Oops Upside Yo Head:
Scenario – I’m hugging Meera just about to lift her while she’s standing on the bed and I’m facing it. Sound FX – She goes ‘NO NO NO NO’ but I don’t stop till I hear a THUD! Reason – Buttercups got sloping ceilings so her dome ended up meeting the ceiling with IMPACT! Reaction – Pain for her but a good laugh for both. Note to self – STOP TRYING TO FEEL SO SWAYZE!

Aks Production’s Acting Workshop June-July 2010

Big up Ambarish for the pics

Since I’ve been extra busy I’ve not got down the dates.

First Workshop meeting – Meet with the Aks crew, introduce ourselves and chit chat. After that we did some exercises for stage awareness, voice projection, trust, etc. Quite a few of them were what we teach kids in Art of Living’s ART Excel course. I was excited about the trust one as I’ve always wanted to be the one in the middle being pushed around. So that was cool though for the first one I think there was more talk and lets just say it’s a good thing Ankur is funny.

Second meeting – Get an email assigning me to Team 1. Basically we were divided into 2 groups and each group would further be divided into 2 plays. So meet up at Sanket’s beautiful place facing the docks. Our director Charan had mailed us 2 scripts and we went through them. Get an email telling me I’ve been given the part of Paul in the Growth. I was like yay… I have to sleep most of the time lol. So I recorded my script and put it on my mp3 player to listen to throughout the day. I must say the bus rides got interesting as I’d pretend to be talking to someone on the empty seat next to me or an occupied seat opposite the isle. Most of the time I’d get away with it coz the folks would think I’m just on my handsfree or something. But then there are some lines e.g. did you book that seat or did the airline stick you way over there? And folks would have that expression like this guy looks totally sane but why is he talking like this and how should I react to it.

Third meeting – Get to Tina’s for rehearsals. She’ll be playing my wife Sue and Sejal would be the hallucination/angel Monica. We go through our bits and get direction from Charan. Voice was the main problem and would be in coming rehearsals. So far so good. Note: Charan was talking about the 4th wall and representational/presentational act and I was like… I WANNA KNOW MORE!

The rest of the meetings took place in Regent’s park at the bandstand. We finally realised why Charan kept telling us about volume. We couldn’t hear anything just a few steps away from each other. So now we had to work on voice AND talk to the audience when speaking and look at the person when they were speaking… difficult concept and we’ve come a long way but still need to work on that bit. As in it’s just habit to face the person you’re talking to right? Oh and Paul has been a bit too stiff for a caring husband and I was told to work on that. It was kinda difficult coz that ‘nice guy/lovey dovey guy’ is a part of my past and my ego was like you’re not gonna be needy… till Charan mentioned something about what is needy to me is called love to the rest. I was still beating myself up for not getting it coz it was just acting so after rehearsals it was time to calibrate. Asked myself when I felt that lovey dovey caring stuff. Only with 2 people and music of course. I thought I was gonna have to confide in Tina to feel that but I felt it… and confided anyway lol. But yeah… every emotion I linked to a song and either one of the two people that I used to show all my emotions to. It did help coz Sue has a tumor and I’m trying to be caring and all just like how I used to be with moms wheeling her around.

So every time we meet we work and build on something. After voices and looking at the audience came emoting the lines with all the lovey dovey stuff. Note: I think this is the first time I’ve held a skinny girls hand… and it’s not too bad ;o) Note 2: Was meant to design the poster and tickets for this production but its a not for profit thing and that means no income which aint happening since my seva time and resources are booked for Art of Living till end of August. Plus Aks was formed by folks wanting to get away from their work and I was spending enough time and money for the workshop. Hell by he time I get home I just have time to sleep… maybe change. And sleep was getting hard enough as it was as the Alam brothers seem to like rearranging their furniture every other midnight while my Bangla housemates in the living room next to me feel a song coming on every other minute.

