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Your Erroneous Zones | Wayne Dyer | Book Summary | Bestbookbits.com

Your “erroneous zones” refers to the mistaken behavior, thoughts and attitudes which we all hold, display or demonstrate at one time or another. The intention of the book is to help you break away from negative thinking which, in turn, leads to negative or agitative emotions (worry, guilt, depression, helplessness, anger, and neediness), and then, painful consequences via erroneous actions.

Ask great questions, think for yourself, challenge convention, speak the truth, strengthen your soul, and grow with friends; here is my summary of “Your Erroneous Zones” by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, along with a couple of additional insights:

1. You have the power to choose
You choose to be who you are, and you have the power to take charge of your thoughts and present moments. Happiness is a choice and comes from within. Dyer suggests asking yourself, “How long am I going to be dead?” This “eternal perspective” can aid you to embrace a “take charge” stance in life.

2. Take charge of all of yourself
By controlling your thoughts, you control you emotions and the way you feel.

Negative thoughts create emotions which stop you from doing what you truly want i.e. you avoid speaking your truth and expressing your feelings because you are afraid you will offend other people.

The only real reason to grow is for growth’s sake, and not because you feel incomplete. Accept where you are now and choose to develop for your own good, not for the approval of others. Unlike a good day or an euphoric experience, growth for growth’s sake, leads to a happy life because it helps you to realize your potential.

3. Love yourself
Love yourself by creating a positive self-image, without linking it only to achievements and accomplishments. Accept compliments, as a way to build a positive self-image.

Beware of using low self-worth as a way to avoid relationships and thus, rejection.

Beware of seeking pity and playing victim as a way of holding yourself back and avoiding change.

4. Seek your own approval
Approval from others can be pleasurable, and it can also control you, making you a puppet to other people, with extraordinary pain and misery when others withhold their approval.

Constantly seeking the approval of others gives them power and paralyzes you!

You shrink yourself when you seek other people’s approval and you end up doing nothing or, only what they want.

“Other people’s opinions” do not determine your self-worth.

You can respond by saying, “I respect you and I won’t change my thoughts on this matter to get you to like me.”

5. The past doesn’t equal the present
Beware of giving yourself self-limiting labels based on your past behavior. Stop saying “I’ve always been this way…I’m naturally shy…I’m just not good at this…”

Possibly you tried something at a young age and someone criticized, disapproved of you or labeled you and, you chose to hold onto that label or self-limiting belief.

Become solution focused and you will discover you have much more talent and abilities than you thought possible! https://patrickwanis.com/blog/focus-on-the-solution-not-the-problem/

6. Guilt and worry destroy you
Guilt can be a guide to let you know that something you have done has negatively affected someone else. Therefore, guilt can be positive if you respond to it appropriately and choose to make appropriate amends, learn from the mistake and correct your future behavior.

Guilt can be negative when you punish yourself for years and for something over which you now have no control or cannot change; guilt cannot change the past.

Beware of people throwing guilt at you as a way to manipulate you. Get clear about your values and standards, and live by them – not by other people’s values and standards.

Worrying is negative hallucination i.e. imagining and thinking that the worst is going to happen. Planning, on the other hand, is focusing on a solution!

7. Become excited – explore the unknown
Growth is one of the 6 key emotional needs. When we say things such as “I’m longing for change” or “I need a change”, we are actually saying we need and want to grow.

Growth can only occur when you do something new. And the only thing stopping you is your own fear – of failure.

Failure is the expectation of performance that other people have created and which we have chosen to accept.

Stop trying to please others; stop thinking that performance alone determines your self-worth; use failure as a means to learn and grow.

Challenge and expand your comfort zone now.

Ask yourself, “Is my fear of the unknown, a fear of criticism or someone else’s disapproval?

8. Challenge convention
Dyer suggests that customs be discarded if we don’t believe in them or if they clash with our values; strive to live up to your own standards. Beware of following convention just to get other people’s approval. Think for yourself.

Behaviors that result from”should and should not”:

• Dress for an occasion of an uncomfortable or that you do not like (for example putting on a suit of jacket to 35ºC).
• Drink alcohol to socialize because it is the”normal”.
• Attend a wedding even if you do not know the bridegroom or you fall out.
• Wash the dishes and clean the house because you are a woman.
• That because you are a woman do not invite a man to leave even if you like it.
• Having to always look for the right way to do something: a food recipe, a repair…
• See the game because it is important and everyone will see it even if it does not influence your life.
• Glue jumps for a goal because everyone else does.
• Enter a disco or go to a concert by someone you do not like because your friends are going.

9. Beware the justice trap
If you are going to choose to be upset by the lack of justice in the world, ensure that there is something you can do about it, otherwise it is wasted energy. Beware of using it as an excuse to do nothing or as an excuse to something bad i.e. everyone else is doing it, so I can do it, too.”

10. Procrastination comes from fear
Procrastination comes from fear of failure, confrontation or uncomfortability. Remember, the problem won’t disappear or solve itself. Beware of attempting to justify poor performance by procrastinating i.e. “I left it too late – that’s why it didn’t work.” Categorize and prioritize your to-do list, and remember, life is short – act now!

11. Declare your own independence
Independence is freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others; the freedom to pursue your own happiness.

When you choose or force someone to be in a dependent, submissive relationship, you are controlling the other person and he/she will eventually resent and rebel against you. Love cannot be forced.

Encourage people at home and work to find their independence and self-expression. Beware of being a dependent and follower, and thus, never being true to yourself or living your full potential.

12. Anger is destructive
Beware of the ways that anger can destroy you and others around you; beware of using anger to blame other people for the way you feel and behave or to manipulate or guilt other people into doing what you want.

12-Portrait of the person without erroneous zones

• They are too busy to look at what their neighbors do.
• They enjoy everything that life gives them; Feel comfortable doing anything and do not waste time complaining or wishing things were otherwise.
• They are free from guilt and events that occurred in the past.
• Do not worry about worry. Some circumstances that other people spend thinking about for hours and hours will affect them.
• They do not need approval from others.
• They laugh and make fun of almost anything and everything, of absurd events and of the most serious and solemn.
• They accept themselves without complaint. They accept that they are human beings and that being involves certain human attributes. They know what their physical appearance is and accept it.
• They appreciate nature. They love to be outdoors enjoying, running, walking or doing anything that does not harm them.
• They have no emotional commitment to problems. They accept that they are part of life and that allows them to overcome them easily.
• They do not need to draw attention to themselves and do not criticize, they are doers.
• They help others. They pursue social change but do not care about problems at night or think about injustices without taking action.
• They are honest, they do not pretend to lie or evade.
• They believe that what they are is their own responsibility and never blame others for what happens to them.
• They have high energy levels. They need little sleep and are healthy.
• They are very curious, always looking for things to know, do and learn.
• They are not afraid of failure and risk venturing into the uncertain and unknown. They do not equate external results with their success as a human being.

Contents
Introduction – A Personal Statment

Chapter 1 – Taking Charge of Yourself

Chapter 2 – First Love

Chapter 3 – You Don’t Need Their Approval

Chapter 4 – Breaking Free From the Past

Chapter 5 – The Useless Emotions – Guilt and Worry

Chapter 6 – Exploring the Unknown

Chapter 7 – Breaking the Barrier of Convention

Chapter 8 – The Justice Trap

Chapter 9 – Putting an End to Procrastination – Now

Chapter 10 – Declare Your Independence

Chapter 11 – Farewell to Anger

Chapter 12 – Portrait of a Person Who Has Eliminated All Erroneous Zones

Index