Thursday – Register with a local doctor. Get nagged at work. Go to Sag’s, sort out stations/stops and shlack for Paris.

Friday – My right foot’s already acting up coz clever me decided to wear my heavy shoes coz I thought we might go clubbing one night! Sleep to airport, board, sleep to Paris. Check bags in and eat at this place where we see posh bums lounging with their couches and all on the sidewalk. Roam around. Found a place that did the bombest hot chocolate with cream (chocolat viennevois). Yo we couldn’t go in but the Luxembourg Gardens are HUGE, they have like 710 kinds of apple trees. FRUITY! Get a tour van to see the main buildings lit up at night. The tour guide was too funny. Traffic in Paris is not! Notre Dam looked amazing, but the Eiffel Tower was the bomb coz its lit up but every night I think the other lights go off twice for 10 minutes and we were lucky to catch that. Note: Bought the most expensive batteries at Eiffel. Checked out so many other buildings and statues. We wanted to eat so go down this road and the way everyone markets their stuff is crazy, free drinks, if you don’t like food its free, etc. Me and Sag just stopped at this place coz of a hot girl… well she was standing in front of some sea food window so maybe Sag stopped for that lol. Go to the hotel, plan next day and knock out. REALLY WANT TO SEE MOULIN ROUGE.

Saturday – Wake everyone with my loud ass alarm hehehe. Go to the Louvre (only the biggest museum in the world). Its meant to take the whole day to see everything. Now I’d planned to kill as much as I could until someone spoke up. I wanted to check all the places from my list so I wanted to rush it, Sag was more into knowing details/history behind things… and he spoke up!!! DAMN lol. Oh yeah I see a tub in one of the rooms so I tell Shiv to take a pic of me pretending to be in it. The picture is classic coz there I am with my hand over the edge and security coming at me coz APPARENTLY we’re not allowed to touch stuff. Geez! Saw some huge HUGE paintings. Just go to site if you’re interested ok. Oh saw Mona Lisa/Jaconde… or ‘the ho’ as Sag puts it. Have a yogurt I’d stolen from the hotel at the HUGE gardens outside Louvre. Chill and freeze. Walk to the oblix (spelling) thing that Parisians say was a present/Egyptians say was stolen. Note: Too many gamblers around tobacconists. Through out the trip Sag doesn’t stop about Russell Peters ‘jump for joy’ joke. Back and right foot killing but excitement distracts me. Queue up for Eiffel tower. Oldie couple behind me getting on my nerves. First they cut in the line when then Orientals behind us waited so long and now the hubby keeps pushing up against me. I try to keep calm but he keeps kicking my shoes and bumping me, maybe my farts will work (they were lethal this weekend). In the end Shiv gave me her spot. Then we saw the wife and GAAAD DAYUM!!! Which side is the real but on? Anyway so we queue up to take the lift to the second level, then queue and FREEZE to go to the top. Lol The way Sag put lip balm it was more outside the lips. I could help yelling in the queue for everyone to see his lips. Before I forget the higher Eiffel goes the lighter the paint gets to emphasise the height. Get back down, head to Le Fenelon for some of that lovely hot chocolate. We were made to go in to have a Crepe too but now we gotta go out to have a Crepe. Kill time at this place with a great beer called Lancelot something something. Anyway link with Uncle and Neha for some dinner, link with Neha’s buddies to take us somewhere. Went to La Meridienne, lovely place but the food sucked and we paid the most here. Oh well fam time cannot be calculated. Sag and Neha wont too please about me giving Unc my tobacco. Oh Sag also went on about having Wine so Neha’s buds and unc headed home and it looked like we were gonna do the wine thing at a great Jazz Bar called River Bar. It was a live band and they played some good Jazz/Blues/Rock & Roll. Sag asked for a bottle and 4 glasses. Paid for the glasses instead lol. Finished there and we head for a local near ours. Shiv goes home while Sag and I are at this place that reminds us of Wambugu with pinball machines and dudes playing cards. Apparently where we’re staying is a very Indian area (Gare Du Nord). Have a drink, bitch and more Russell jokes. REALLY HOPE TO SEE MOULIN ROUGE.