Workshop 2 with Ankur’s parents and sister – Intros etc… right of the bat I was told to stretch the R and S in my name. Oh and thats the other thing… out of all the cast I thought I’d be the loudest and it turns out I was the softest. Let me reword that… I was the least loudest!? Shows you just how much your perception is not what is reality. But I’ll come to that in a bit. We do some more exercises and then do our plays right… now the parents give us tweaks and stuff. They were amazing… in a nutshell… try and express each and every word spoken and every space before, after and in between. Only bit I was heart broken was when I was told to tone down the anger and be more caring in a very emotional bit which I had to dig into my past to get out… and it’s still hard to show it but yeah Charan confirmed it’s all good and the emotion stays. Anyway so sacrificed a major fam reunion after ages for it but I had to do it… my been there done that reflex kicked in. By the time I joined the fam reunion it chilled out and I’ve been trying something different especially by staying away from the music but towards the end I ended up there. Teaching belly dance and farting around lol. That Polish beer was sooo strong I had to sleep it off the whole next day.

More meetings at Regents Park bandstand. More rehearsals and I totally forgot one crucial bit but we got to it… it was emoting and reacting to our partners lines. So we had to add to that and now I’m feeling comfortable with it coz it’s starting to flow. Sue and Paul are starting to feel like a couple. Funny bit: The director knows what he wants so he’s directing that way and sometimes the cast feel like they can word it better or help and ends up being a ‘too many cooks…’ situation. So yeah… the shouting lines at each other is starting to feel natural too. It’s getting there but at the same time lots of tweaks needed. Note: Usually I’d get to Regents Park extra early so either catch some sleep or chill by the lake/pond thing. This time round I was eating my carrots and feeding some of the ducks there and a gaggle of geese come uncomfortably close. One was right next to me and I’m like does this fool want a carrot or is he gonna bite me. He was saying something to me… if only I had subtitles. It was nice though… till a silly girl decided to chase them around. I think I took their spot coz they settled quite close to me. It felt like the main one was yelling cuss words my way. Note: Using that world, gaggle, just took me back to Std. 7. What were those books called again? First Aid in English or something?

Meet again at the Peacock theatre for proper rehearsals. Usually we’d say a few lines and Charan would panel beat it when needed… now it was time for us to do it fully. First time we were better. The other plays are so much more funny and have much more movement. Ours is just in a flight sitting and talking. And one of the plays has cuss words man! The cocksucker bit makes my day every time…. where was I? Oh the first time round Charan even recorded our bits and we watched it and realised that one of the biggest things we needed to bump up was our hand and body expressions as our facial expressions were lost in the distance. And this theatre is not that big even. Second time we were really crap… but louder so that was good. I personally thought that main bit where I lose it was good but no one else giving me props so I guess I gotta work on it. Yo, but Neha Jain said I was a cute husband… Paras felt a flashback when he used to be sweet and cute and all but just to clarify… I’M PLAYING A CHARACTER so she was talking about him OKAY! LMAO! My dear Sue was not happy with her part and I was feeling this need to be there for her. So I guess this acting stuff is helping me feel for stuff other than music. Anyway get home and I don’t have work the next day so I’mma sleep my ass off!

Yeah right… my body clock is programmed to wake up by 9 atleast and after the energy drinks last night for the play… I think I fell asleep when it was getting bright so say 4am in summer. Spend some quality time with the lappy… I ignored her for a whole week man.

After a weekend break we met again at the usual Regents Park Bandstand and Ankur joined the second performance. Dude gave us some pretty deep mindsets to think about especially for the emotions and how they transition. So now my lovey dovey-ness is good but my sarcasm is missing and I gotta work on the reaction while Sue is talking but yeah out of all the plays ours is ready to go. Can’t remember if I mentioned this but our play is the most static, sad and some other S word (I think slow) and it’s been slotted in to be the second one in the 4 short plays.

Rainy windy day… it was dry by the time we got to the bandstand and time we did something called gabble where we just blurt out our lines fast and try to do it without mistakes. Then did a straight run I was not at all pleased with… even the second straight run I was not happy with my execution. Charan asks us to take note of our props list. Get home and pack and go stay elsewhere to try get some decent sleep but that didn’t happen.

