very important to women. If you don’t cook this and that right then again it’ll be too acidic or you’ll die. That’s women’s conversation style – ‘The Meadow Report’. Every detail times 10. His wife does a perfect example. It’s fine when women do it to each other but not when they think their man are a hairy women who need the same Meadow Report because if a woman replied short and sweet like a man they don’t trust that woman. The Meadow Report doesn’t have any point while men are looking for the point so if you do have a point make sure you get it in the first few minutes.
– Women remember because they use both sides of the brain and connect emotions to everything.
– Anchor/reward him when he does things you like or want him to do. The more you do it the more he’ll want to please you. GET THIS THROUGH – HE ALWAYS WANTS TO PLEASE YOU! Even after watching a movie or something he picks he’ll looking for your approval so when you say you didn’t like something he wants to change the movie. THATS HOW MUCH HE WANTS TO PLEASE YOU!
– Women have a fear for their life every month while hardly any men do. Difference between hunter and gatherer. Women are looking for a man they can feel safe with. And men will take care of you no matter what if they don’t feel judged and criticised.
– Once she starts making him feel bad he’s going to beat himself up too and that gets destructive. That need to want to help and rescue will turn into suspicion and broken trust if she uses her pain/trouble to manipulate him.
– Cool thought: If a bone is broken and it fixes it will be stronger than before, if a client is upset and you fix it they will be an even better client. Same for relationships.
Steps to take:
1 – Both couples are accountable meaning not 50-50 but each side is 100% accountable. Take ownership, be honest about your mistakes, focus on what’s working and what you can do better.
2 – The 6 human needs. See above. How are you fulfilling all 6 in each other on a scale of 1 to 10.
3 – Create rituals of giving and receiving. You can take or request attention or you can give it. The problem is when you get addicted to getting attention through guilt and pain. It’s a low quality attention.
4 – Inspire trust in each other. When you feel the other has your best interest at heart. Learn each others communicate style and don’t make them feel bad. Hunters should bring home a small gift every now and then and the gatherer should show appreciation for the effort. Even if it’s something you don’t like appreciate that the hunter went and got something for them.
5 – Heal wounds and create passion. Everyone has flaws they avoid. They only heal with consistent love and acceptance.
”Bicycle” an 86 minute documentary, asks the question why is cycling and the bicycle back in fashion? The film, which is directed by BAFTA winning director and keen cyclist Michael B.Clifford tells the story of cycling in the land that invented the modern bicycle, it’s birth, decline and re birth from Victorian origins to today. The film weaves bicycle design, sport and transport through the retelling of some iconic stories and features interviews with notable contributors Sir Dave Brailsford, Gary Fisher, Chris Boardman, Ned Boulting, Sir Chris Hoy, Tracy Moseley, Mike Burrows and many more plus great archive, animation and music. “Bicycle” is a humorous, lyrical and warm reflection on the bicycle and cycling and its place in the British national psyche.
The Moneyless Manifesto: Live Well, Live Rich, Live Free by Mark Boyle
The Moneyless Man Interview – Living without Money and being off the grid
– We have come to believe that we need money, that we depend on it to survive. We believe that money provides for us when it is actually Nature. Even Adam Smith, the father of modern economics, said that “all money is a matter of belief”.
– He makes so many potent points and ways of alternate thinking. I mean there is just so much in such a small book! Ideas, resources, quotes. So far 2 pages are dedicated to other moneyless people and their blogs or books or clubs or whatever form of legacy they have left for others.
– How money started as something good and ended up ruining the world in more ways than just morality and environment.
– Excellent breakdown of how we are a part of a whole. The water in the stream is in a glass now and then goes in our bodies and makes part of us.
– Tribal people didn’t store or horde. Families spent real time with each other and had a sense of community.
– Money has made things cold and transactional. A doctor births the baby and accounts are squared and the relationship is over. And these days it’s just numbers on the screen.
– If you grow your own food you wouldn’t waste it. You need your own water you wouldn’t pollute it.
– Economy of Scales EOS – the more you produce the cheaper it costs to produce. It’s so efficient that the planet is being looted. You’re exchanging money with people you will never meet instead of supporting and connecting with the locals.
– Division of Labor DOL – Spending 40+ hours at a desk doing unfulfilling crap. Instead of having different needs and skills.
