MOM # 2

It all began on the 20th of October 2005.
Called her up to wish her A Happy Birthday.
Happily she’d say- come home soon…
Never could get my name and when I’d call she’d say, Nadia?
Paras must have gotten her to call me Twinkle/Twinx.
Later on it became about Art of Living.
Nonstop calls for info on the next course,
Also perfect excuse to talk to her.

One time I asked to talk to Himanshu,
And she’d shout for Chikoo!
Started calling Himanshu his nick name,
And he’d be like,
Don’t call me that!!! Lol…
Freaking out on my first day before the course,
I’d call her and tell her.
She’d say… it helped Paras,
I know it will help you.
Just do the course and you’ll see.
Went for the course, did the course, saw and still seeing.

Hadn’t spoken to her in such a long time.
Called her to ask her how she is…
We’d piga stories until credit on the land line would end.
Then she’d say if it’s your parents’ money it’s ok… Lol…
You save yours…
When things are looking bad,
I knew whom to call…
She’d always pray/hope/wish for me to get a great job and someone special…
Then she’d say how will you find one if you don’t get out?
-Tell your mom to open her eyes!!!
And I’d just laugh…

Later it became “I have to meet her”
And Paras helped by making me do so…
Thanks to AOL, already knew Mukund Uncle, Himanshu and Bansi…
Coz I don’t have a car,
Got Mukund uncle to be picking me from college to go see her that it’ll be part of your Seva…
Paras all excited in UK texting me…
Now I’m all excited coz I’m outside the gate!
Hadn’t been there before, so was directed to her room…
And there she was……
Sitting on her bed, waiting for me…
Her stunning eyes and her charming smile…
She looked like the cutest baby ever…
She’d analyze me from head to toe then say;
You look like a singh!

Couldn’t hold it and burst out laughing…
Made me go to her special green drawer where she had a white envelope with pictures in it…
While going through them,
Food starts coming in!
Pao-bhaji!
She knew it’s my favorite!
She’d make me eat so much, and I’d never complain about my stomach… only coz it’s her…
Then she’d always say listen to Guruji…
Then Mukund Uncle would come in… We go?
At the back of my head I’m thinking; No…
Look at the time and I’m thinking; Class…
Then we’d end up talking so much about AOL…
Give her a big Jadu-Ki-Japi and say see you next week.

Would still call her in between,
But it just aint the same face to face.
We’d talk about her past, present and future…
Talk bout all her wishes;
What bothers her;
Family;
Friends;
And of course, her best friend, Jesus…
She’d say just take Jesus’s name and he’ll always help you.

Got so used to chilling in her room…
Going towards there and she’s like Twinkle!
I’m thinking, ok, where’d that come from??? Lol…
Turn around, and she’s in the kitchen!
I’m like this’s just too awesome!
She was feeling great!

She’d never seen me with open hair,
She’s like wow you’ve got long hair…
Good… let it grow… Lol…
Now I don’t know what to do with it…
We all sat at the table for lunch,
Mukund Uncle’s like good you come to see her,
She’s only out of bed coz she knew you’re coming today!

I’d fill her plate and glass…
Always loved the way she’d hold her glass and drink out of it…
They’d all be talking away in Guju,
And I’m half way floating…
But I’d always smile,
Coz I loved the way she’d say “Che”

Over the phone she’d tell me I want to learn how to text…
I’d say don’t worry I’ll teach you…
I’m at home watching tele,
And suddenly I get a blank text…
I was just so jazzed!
A minute later she’d call me;
I had to learn your mobile and land line number off head… and why haven’t you been calling me? Lol…
Would call her Mom # 2!