Friday (2 days to the play) – Just got named and shamed coz I didn’t pay the workshop balance lol. Ok so we meet for a proper dress rehearsal at The Cockpit. I was early as usual and it was closed so try out this minced lamb on a naan pizza like thing next door and I realised these guys on around Edgware road are either trying to be rude or don’t have it in them to look you in the eyes. Anyway, Tina tells me to meet her at the sheesha place we usually hang and get coffees from. Sejal joins us. Rija was there too and we didn’t even realise. Dude next to us leaves the sheesha for Sej and me. The waiter is not too pleased with that and tries to take it away. Then I ask for another glass for mint tea and he refuses to bring it! Oh well… back to the play… see now the crew has already beautiful women so when they came out dressed I was like that Boyz II Men song … if there could only be 3 more of me…. So our first rehearsal went ok and Charan let us go, from now on we’re on our own but we need to work on that volume. Do some more gabble and get a chance to rehearse once more which came out great… hell I was happy with my bit finally. But yeah it’s freaking me out a little as I start feeling my heartbeat and shakes and cotton mouth. We’re told alcohol would not help as it’ll interfere with our voices. Bit of a challenge but exciting too. All the plays are coming out well… you can see there is chemistry between the characters and now it’s basically fine tuning.

Thought I’d wake up early… go to the gym at 9 and meet with the crew to hang as we couldn’t do much without Sejal. Even skipped my workout and just did a run and still got there late. And on the bus a kid threw up on my Converse shoes which I rarely take out for a walk. It’s all good, it was more water than anything else and didn’t even smell the bus out or anything. I’d go into more detail about it but this one’s about Aks sooo… Charan had left The Rag Factory by then so I watched the other teams rehearsals. Man Sarah’s expression are soooo amazing even though her second character plays the perfect ‘kinda crazy about measurements’ partner. I don’t mean measurements in that way! I just realised the other plays have a kink… one has some psycho-ness, another has swearing and the other has sexual references.

The Big Day – Wake up early thinking I’ll squeeze in a run at the gym… worked out my vocal instead by singing and rapping after ages. Get there early and wait for the rest. Rehearse sound and light and curtain calls. During the curtain call Ankur calls me Paras Shah and my reaction was ‘thats not my surname mother f***er!’ as I walk on stage (in a funny way of course). Lol I was like if that happens during the main show I’m gonna replace it with most famous swear word in one of the plays. Find out the print outs have mine and Heteash’s surnames wrong on there but Charan nipped off too his office to fix that. Rehearsed a few times and the last minute changes were hard to incorporate especially pretending to sleep with my chin up so the audience can see my face. Make up time. Back stage was wicked… we thought the place was small but more rooms lead to more rooms and they have this speaker system where you can hear whats going on ‘on stage’ so clearly. Just hope nobody was bitching about anybody else. The guys dressing area had a piano and washing machines etc. Everyone’s starting to look fly… Neha Datta hooked up the older person look on Sanket and Sejal. Suddenly felt like prep with Blue Sky Films all over again.

The performance – First the musicians went on. Ali knew these guys separately and got them together for this show. They sounded crap on the backstage speaker thing but the crowd loved em. First short play goes on… sounds good. We’re next and I was trying to find a quiet place to go blank but didn’t and saw Sarah with her headphones on… BRILLIANT! Thats what I usually do to drown the rest of the noise anyway. Still end up getting advice and I can’t remember what anyone said coz it stitched through my ears. Our play had 2 screw ups… first one from yours truly of course saying the wrong line. The second screw up kinda covered up the first and the audience had no clue so it’s all good. After that my stomach turned into a washing machine. OH the whole day I don’t know what was up but before the play I had to go 5 times! Anyway so I suppress this feeling of Alien wanting to break out of my stomach with a whiskey and serious flirting in Albanian with the Kosovan barmaid. Feel better and get backstage again. Wait for the the plays to finish. Curtain calls. Meet my fam and friends at the bar again. It was pretty packed so we left for a shawarma at Helen’s. Can’t believe after all this time practicing it was over so quick. Everyone was full of nothing but compliments but I wanted to know which bits were off. I was told the bad words caught people off guard mostly since there were kids in the audience. Note: Gotta find out what that feeling in the stomach was coz it was BAD! Hell I took a day off work to recover.

So yeah… the Workshop was worth it … total £95 (mostly to sell tickets) plus lots of time rehearsing. We were told we’ll get more of a practical experience from it instead of learning stuff, but some acting for dummies advice now and then would have been good. The producers and directors were great, the crew was amazing… in a few weeks we were already like a family. Was hoping for some kinda drama but they were all too cool, full of jokes and they saved the drama for the stage. Cock suckers!