– Nappies: Most parents are aware that you can make reusable, washable cloth nappies. If these were used by everyone it would save 8 million nappies from being dumped in landfill every day (3 billion annually) in the UK alone, saving parents an average of £500 a year into the bargain. Yet there is an option that saves you both the bother and expense of making and using washable nappies. It is called Elimination Communication (EC), also known as Nappy Free Baby. This is a toilet training technique where a parent uses methods such as signals, cues and intuition to cope with a child’s toileting needs. This method’s ideal is to use no nappies whatsoever, but you may combine it with washable nappies when the situation requires it. Not only would the widespread use of EC take a big chunk out of our landfill sites, save all the energy and materials involved in producing nappies in the first place, and reduce the workload o f parents.
– A culture of scarcity that makes you worry about the other person breaking what you’ve loaned them, or not giving it back, leaving you feeling like the cheated one.
– Interview with Dr. Chris Johnstone about addiction. Connection of consumerism with tolerance.
– Once the land was free for all to roam. More recently, our land was held in common, for the commoners. Now it is owned by the few – 1% own 70% of the land.
– Suggests looking into Freemen when it comes to paying tax.
– Insurance in the old days used to be an understanding with locals who would help. Say like if something happened to your house, the neighbours would have the tools or know how to help.
– He created Freeconomy. You share your time, skills, knowledge for free. Update: The site has teamed up with Streetbank.
– Questions why a bird is free to live on land while we have to pay. Ideas and resources to live as free as possible.
– Indian flag wheel and Gandhi’s meaning of swadeshi. Mahatma Gandhi believed that true national independence would only be achieved through Swadeshi, which roughly translates as self-sufficiency. He believed that India would only truly earn political independence when it achieved economic independence. In order to do this, he encouraged the millions of Indians to start spinning their own cloth again and to stop buying it from industrial fabric centres such as those in Lancashire in England. This culminated in bonfires of Lancashire cloth lighting up the land as a powerful symbolic act. Therefore, the spinning wheel became the symbol of true political independence.
– If I were to create a flag for the planet, it would have a compost toilet on it. The flush toilet represents everything that is psychopathic about our current culture and mindset – we shit and piss into a life-giving liquid, spoiling it in the process, instead of using both of these potential resources (in different ways) to fertilise the soil which, in turn, makes the food that we eat more nutritious. Instead, we import polluting fertilisers from distant laboratories once we’ve finished polluting our waterways. Somehow we’ve managed to take a really beneficial resource for the soil and turn it into a major ecological problem. I urge you to ditch your flush toilet and install a compost loo as a symbolic and, dare I say it, spiritual act. It’s a no -brainer for anyone who wants to simultaneously stop polluting their source of life, drastically reduce their water consumption, and obtain a high quality organic.
– Given the tragic fact that every year in the UK, 3 million pheasants, 800,000 rabbits, 50,000 deer, squirrel and badgers, as well as 25,000 foxes are killed on our roads, (and extrapolating from these appalling statistics, whilst taking into account the differing size of the various animals and, for arguments sake, assuming that 50% of such animals are serviceable as food – i.e. avoiding the tabloid cliché that anyone who eats road kill ‘scrapes it off the tarmac’) then (when accounting for the differing number of servings from each animal) we’re looking at least 8,900,000 potential meals for the practical, discriminating and opportunist forager. Bon appétit!
– If you ever need glass jars or bottles of various shapes and sizes, just do the rounds of the recycling bins of some street in my area on the morning the recycling gets put out each week – you could start a jam factory from the amount of jars you can find during one morning’s stroll.
– Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you need to import lots of food stuffs into your own food system in order to preserve that which you grow or forage – people have been storing their food in the UK long before industrialised processes and fossil fuels came along. What is important is to slowly learn the skills you’ll need to preserve food – the best way to do this is by asking some of the elders of your community who hold so much unappreciated knowledge that needs to be tapped before it is lost.
– Skin is a little micro ecosystem in itself, and using soap is, in my book, on a par with cultivating the soil – I can see why people do it, but it’s the shenanigans of a people who don’t fully appreciate the intricacies of ecosystems, and the long-term damage we can do from what initially seems like harmless, innocent behaviour.