Himanshu and Bansi left for Perth,
I called her that night…
She wasn’t showing how sad she was but I could tell by the way she was talking…
“I’m fine, I have so many friends, and I have my brothers, sisters, their kids…”
And I’d interrupt and say you’ve also got me as one of your friends…
She’d say NO!!!
I’m like haiya and confused!!!
Then she’d say;
You’re more of a daughter…
…Mom # 2…

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Mukund Uncle received an offer for a movie, shooting in Rwanda…
Paras used to get him roles in movies
So I’m like you can’t stay alone?
She’d say;
It’s ok, I’ll talk to your mom to come stay with me…
Even she can come stay with us… Lol…
…Mom # 2…

Called her on the 1st of June,
She was so upset…
People here and there doing and saying things she wasn’t liking…
Told her if she ever needed anything,
I’m just a call way…
Then she’d start talking about dying and what will happen there after…
And I’d be half way in tears saying don’t talk like that…
She didn’t wanna say anything then, just hung up…
Didn’t’ even see her that week…
…Mom # 2…

Monday 5th, Paras text me saying mom sounds really bad.
I called her up in the morning, she did sound really bad…
Couldn’t even say a word…
Told her I’m coming over to see you tomorrow…
And she made an effort to say “ANYTIME”
That was the last time I ever spoke to her…
That was the last thing she ever told me…
…Mom # 2…

Cried for so long, coz I couldn’t handle how she sounded…
Called Mukund Uncle and told him Please pick me tomorrow…
Later during the day Paras text saying mom’s in hospital… then called me later saying he’s flying down the next evening…
Mukund Uncle kept me posted all day and night on what’s happening and what’s not…
…Mom # 2…

Was meant to see her during the day,
But got caught up…
Didn’t even attend class…
Thought I’d go see her in the evening,
But mom guys had the car and were at my uncles.
Still no ride…
…Mom # 2…

Chilling with Vy in my room,
Just talking about stuff…
19:15,
Get a call from Mukund Uncle,
I thought he’s calling to tell me that Paras has landed,
Instead he says…
“Twinx, she’s gone…”
Started crying and he’s telling me to be strong…
…Mom # 2…

Was lucky I had Vy by my side,
Or I’d have started breaking things and only questioned “Why?”
Mom came in looking all confused…
Told her and she held me for a while…
I had to let it out,
Locked myself in the bathroom,
Watched my eyes and face turn red…
…Mom # 2…

Had to get out for some fresh air,
Then chilled at Vy’s.
All I could think of was the times I spent with her and all the things she’s told me…
And mostly, what Paras must be going through…
Didn’t sleep that night…
Don’t even know how I went to college the next day…
Couldn’t even think straight…
…Mom # 2…

No one calls me Twinkle…
Who will now?
Paras did, by mistake, the other day and it sounded SO BAD! Lol…
Don’t even feel like eating at lunch,
Use my tummy as an excuse, coz you’re not there…
They’ll say if Aruna was here,
She wouldn’t let you leave without having something…
I’d think hurtfully… she’s not here is she?
Would only have some so I don’t offend them…
…Mom # 2…

Talking about the Priest that came to see you at home on Thursday,
You told him that you know it’s your time…
The chills I got all over when I was told…
That’s the same Thursday you talked to me about dying…
You mean you were indirectly telling me that you’re leaving?
…Mom # 2…

You’re in a better place now…
Lucky you…
Walking with Jesus…
So I guess when Jesus walks on Earth again,
We’ll be seeing you?
…Mom # 2…

So much I had to tell you…
So much left unsaid…
But now you know everything, isn’t it?
No need to tell you now coz all veils are lifted…
You know how I feel,
You know what I’m thinking,
You know what I’m going through,
You know everything…
Don’t you?
…Mom # 2…

Didn’t even get to see you before you left…
Never even got to tell you:
I love you so much…
Now I miss you so much…
I wanted to do anything and everything for you…
I was meant to make your dreams come true…
I was meant to fulfill your wishes…
I was meant to make sure you’re always alright, smiling and happy…
…Mom # 2…

No one can replace you,
No one can be an ounce of who you are,
No one will say “Che” the way you do,
No one will send me blank texts,
No one will complain about me not calling them,
No one will tell me to text Paras for them,
No one will ask me my favorite foods,
No one can tell me what to do with my hair,
No one will tell me to come stay with them,
No one will tell me to come home “anytime…”
…Mom # 2…

Now I wonder if I did enough.
I wonder if there was more you expected from me.
…Mom # 2…

Now I’ll never get to know…
What you really thought of me…
What I really meant to you…
…Mom…

Related links
– RIP Daddio 7/6/2020 – Eulogy and Prayers
– Movie Parts I Got my Daddio – Mukund Thakrar
– 32 Questions to Ask your Father (Includes my Dad’s Answers when I Asked him)