ART Excel Acton Town 31st May – 4th June 2010

31st May Monday – Wake up one last time at the ‘Animal House’. Pack, hoover, reconcile with BK and move. See BK had taken my cash and bag and promised to return it one a certain day and it was way past that day so the previous night when I really needed the bag he was a no show and I kinda unleashed Landlords issues on him too. Anyway so move, new Landlord sorts out my room key, unpack, worry about my deposit from old place but Landlord comes through. Take a nap before my journey. Tube to Gunnersbury, buses to Ram and Vita’s place. Meet Lil Vikram, Josh and Sonali. Su, Carolina, Joanathan, etc… come over. We do some fun and crazy yoga. It was jokes when Jonathan led it coz he’s tall and there was jumping and it was just funny. Long Kriya after ages. Vita’s amazing man… I think the only Lithuanian that speaks Hindi too. She knows how to make proper Indian food and every thing. And she’s been taking care of us and baby Vikram and still so peaceful. Don’t know how she does it. Oh and coz I was sleeping on the floor I could hear the guys watching TV downstairs through the tempura mattress and pillow.

1st June Tuesday – I gotta wake up first, at 4.30, for the shower coz I need 30 mins just to wake up before the shower. Yes the power of snooze to the power of 3. Do padma sadhna and then have a disturbing short Kriya with people burping and jumping and alarms and baby Vikram. Get to the school and it’s usual, get the kids to write their name tags and make their ART Excel books. This time they were much younger so some needed help with reading. Already spotted the problem kid (Robert) and like the previous one (Egli) he’s from Albania too. This time it’s pretty mixed, Polish, Russian, Afghani, Iranian, Iraqi, Somali, West Indian, etc. Don’t know whats up with me but when it was time for kids to lie down I knocked out too. Lunch. Game time was funny, football with no rules. Abdulrahim didn’t wanna play right from the start and then he came and told me he’s better and analysing the situation than being in it so I’m like ok you be referee then. Robert wanted attention which he wont getting from me. Just when we had to get back in I hear the coach on the other field shouting Egli’s name and making Egli do a lap. Was good seeing him, he looked so different but it was just a hairstyle change. Anyway… usual games and this and that and I fall asleep again and get caught by the kids. After a long debriefing we come back and do a meditation that felt like a week of bliss. Eat some amazing food Vita made, shopping, get locked out and watch Zeitgeist part 1.

2nd June Wednesday – Wake same as yesterday. Vita didn’t get any sleep coz Vikram was up all night coz of the chicken pox. Weird bit is, when I was locked outside I went through my phone to delete numbers I wont call and came across this one number that got me thinking about the person… and today morning I get a friend request from the person. One of them thangs. We hit traffic so we knocked out while Debbie sang us lullaby. Games. Kids walking off… don’t know what that means. They learn Victory/Ujjay breath and Happy breath. Poor Wiktoria looked miserable she had tummy issues so her mom picked her up. She’s def the Prima Donna in the group. Painting meditation. Debrief. Come back Tesco shop with Carolina. Walk into Su and Debbie and all doing pranayam and I was like … what again? So I half did mine and after the meditation there was gonna be satsang and I was dying for some alone time so thought I’d go read for a few minutes and join them but the lady downstairs got hold of me and bless her heart she talked my ears off. She’s like her name is Prince… I was like what? Then she pulled a James Bond on me and went Dorothy Prince. It went like this… I was at the entrance of the building near her window so she opens the window and asks me ‘don’t you have any gardens where you come from’. I was like no I’m trying to get in but the people upstairs are singing and it’s so loud they can’t hear the doorbell. She thought I said something else and that’s how the pattern followed. So instead I just listened to her as she took me around the building showing me all the problems thinking I stay in the building and will help her with her issues. The bins were empty but the rubbish was out in the corridor. Cleaners don’t come and cameras and do you think I should also complain about so and so… let me show you where the offices are. She even caught this other dude but he escaped early. And if I haven’t mentioned already these buildings are like posh projects just high rises all over and on the first day I took an early turn and started in the 400s when I was meant to be around 30s. By the time I finished and got back to the crew satsang was over but at least food was next. And some great food, everyone made or brought something. Dry potato and yogurt followed by fruit salad and ice cream did it for me. The Magic Tree system AOL have in the South is amazing with all these activities… much better than forcing folks. Josh was so so wired it was fun and funny. After finishing the washing I was so ready for sleep but we find Vikram asleep face down, butt in the air. And coz he’s been training to peepee he’s usually not wearing any pants so it was a sight to see this little creature look like a drunk frog and chicken pokie skin. I was just happy he didn’t wet the duvet or anything. Get my read on and knockout.