– Since I’ve been The Soapless Man for many years now, my overriding advice on most things in relation to hygiene is to use water and little else. There rarely is any need for anything more than that, with a few exceptions. When you use soap, you strip away much of the goodness and moisture as well as what we think of as ‘dirt’. The result being that we then become dependent on the same companies that sold us this moisture-robbing agent in the first place to put the moisture back in. They get to sell us two products when none were needed in the first place. People who don’t wash their hair for a few months are regularly quoted as saying their hair starts to clean itself. The same is true for skin. The main reason I can live without soap is that I generally eat a very healthy diet: wholegrains, fruits, nuts, vegetables and clean fresh water, the odd herb tea and little else. All organic and fresh. If you put good stuff in, what comes out will smell fine. If you put junk in, what comes out will smell like junk. It’s that simple.
– Bums and toilet paper: The first question you should ask yourself is – do you need it? I’ve no doubt that almost everyone will say yes! But many cultures use water to clean their bums, and considering we use water for all other parts of our body, there would seem to be a lot of logic in that. If you do prefer to have a wipe, then there are a number of options. First, you can approach your local newsagents and ask them if they’re happy for you to take a couple of copies of the previous day’s papers that they have to normally throw out. Similarly to your dishes, pine cones (choose the softer, decomposing ones from the forest floor) and big clumps of grass work well. Anything broad-leaved is good, though take care not to use any leaves that are toxic or poisonous to humans; a dock leaf will suffice, its anti-inflammatory qualities are particularly soothing if you’ve been on the curry the night before. If you are striving for Enlightenment and want to transcend the mundane material world, then use a bunch of stinging nettles and that will test your mettle. Surprisingly, smooth rocks with no sharp edges also work well, and the more porous the better. If you’re lucky enough to have moss at hand in an emergency situation, go for that. If it’s winter and all of the above are covered in a icy white blanket, then I’d advice using that blanket. Snow certainly isn’t the most appealing option at 6am on a winter’s morning, but that’s sometimes what living ecologically means, so man-up and deal with it! Remember: it’s only poo, and it came from you in the first place!
– Stay4Free is a project which allows you to have a house all to yourself. How it works is simple – you sign up, list both your home and your desired destinations,
and contact anyone on their database that could potentially fit the bill, requesting a house swap. If they fancy coming and spending some time in the part of the world your house is in, then you can agree dates and details between yourselves.
– Hushmail encrypts your email before it is sent so that nobody other than those who are the intended recipients can read it, after they themselves have decrypted it by one means or another. In Hushmail’s words, “a typical email message is no more secure than a holiday postcard sent through the public postal system”, whereas with their system it is more like “a letter in a sealed envelope”.
– Children learn best from practical involvement. Paras note: some squares don’t comprehend how true this is.
– Personal anecdote on his vasectomy and going the natural way to heal himself from complications.
– Medicinal plants work on the body in four main ways, via stimulation, relaxation, nutrition and elimination.
– Using roadkill buckskin is actually ‘more vegan’ than buying natural fibre clothing that has come from the global industrial-scale economy. Vegans who think that buying cotton and other pesticide-ridden fibres produced on land that has, first, been relegated from Wild to agriculturally managed land before, subsequently, being shipped around the world using fossil fuels (which have been extracted in ways that inevitably destroys huge swaths of habitat and all that once lived in it – the Gulf of Mexico being but one example), are deluding themselves to some extent about how ‘vegan’ their lifestyles really are. Pesticides are not vegan, the clue is in the name. Neither are fossil fuels.
– POP Model example – Level 1 (100% local gift economy): Walking barefoot, connecting with the earth beneath my feet. Level 2: Walking in shoes I made myself (or were unconditionally gifted to me) from local materials. Level 3: Walking in shoes I bartered for, which were made from local materials. Level 4: Walking in trainers made in a Chinese factory. Level 5: Cycling on an industrial scale bicycle. Level 6: (100% global monetary economy): Driving a hybrid car.
– As Epicurus once pointed out, there are two ways of getting rich: increasing your financial wealth, or decreasing your desires.
Note: Bhavna made a good point about the author’s profits from book sales and how that is the opposite of being Moneyless. He might be gifting it or contributing it in some way. Update: Just found a site where the book is made free online and looks like you can order a copy too. http://www.moneylessmanifesto.org/why-free/
Table of Contents – with subtitles to reduce notes
– Foreword by Charles Eisenstein
A reluctant author
All art is propaganda
1. The Money Delusion
Moneyless philosophy and the delusion of self
Time isn’t money
Real community requires interdependency
Our disconnection from what we consume
The Economies of Scale (EOS) married to money
The Division of Labour (DOL) married to money
Money causes waste
Gross inequality through the storing of value
Prostitution is to sex what buying and selling is to giving and receiving
Time to choose a new story?