Sunday – French women have the sexiest noses man! I was not so lively today. We hog brekkie. Take a boat ride on the Siene and get details on building and bridges. The lady pointed to the thinnest house and I didn’t see it coz didn’t think it would be that bloody THIN! The boat passed the other side of where we normally hung around. Finally see the art park/garden thing my French teach used to tell me about. Remember how hot her body was and how not her yellow teeth were! Anyway so Shivani heads off to Unc’s exhibition. I get a sexy crepe with egg, cheese, ham AND sausage. That’s the only way to have a savoury one! I’m missing chilli sauce though. Decide to check out Jardin du Luxembourg (The garden with those 710 different apples. Chill out there, enjoy the scenery and peace and more Russell Peters jokes. Where we went to get hot chocolate, a drunken dude came up to me asking me if I play chess. I play chase! Walk to Le Courlis with the nice Lancelot beer. Yo man there was such a cute baby, in fact the cutest baby I’d ever seen and he kept walking up and down and shaking his head at Sag. Then he walked around again with his biscuit thing and put it on our table… so I ate it. Hahaha shoulda seen the poor guy, even his sulky face was the cutest ever. I took a video of him walking around and even like staring at the camera right… more on it later. This old drunk dude at the bar keeps smiling and looking our direction. Finally he comes up to us and you know how drunk dudes get with shaking hands and all… but this guy was different, looked like he was gay with all the rubbing Sag’s hand and giving him a peck and all. Man I was in stitches. I taught dude the Jamaican dap and he started punching at my fist big time. Oh well at least it wont me he was getting cosy with hahahahaha. Every time I reminded Sag of it poor guy would remember his extra garlicky breath. Fam dinner again, there was a match going on. Sag wont too happy with his steak, the sauce tasted like Daar anyway. Oh and what’s this? Shivani doesn’t mind walking? Hmmm, we decided to walk around our local. Hehehe. Have our usual hot chocolate and cream, the chocolate mousse was wicked too. Even more right leg pain. DON’T THINK I’LL BE DOING MOULIN ROUGE ANYMORE. Note: Plan a romantic weekend to see Moulin Rouge show.

Monday – Had too many Crepes and no crap so brekkie did the trick. Sag and Shivani gonna drive back with Unc and Neha so I was gonna do the killing things on my list for sure. Yeah right, walk all the way to music city (music museum)… close on Mondays. So wait for the tube, while waiting look at pictures and came to the cutest baby. Remember? Instead of playing it, I deleted it. I was so heartbroken. Still am. More walk till Bastille. What’s with everyone carrying baguettes, in Kenya you see folks carrying newspapers like that, in London it’s the Metro lol. But in Paris is a long ass hotdog roll! Then walk up to Vosges. Its like 4 buildings, meant to look like books that make up a square and in the middle there’s a garden/park. Walk to Natural History museum… now that is extra large man. On the left its prehistoric things. In the middle the gardens have all kindsa plants, on the left its stretches like crazy with all kindsa animals. Have the final hot chocolate with cream at our main place. That cream is too good man. More walk to Musee de l’hommes (Mankind museum). Didn’t know how to get in coz I thought it’d be the nice looking side facing Eiffel, glad I had to go round coz I found the trees I had pictures of but wanted to take em myself… they kind look like Dr. Zeus’ Lorax. Now that was something, thing is few of the rooms were closed coz it’s a bloody Monday but still saw skulls, weapons, utensils of waaaaaayyy back till recent stuff. There’s some studies of an oriental, a whitey and an African females through out their ages. Saw the kinda condoms and other contraception they used back in the day. (Finally saw a IUD – intrauterine device). Saw real foetuses from 6 weeks to 6 months. Can believe I was that small. Looked more like a booger than a baby. Different kindsa hair and eyes. Very realistic figures of a dude removing his skin to show how muscles look, then organs and other innards. Take a tube to Arts and Metiers (still don’t know what metiers is)… anyway it was bloody closed too and I’d started limping around. Walk to Gare L’est thinking I could take the train to the airport from there. Walk back to Gare du Nord. Get to Airport. Sleep till check-in. How embarrassing: Was meant to wait near gate A1 but all I saw was 2, 3 and 4. Everyone’s on the bus waiting to be driven to the plane and then you hear… Could Paras Thakrar please come to gate A1. At least my limp looked reason enough for the delay. I knew the more I stop for a break the fast my legs gonna give in. By the time I took the bus to Brent Cross my left legs started acting up too coz it was doing most of the work. More walk from Brent Cross bus stop to Underground. Oh well get home and life is good. Notes: 1 – But but, why why. Seva can help so much kutarka. 2 – There’s no fat people in Paris! I saw one on the last day and she was staying at the hotel so that’s not counted. What’s that all about? 3 – French women have the finest sculpted noses!

Tuesday – Take day off. Washing and finish typing Celebrating Love knowledge, get rid of more diamonds.

Wednesday – PILING UP!!! Sort out more of my diamonds… more on that later.

Dreaming