(Grrrr… was promised pics with me in them but I promise I was there!)

3rd June Thursday – Another day can’t believe we already half way. Skip padma. Most of us were kinda late for that anyway or not feeling it… think it was coz of one of the members distracting the rest during Kriya. While waiting Carolina had stuff to sort out and Josh brought up the burping during Kriya issue. Dorothy Prince starts again but not for long this time she was just like ‘did you see him come in (the cleaner)’. And I was like um no. It was my turn to do the day chart with some kids. Then trust games… Mudasa and Wiktoria looked the cutest during the blindfold game. Animal yoga and my team sucked… Abdulrahim had his ‘I’m always right tantrum’. Then Muna followed and… well it was crack day. Breathing. Lunch. Painting as our service project. Now I’d brought rough clothes but didn’t know it was gonna be like paint that would be hard to take off so I’d bought cling film and tied carry bags on my shoes. And just as I look like a clown a hottie decides to join us for painting. Games. Get Mustafa in trouble he punched me enough and was being difficult. Today the F bomb was dropped by Ahmed too. It was funny coz 3 kids were like ‘he just said Fuck off’. Carolina had to get away but something made her stay… we do yoga and meditation before pizza and debriefing at Franka Manka. Note for later: Had extra chilli oil on mine and as usual stole their serviettes. Get dropped and Vita had given me keys so let the guys in and nip off to Tesco to negotiate the release of some brown hostages… man we’ve been eating so much we’re full of gas and the Tesco dump was a memorable one. Even thought of buying myself a gift. Back to Vita’s and even our patience is being tested. One’s asking too many questions, anothers hogging the couch, net and TV, I don’t know what I’m doing. So Vikram and parents get back and they spot this helicopter toy Sonali got for Vikram and what bad timing coz Carolina was going to sleep and Sonali was about to while Josh and I were listening to the siren go off in the living room. Oh well, last time we’re gonna see the brat so make the most of it. Note for later: Had ice cream to counter the chilli oil and drink lots and lots of water before sleeping.

4th June Friday – Now everyday my wake up time would start at 4.15 but the mix of chili oil, ice cream and water made me need to GO at 3.30 but someone was inside. And I REALLY had to go. I’m in bed thinking I’m gonna explode, then I remembered tissue was finished too… see how the notes for later are adding up. The serviettes came in handy. Catch a few minutes of sleep, shower and watch the new Naruto… he’s back and he’s graduated to Sage Mode. My eyes were welling up at 5am watching this kid turn from brat to gangsta ninja. Pack… really wanted to say bye to Vita but she was sleeping and just as we leave she comes out… the sweetest thing man. Yo all our tummies were funked up. Sign cards for Su coz she’s leaving for Italy, cards for the school and cards for the caterers who were not AOL but still nice enough to seva with the food. Trust games. Lunch. Short game time today coz we had to prepare for a presentation for the guests and parents. Guests come, sun salutation, singing, etc. Cake and the girl that silenced the world vid. Pack, byes. Confide in Josh about being in love with a married woman. I’ve converted him into discussing bowel movements like the way we do with the cousins. Sleep the rest of the journey home. Squeeze in an hour of running at the gym… wow Friday evenings is packed. While doing my alternate nostril breathing after yoga this dude got curious so explain stuff to him… skip steam room coz it was boiling as it was. Get home and meet the Albanian roomie… Ella… soooo my type man! Short and voluptuous and naughty but her boyfriend Max came by and ruined my game! Order a late pizza… oh and met the Bangla housemate too … Shahid… man he’s like studying law and the way he talks is the same… so we’re all chilling and he’s ‘presenting his case’. And before sleeping teach him a lil about picking convos with girls and ploughing. Fall asleep watching a DVD I got from the gym. Spend my first night in the new place.

Notes: Terrell was a playa, Madiy was on top of things, Shabnam was very open and warm, Mustafa was a problem, Shannon has potential.