2. The Moneyless Menu
WHAT IS A MONEYLESS ECONOMY?
The moneyless economy defined
The gift economy
THE GIFT ECONOMY IN ACTION
The 100% local economy
The resource-based economy (RBE)
3. The POP model
HOW IT WORKS
Moneyless women and men
4. Challenges and transitional Strategies
Current human culture
Addiction to industrialisation
Planning permission for low / zero impact living
Council tax – the tax on being alive
Being a parent
5. Labour and Materials
Other skillsharing schemes
The art of flint knapping
Freecycle and Freegle
Sharing – not giving away – your stuff
Books and paper
Paper and pens
Tools, gadgets and equipment
Five things to do with a pallet
Land of the free
Windowsills and small spaces
WWOOFing (World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms)
Turning urban wastelands into growing spaces
Create an inspiring vision and pursue it passionately
EMBERCOMBE – THE STORY OF ITS CREATION
Join an established community
PERMACULTURE AND RELOCALISATION
Campaigning for realistic land reform
House – and boat-sitting
Cheap (or potentially free) to build, free to run houses
Passive solar designs
Earth bag construction
Straw bale homes and guest houses
COMPOST: ONE MAN’S SHIT IS ANOTHER MAN’S FERTILISER
8. Food and Water
Wild food foraging
WILD PROTEIN: LEAF CURD AND ROADKILL
How to make leaf curd
How to store and use the curd
Wild food and roadkill
Seed saving and swapping
Closed loop systems
HOMEMADE NATURAL, ORGANIC PESTICIDES, FERTILISERS AND PLANT AND SOIL ENHANCERS
AGROFORESTRY: ESSENTIAL FOR A SUSTAINABLE FUTURE
THE NO DIG (NO-TILL) METHOD
Storing your produce
Community orchards and the Abundance project
Water wells and bore holes
Springs, streams and rivers
Moisturisers and toners
Bums and toilet paper
Teeth and mouth
CLEANING USING 100% LOCAL INGREDIENTS
10. Transport and Holiday accommodation
AN ODE TO WALKING BAREFOOT
RULES OF THE ROAD
Bicycles bits and pieces
Accommodation when you get there
Long-term free accommodation
11. Living Off-grid
Jumpers (and long johns)
Gas bottle wood-burner
Sources of wood
THE FIREWOOD POEM
Open source ecology
OPEN SOURCE TECHNOLOGIES AND FREE COMMUNICATION
Computers, mobile phones and other communication devices
OpenOffice and LibreOffice
DuckDuckgo and Startpage
EDUCATION FOR A NON-MONETARY ECONOMY
THE OPTION OF HOME EDUCATING
How does it work?
How do your children mix and make friends?
What about cost?
What happens as they get older?
A different understanding
FREESKILLING IN PRACTICE: SOURDOUGH BREAD
Other projects and ideas
The Barefoot College
Other alternative schools
EDUCATION IN A GIFT WORLD
13. Health and Sex
A personal anecdote
HEALTH OF THE EGOCENTRIC AND HOLISTIC SELVES
At what point do we stop?
Localised healthcare options
Elder – Sambucus nigra
Nettle – Urtica spp.
Dandelion – Taraxacum officinalis
Pot Marigold – Calendula officinalis
Garlic – Allium spp.
Peppermint – Mentha spp.
Thyme – Thymus spp.
Chamomile – Matricaria recutica
A selection of local remedies
Migraines and headaches
Other local forms of healthcare
Plasters for cuts
SPEAKING OF SEX
A SIMPLE CHOICE
14. Clothing and Bedding
Short-term clothing solutions
Clothes swapping and sharing evenings
Make do and mend
Long-term clothing solution
Hemp and Nettles
Braintanned roadkill buckskin
Peg loomed woollen underblankets
Learn to play (and make) an instrument
SOUNDS FROM THE UNCIVILISED
Painting, parties and booze
LOCAL BOOZE FOR FREE
Other fun stufff
Music, comedy and performance
FREE YOURSELF FROM YOUR MONETARY MASTERS
A few people have told me that I’m not an introvert and that I’m some kind of mix. All I want to say is that I appreciate the extroverts who have insisted I join them in social activities. Most of the time I’ve enjoyed myself. As for the ones I insist on not joining … it is because of the energy drain. Things like drinking, talking about others, doing the same thing, not expanding or just tooo many words and not enough peace are the big drains.
