Alcoholic vs. Hospital
So I gotta catch up with my homie… lets call homie ‘Sid’, and get the juice on the lies that ‘catalysed’ the break up. Sid is really worried about pops… we’ll call him ‘Deda’. And fortunately Sid gets a car so I hop along for the 1 hour trip North to see Deda coz he wont answering his calls and all, it was getting too much. We get to Deda’s and oh my lawdy lawd! The place is a dump… I mean even a dump looked organised. And there he was lying in bed, empty beer cans all over the place. Deda’s mate was there too who was soooo funking sickening I wanted to knock him up side his head. Sid in the mean time is keeping calm and I’m thinking if that was my pops I’d set trip in the worst ways. So we’re like this is not happening so we’re gonna bring you back to London. I need to do a number 1 first so go to the loo… now I want a gun. I mean you got your skidmarks and then you got plain plastered poo on the porcelain! Deda does not wanna hear the word hospital so we keep telling Deda we’re just gonna hang out in London. He was high but sober type so he was jokes. Kept getting into this pattern of remembering the past and getting emotional about it. As for Deda’s scummy buddy. We’ll call him SKUMBAG! Well everytime we made some progress to get Deda in the car Skumbag would drop a comment in ‘their language’ and I would hear him use the word hospital in there so we had to go in circles for a while.

Finally we get all the main documents and components in the car and more circles. Neighbours talk about evicting Deda coz he stanks the place up and all. Finally Sid loses it… I was hoping for this coz we need that emotion to get Deda in the car. Then Skumbag has the nerve to come in the car with us and say hospital again before he leaves. This is where Deda would say in the sweetest way… I’ll do a runner.

Another hour drive back. I figure out Sid and Deda’s pattern and mostly it was past stuff which got Deda in a funk so I keep distracting him with his interests… lol it would still end up in the past but not the lachrymose bits. Dude was in the army, likes hunting, guns, motorbikes etc I’m like I love those too especially guns! BTW the car was reeking of alcohol now so I didn’t try to look back too much while talking lol. Oh and Deda kept using this one phrase that cracked me the hell up. ‘Not at the present moment, in time’.

We get to Harrow and get some food. It’s like 1 or 2 am now. I give dude his food and he’s like I’m not hungry ‘at the present moment in time’. Loving it! Finish eating and make our plan. Remember all this time he kept mentioning no hospital coz they’ll lock him up. We drive in the hospital, I keep talking to him so he dun’t notice. We get out and then it hits him. Drama, drama and now he’s done his so called runner which was even more entertaining… I mean picture a drunk dude walking away like he killed someone by mistake and even funnier is he see’s the cars passing by on the right but instead takes a left into the road that leads to different wings of the hospital. Classic.

So… coz he wont hungry then I still had his kebab in my hand. (Sounds dodgy) So now I’m feeling like a villain that’s following him oh so casually with a smile and letting out laughs now and then. Dudes still going round in hospitals so I thought I’d play with him, hide behind a car so when he looks back he dun’t see me and slows down his ‘walk’. Then just stand in sight but at a distance like he’s my prey. Every time he went out of sight I’d just catch up but now my tummy is acting up. Through out all this he’d keep telling me not to bother myself and I should let him do his thing, he’ll be fine. I’m like I still have your food man, you aint getting rid of me till you eat. While this was going on Sid was inside getting security and ways to check him in. So we’re back at the entrance now, full circle, and I’m rolling Deda a ciggy, security is giving him a talk. Security is like we can’t lock you up here, just a few tests and then you’re free. If you resist and police are called then you’ll be locked up.

More going in circles and another ‘runner’. This time in the right direction. Now I was getting tired of cat and mouse so I used some emotional blackmail… he was getting far ahead and my tummy was killing so I just stooped like I’m gonna throw up or give birth and Deda stood there looking for a while then came all the way back to see if I was ok. I managed to stall him while Sid got the car and figured other ways to keep him in the area codes. I stalled with my tummy but it wont working so I’m like yo stick around with me coz those thugs are coming. He stuck around while some late-nighters passed us. But he started walking again. Only, if he wanted trains he took the wrong turn.

By now Sid told me cops were on their way so I’m like ok man you want the trains, see this sign? It say’s they’re that way. Lets go. He’s like he’s going alone. I remind him he’s not eaten. This was so close coz we were about to walk under the bridge and in that time I already saw the cop car and gestured that the action was where I’m at but they insisted on going to the hospital first. Anyway the make it on time and Deda himself is like now I can’t do a runner coz they’ll chase me. They make him check in, I catch some zzzz’s in the waiting room. I’m called in. Dudes doing fine, flirting away with the Pinay nurse and all. Sid drops me home. I’m like wake me up if there’s issues. Sid drops Deda back home.