BRATISLAVA STAG WEEKEND 29th June 2007
(If you’re on Facebook pics are http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=3196&id=500304440&op=18)

Friday – Back to Bob’s. Neel Malde picks us for Stansted. Bratislava!!! We’re here!!! We’d fallen asleep right… the landing was so bad the plane bounced. Woke me the hell up. Freaked out so bad I jumped forward and hugged the seat in front. Few minutes later couldn’t stop laughing coz if I got freaked by the bouncy landing imagine the guy in front of me. He not only felt the bounce but a jerk from behind and hints of my hug from the side. Eva’s our guide. We get rules like not to piss in the fountain, only use the toilet to take a crap, don’t try to enter other rooms through windows or throw furniture out of the hotel window. Apparently it’s happened a lot and the Brits are to blame for it. Glad we went a day early to check out things. Like I said once the animals come its gonna be party non-stop. Attention guys… the place is filled… I mean crammed with hot women. The one time you will wish you were cockeyed lol. Roam around and realize it’s got a Kenya feel to it too. Most of the places are walking distance. Eva takes us to try some Slovak food… like soup served in scooped out bread. Wicked! Buy shades. Eva takes us to some spa for massages but its closed so drink and chill at Aupark. Oh man I’ve never seen a tree like that before. And these other piney ones with acorns… look cuddly but poke bad. Fish finds his rock climbing area at Aupark, Bob’s got his booze, Akshay’s mac-ing with Eva, Neel Malde is trill. Oh and I’ve got views of all these cute-kickable-looking-kids. Fish and Bob stay back, rest head for hotel to catch some sleep. Then Bob and Fish come to my room and keep me awake. Fish knocked out but Bob’s snoring and tossing around!!!! Yo but the sleep was amazing coz during the day it was hot and sunny, when we get to the hotel it poured down. HEAVY STYLES!!! Just like Madrid forgot my belt so use telephone cord. Dinner at this outside place which has furry tiger print shawls and the sweetest girl there. She wont as fly as the rest but so damn cute. Even the way she got frustrated trying to speak English. Bob ordered shark steak. Lil pub-crawl before Moulin Rouge (strip club). 3rd time round I don’t feel dodgy any more… but still not paying for no dance. We’ll chat and then they’re like I wanna dance for you. I’ll be like no point if you gonna bring out the animal in me and my animal cant jump on you so why don’t I dance for you! Go to a club with a stage. Bushy and Fish join us. Once I got on that stage I didn’t leave till we left. My night was fulfilled by the stage… Bobs was fulfilled by chasing girl around the table… so I’m told hehehe. Observation: Bob acts difficult under the influence… we still love you… you knob!

Saturday – The animals have arrived. Buy more shades. Paintball. Segi (The Stag) has to do a chicken run where we all shoot at him. Ouch. Amazing BBQ food after that. Hmmmm. Segi/Stegi gets wedgies! MEAN STYLES!!! I hit a strike 3 with my loose mouth so get a much deserved punishment. Roam with soda soaked pants and sticky buns. After that we went somewhere else… wow times 3 + 4. I’d get married just for that bit in my stag. Back to the hotel. Drinks. Strike 4 which depresses the hell out of me. To make me feel better get a rose for that extra cute waitress. Her names Yena/Yana. Note: Meeting lots of Yanas. I lead all the boys that way just for to give the flower claiming that’s the way coz Fish and Shuli decided to play chase and Fish had my map. Hehehe finally get a map right. We’re all scratching our heads and I ask this girl could you please tell us where this place is point on the map. She points at a sign next to me… she’s like you’re right here. Lol the door was right behind us. (Censored things). Gaaaad dayum!!! Eva and V join us. Head to another club with helium balloons and heart cookies and free Kit Kat Chunkys all over the place. Eva gets me a heart cookie… how sweet. Some of the boys go elsewhere. Doc was on fire with the rhymes man. Yo then we took some really funny videos of Doc and I doing Patel Rap and the Kenyan National Anthem on helium. Difficult again. Join the boys. Beata has issues, I feel the issues, Fish dunt let me feel the issues lol. Split. Jadu is already funny… on booze he’s too funny. Dude had the funniest hiccups. Get brekkie. Rest of the boys wait for brekkie at the hotel. Champagne breakfast for them. Oh yeah we were staying at the Radisson Carlton ****. Didn’t get to use the gym here either.

Sunday – The ride was hot, no windows and soooooo slow. Bobsled. And we’re free to do what we want till 7. Thought we’d hook Segi up with one last treat but it wont happening. See Yena, just talking to her I went all shy. Eat and exchange stories with Gabby and this American dude about drunken incidents where guys end up in hospital and still wanna party or fall off so many floors and still be ok. Yena one last time. Walking around we see so many cute kids right… got some vids and pics of a baby girl just walking up to a boy and chatting away for so long. Everyone stopped around just to ooohh and aaahh. It really was heart tickling. Anyway so hang. What’s this Doc’s going somewhere… to watch the huge chess on the floor thing. Hmmmm sounds like my kinda thing. Watch the chess match, help kids put pieces back. Watch the music thing. The parade is the place to be lol. And end up in UFO. It was so romantic I was joking with Doc to hold hands hahahaha… dude looked at me like ‘KHASKI GAI!!!!’ A tower with a restaurant on top and the view is amazing. So good that when Doc went to the loo there’s just glass around so someone squeezed out some chocolate cable while having the best view lol. Return to the parade for some more culture. The music thing was folk and now they have dancers in their outfits and all. Yay. Join the animals hahaha. Eva comes to bid us adieu. Airport. Flight. Fish takes vids of Akshay going on non-stop and Shamik just nodding away lol. Home! Big up Shuli for the bombest time in the bombest place. Note: Enough partying for Mathe’s month!

Monday – Miss work. Police warn me… seems like there have been LOTS of complaints about biking on the path. Cancel gym membership.

Tuesday – Still not recovered. New Korean landlady is kinda crazy. I wanted the small room, she gave it away. At some point we were discussing payment and I miscalculated… she’s like ‘noooo, I’ll kill you’. Then starts laughing. Worried hmmm. Make 2 bus trips (that’s 8 busses total so caught up on enough reading) with backpacks to move the small bits. Second trip she gives me Satsuma. Elated hmmm.

Wednesday – Missing Bratislava! One more backpack load. Meet Akshay. KFC fries suck! Kaajal. Watch Earthlings on Google video. Made my heart bleed.

Bratislava Milieu Yem Jah (Spelling) Means I love you.