Since these articles and pictures hit the nail on the head perfectly I will just summarise the links.
The key to making small talk more useful and less draining is to steer the conversation toward topics that are actually interesting (the sooner the better)—something that will fill our battery, not drain it. So what do introverts like talking about? Ideas, ideas, ideas.
Helgoe writes in Introvert Power,
“Introverts are energized and excited by ideas. Simply talking about people, what they do and who they know, is noise for the introvert. He’ll be looking between the lines for some meaning, and this can be hard work! Before long, he’ll be looking for a way out of the conversation.”
Paras note: And don’t be an askhole. More statements please. Recently I noticed jokes that are not creative have the same effect as too many questions.
– Most common desire was to eat and sleep. Then sex.
– Carnegie’s Win Friends and Influence People book spent 8 pages on explaining to people how to have that winning smile. Passive bashing of similar books.
– Marshmallow experiment. Successful ones managed to distract themselves for 15 minutes to get another marshmallow. The ones that failed seemed to get in more trouble. The ones with more willpower had higher salaries, more points, better physical health, less issues with drug abuse, etc. So basically self-control in early age showed lots of good things.
– Amanda Palmer’s story of not breaking character by not drinking coffee and other practices for years. She only broke if a couple of times or so. 90 mins x 2 a day.
– Don’t think of a white bear and the monkey mind experiments. EEG experiments.
– Ago-depletion makes a big difference. Fatigue, tired, negative. Signal are things like reacting more sad to sad movies, ice cold water felt more painful, after eating one cookie there was a stronger craving. So look for a change in your feelings about these things. During withdrawal, the recovering addict is using so much willpower to break the habit that it’s likely to be a time of intense, prolonged ego depletion, and that very state will make the person feel the desire for the drug all the more strongly. It’s no wonder relapses are so common and addicts feel so weird when they quit.
– How during exams students would lose this ego. They’d increase their smoking, drinking, shopping, being messy etc. More coffee, less exercise.
– Beeper study: The more willpower expended, the more likely they were to yield to the next temptation. Cash rewards did boost willpower reserves but if it boosts it too much they get used up fast and don’t make it to the finish line if that makes sense.
– Two main points. 1 – You have a finite amount of willpower that becomes depleted as you use it. 2 – You use the same stock of willpower for all manner of tasks.
– 4 uses of willpower – 1 – Control of thoughts. 2 – Emotional control. 3 – Impulse control. 4 – Performance control.
– Focus on one project at a time! Don’t make a long list especially after new years! You will lose.
– Glucose and self-control are connected. Hypoglycaemia was connected to criminals and violent people or such activities. The food gets converted to glucose but does not get absorbed into the body. Surplus of glucose is like lots of firewood but no matches. If it’s high enough it’s known as diabetes. If students were given a healthy snack in the middle they’ll be less rambunctious. Dog experiment where sugar drinks restored their willpower.
– Women are less likely than men to suffer from lapses of self-control but are affected most during the luteal phase of their PMS cycle. It occurs after ovulation (when the ovaries release an egg) and before the period starts. But they are less likely to become criminals or addicts.
– Always eat well or have enough glucose before dealing with things that need willpower. Even sugar tablets have helped reduce the need for cigarettes. Eat foods with low glycemic index.
– Driving with a bad cold is worse than driving intoxicated. If your child has a cold before an SAT test… reschedule. When you’re tired sleep as you’ll end up with less self-control, do more unethical things, etc!
– Even God had to breakdown the creation of the world into daily tasks. But his list he finished and the final task was rest. Our lists keep growing.
– Set a clear goal. We set too many. There are 3 consequences of existing goals.
a) Worrying a lot, over thinking.
b) Get less done, procrastination.
c) Health is affected. More physical, mental issues and anxiety.
– Experiments of people with self-control and addicts. Fast reward, their long term stories were just 9 days compared to 4 years of folks with better self-control. Ignoring long-term goals are not good both physically and fiscally.
– Debate of which is better Proximal/Short term goals vs. Distal/Long term goals.
– Monthly planning/goal setting is best. Daily is time consuming, lacks flexibility and with so many changes everyday it can get frustrating.
– How Drew Carey called up Dave Allen author of Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity and hired his services … because he’s rich! Dave’s desk is complete absence of paperwork. Even the trays especially the inbox. Done, delegated, dropped or differed. I will be going through this book soon so you can read the notes there. Just do a search or click if the link is available.
– Zeigarnik Effect: Incomplete tasks and goals continue to pop in ones mind. Funny enough if you stop a song halfway your mind keeps thinking of it like it’s an incomplete task. So that’s why it’s stuck in my head! Which is why bad songs get stuck in our head.
– Grrrr. These books and their this study showed this but then that study negated it with this experiment and that experiment hypothesised … JUST GET TO THE POINT! Rant over. I’ll skip over the countless experiments mentioned.
– Mess is good but one mess at a time. Even if it’s getting cat food put it on a list!
– Marathon shopping depletes willpower. Bridal registry helps because it’s registered and things are in order.
– If you have a court case and it’s later in the day … bad news. Judges willpower and decision making will be depleted.
– When you have too much choice you get too picky and wait for something better. Shopping is the opposite, you deplete quickly so sellers market big things first and then towards the end save the impulse buys. How males lose their sense of priority and money when it comes to women.
– Self-awareness also plays a big part. Experiment where kids took more than one Halloween candy when the mirror was not facing them. People getting drunk to do all sorts of stupid things. 2 Step to improve this is 1. Setting a goal and 2. Monitoring your behaviour.
– Public info is also more important which is why all these fitness apps work so well.
– David Blaine’s doing all sorts of weird things so that he became an endurance artist.
– Sitting in good posture and upright helped lots of things.
– Many lefties are fairly ambidextrous.
– Exercises are like using proper words instead of yeah, nah and swearing. Exercise resisting to say them will grow the muscle.
– Exercise increases mental stamina and improved other aspects of life like studies, saving, less smoking and drinking, more chores, less junk food. Even though sometimes working out would mean eating more junk food.
– For men ‘oh heat’, will power is really low. This is where BBC (Big Brandon Carter of YouTube fame) talked about how he masturbates before making choices or how he recommended doing that when you start acting crazy.
– Use pre-commitment to stop you from getting into the bad habits. Making cash punishments help a lot and the more the money the more the success.
– Self-forgetfulness is another technique like how nurses distract you with other stuff and avoid using pain words.
– Talks about how prayer worked for non-believing Eric Clapton and Mary Karr. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar has also talked about how to make thing sacred so you honour it more.
– Teenagers risk a hell of a lot to get social acceptance and do it in a cool way.
– The ones who were better at getting support from other people ended up abstaining more frequently and doing less overall drinking. The barbecue law is where you drink with your mates and risk offending people if not, so alcoholics need the same kind of peer pressure in reverse. Religious people are less likely to get into the bad things and misfortunes come to them.
– Bright Lines: These are clear, simple, unambiguous rules. And if you believe that the rule is sacred—a commandment from God, the unquestionable law of a higher power—then it becomes an especially bright line.
– Self-esteem: Grades in 10th grade predicted self-esteem in 12th grade but not vice-versa.
– Narcissists: They need adulation and admiration but don’t require to be liked. Good first impressions but don’t wear well. They are everyone’s favourite person but only during the first few meetings and then slip to the bottom of the rankings. Recently it has risen with USA youth and even their songs full of I and me. (Paras note: One of the reasons I got bored of hip-hop). The exception is in Asian where it doesn’t show up because of good discipline and self-control.
– Confucian concepts of chiao shun, which means “to train,” and guan, which means both “to govern” and “to love.” Chinese parents have two things over their Western counterparts: (1) higher dreams for their children, and (2) higher regard for their children in the sense of knowing how much they can take. Chua’s basic strategies—set clear goals, enforce rules, punish failure, reward excellence.
– The punishment has to be closer to the incident! A relaxed but stern word or two would be the best way to go. Don’t ‘let this one go’ too much or too early.
– Ferber method, or Ferberization, is a technique invented by Dr. Richard Ferber to solve infant sleep problems. It involves “baby-training” children to self-soothe by allowing the child to cry for a predetermined amount of time before receiving external comfort. In this method both child and adult are happier in the long term. Children need and want clear rules and they need to know and understand them. Asking them what goals they have is good too as you can direct them accordingly.
– Money for grades is controversial but it works in the long term. Society will be doing it to them in future anyway.
– Children raised by single parents tend not to do as well in life as children who grow up with two parents. A lack of adult supervision during the teenage years turned out to be one of the strongest predictors of criminal behaviour. When parents keep tabs on where their children are, what they do, and whom they associate with, the children are much less likely to use illegal drugs than when parents keep fewer close tabs. Anything that forces children to exercise their self-control muscle can be helpful: taking music lessons, memorizing poems, saying prayers, minding their table manners, avoiding the use of profanity, writing thank-you notes.
– Most children aren’t being hurt by playing video games, and that they can derive some of the same benefits from the games as from practicing music, playing sports, or pursuing other passions that require discipline. Earn respect through their accomplishments. To acquire skills, they fail over and over.
– 3 Discipline to lose weight: 1. Never go on a diet. 2. Never vow to give up chocolate or any other food. 3. Whether you’re judging yourself or judging others, never equate being overweight with having weak willpower.
– It’s better to make gradual changes because intense diets makes the body hold on to fat thinking there is a famine.
– Conterregulatory eating: Dieters have a fixed target in mind for their maximum daily calories, and when they exceed it for some unexpected reason, they regard their diet as blown for the day.
– Trying to hide your feelings while watching a movie drains your willpower, rendering you more likely to overeat later on in a separate, ostensibly unrelated context.
– Nutritional catch-22: 1. In order not to eat, a dieter needs willpower. 2. In order to have willpower, a dieter needs to eat.
– Plan for battle in losing weight: Things like not keeping sweets out and visible, brushing teeth early before bed to stop from late night snacking. Using techniques like ‘if this, then that’. There is a connection with obese people clustering together like the story of how Oprah lost her overweight friends when she lost her weight. Weighing yourself everyday helps more than weekly. Prisoners gain more weight because they don’t wear tight fitting clothes or belts so they can’t gauge it. Eating in front of the TV encourages snacking as you’re not paying attention. It’s better saying I’ll eat it later instead of never.
– Procrastination: They are healthier overall but the closer they reach the deadline the more health issues they had so it cancels out!
– See last chapter title under Conclusion. Willpower 101 for a quick summary.
– The Planning fallacy: Late and over budget is the norm.
The Decline of the Will
The Comeback of the Will
Evolution and Etiquette
Why Will Yourself to Read This?
1. Is willpower more than a metaphor?
The Radish Experiment
Name That Feeling
The Mystery of the Dirty Socks
Lessons from the Street and the Lab
2. Where does the power in willpower come from?
Eat Your Way to Willpower
3. A brief history of the to-do list, from god to Drew Carey
Fuzzy Versus Fussy
Drew Carey’s Dream In-Box
The Zeigarnik Effect
4. Decision fatigue
Crossing the Rubicon
The Judge’s Dilemma (and the Prisoner’s Distress)
Choose Your Prize
5. Where have all the dollars gone? The quantified self knows
I’m Self-aware, Therefore I . . . ?
The Quantified Self
6. Can willpower be strengthened? (Preferably without feeling David Blaine’s pain)
From Strength to More Strength
The Toughest Stunt of All
7. Outsmarting yourself in the heart of darkness
The Empathy Gap
The Ties That Bind
The Brain on Autopilot
But Enough About Me
8. Did a higher power help Eric Clapton and Mary Karr stop drinking?
The Mystery of AA
Heaven (like Hell) Is Other People
9. Raising strong children: self-esteem vs. self-control
From Self-esteem to Narcissism
Nanny Deb and the Triplets
Rules for Babies and Vampires
Playing to Win
10. The perfect storm of dieting
The What-the-Hell Effect
The Dieter’s Catch-22
Planning for Battle
Let Me Count the Weighs (and the Calories)
Never Say Never
Conclusion : The future of willpower: more gain, less strain (as long as you don’t procrastinate
The Deadline Test
Willpower 101, First Lesson: Know Your Limits
Watch for Symptoms
Pick Your Battles
Make a To-Do List—or at Least a To-Don’t List
Beware the Planning Fallacy
Don’t Forget the Basics (like Changing Your Socks)
The Power of Positive Procrastination
The Nothing Alternative (and Other Tricks of Offense)
The Future of Self-control