NOTICE!!
This double blog may get lewd and licentious. Just remember that it was not all that went on all the time. Note: I had to fight a loooooooot of demons that I didn’t even realize I had or did not wanna face and now that I’ve faced em… I’d rather leave them where they are. I’ve also tried to mention the least about the course as it’s something you gotta do and get your own take on so if you wanna know more go to http://www.dhamma.org/en/alphalist.shtml and find one happening in your area codes.

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MY JOURNAL (18th Dec – 31st Dec)
18/12/08 Thursday – Watch Illuminati… more conspiracy stuff. You know secret symbolic language of Free Masons, New World Order and shlack. The exorcism was freaky. I’m taken to see my work places new office/warehouse. And I’m like shyat! It’s gonna be harder to resign now but…

19/12/08 Friday – … I resign. It’s not you it’s me, you’re making changes, I gotta step my game up too but I’ll stay with you till you fully move to the new place. YES Plus reunion dinner at Ping Pong and Rakhi and Sandy’s birthday celebrations. Note: Someone saves someone’s life from my questions lol. Anyway I had a feeling I’d have to let it go before making more lies.

20/12/08 Saturday – Link with Dimple at Liverpool Street. That veggie pastry thing was amazing. Take the train to Norfolk. Now I was sleeping away but had dreams of someone shouting and a baby crying. Wake up and there’s a kid behind me! And Dimps is on the phone handling her bid’ness. At one point she’s giving her credit card details, now I got the window seat, she’s on the isle seat and I glance to confirm what I’m hearing and the guy opposite the isle does the same… lol she looks at him, then at me and rolls her eyes like silently saying ‘things I have to do’. Entertainment I tells you. Get to Hilltop Outdoor Centre, check in and shlack. Meet the guys. Women were taken elsewhere so I was concerned for a bit coz I need my dose of gyne plus only guys means something I’ll get to in a bit. Anyway so exchange stories with folks that have done this before. One was that this guy went cuckoo and by the end of it police and ambulance were there trying to get a naked guy to stop hugging a tree. All the while everyone else had so observe silence. Oh yeah, bump into another Paras. Same name, same school, same place and coz we homies we could not be roomies. Oh and the Teacher called me in coz I asked for a chair in case my knee acts up but we negotiated and if it got too bad then I’ll get it. Note: Teach looked like Dhalsim from Street Fighter and every time he’d summon the assistant teach it looked like he was about to do a ‘yoga fire’ or ‘yoga flame’. Silence started this night.

21/12/08 Sunday – Meditation goes good, trancing properly so feeling good about myself.

22/12/08 Monday – Same again, just one little change. Lovely dreams etc. Observation: In the discourse audio and vids the guru/Goenka chants in a really funny way and he stretches the ends to sound like a cow mixed with a frog. The manliness is at its best now. If you had an orifice that could make any sound… by god it did! Farts, coughs, sneezes, phlegm, sniffs, tummy rumbles… hell at one point I could have sworn I heard eyes blinking! So yeah, we had the ‘no holes barred’ Macho Manly Natural Sounds Orchestra.

23/12/08 Tuesday – Same again and another little change. More dreams. Only I’m starting to get horny! I mean my ‘morning glory’ has never felt this good and sensitive. I mean I like sleeping on my belly but my boner kebab is so sensitive I have to sleep on my back. I mean my little patriot is saluting/hailing me like the Nazi warlord himself! I mean if my pubes had dreadlocks it’d be like Jah Rastafari! I an I feeling the most high! I mean if I could get my crotch a superhero costume it’d looks like Superman flying! I think you get me. Okay, coz of my daily meditation practice I going into trances so fast but the evening instructions were not to do that. My bad for thinking I knew it all. ;o) One major change this time and it’s not too bad.

24/12/08 Wednesday – But now I’m not trancing and my thoughts are taking me everywhere. One side there’s trance the other side there’s thoughts and my constant awareness is the rope. Mental freaking funambulism and I keep falling. Mostly sex or violence. I mean I was Street Fighter, Ninja Gaiden, Hulk and Kill Bill all in one. Oh and lets not forget Saw. I definitely had a few moments of ‘gore’ violence in my mental movies. But the sex bit is getting crazy. I’m making all kinda of plans in my head about my New Year celebration. I’m playing ‘who gets to play house with Paras’. I was beating myself up coz the process we had to do seemed so easy but it was not, it was meant to cook up all sorts of thoughts. So hard day… in many ways if you know what I mean hehehe. Another process is introduced and I tell the assistant teach that I’m gonna need that chair. He’s like talk to the teach after the knowledge. And the knowledge touched on the pain issue and how the 4 elements are connected… wow! I’m like I’ll try that out and the pain vanished! Note: Paras is very impressed. Observation: Guy in front of my looks like a midget Stiffler. Guy next to me looks like Captain Haddock from Tin Tin, which makes me think of my bro saying ‘blistering barnacles!’. And another guy reminded me of this seduction guru. Note: Everything apart from my Patriot has atrophied. My stretches barely pass my knees.

25/12/08 Thursday – Sex and violent thoughts are going out of hand, it was so crazy for the first time every in my life I nutted in my dream and it was so vivid! And for some reason my and my tranny friend were aiming at the same statue… and don’t even get my started on to texture of my baby batter. I actually had an imaginary orgasm, usually the scene is cut right before the point of no return. I had to check my pants in the morning to see if that hand washing detergent was needed. One more little change. Even 5 seconds into the meditation and my monkey mind is grabbing and swinging on all branches of thoughts. At one point I was like maybe I can astral travel to where the womens are and practice my own kind of breathing techniques. Don’t judge me! Wicked knowledge.

26/12/08 Friday – Bad day man. My pride made it worse coz I like to think I’m pretty advanced ‘on the path’. Anyway usual stuff. Daydreams were getting weird too. One with Triad which I wont get into and another where I’m telling cousin screw it I’ll bring the cheeba you bring the KFC bucket or chicken skins.

27/12/08 Saturday – WTF kinda lunch was that? Note: All food was excellent and even today’s lunch but still WTF was that? In one of the meditation sessions I ended up in trance and went of balance and hit my head on the cupboard, dude behind me noticed and nearly shat himself. While I was there thinking someone hit me with a two-by-four. Note: The site says 20 something acres of forest and shlack but poor walkers realized they could only walking in circles in the parking area. Also the place is like a place for team building so there was shooting, abseiling, walking climbing, etc.

28/12/08 Sunday – Forgot my earplugs but was lucky enough not to have midnight motors for roomies. But tonight it was funny coz one guy did snore and the dude in the bunk above him would usually hit or move the bed and it’d stop. This time it was getting much and hitting the bed only made it worse. I usually click my fingers if its too much but I didn’t even have the energy so it looked like I was rolling invisible cigarettes. Sleeps getting hard as it is with all the thoughts. Top bunk dude loses it and clangs the metal bit. I have a lil chortle and try to get some sleep.

29/12/08 Monday – It’s starting to drag now. And the closer we get the closer we can see that ‘are we there yet’ tension. Hell my roomie had to be told to stop walking so much. You could tell his sexual thoughts were getting to him worse than others. I mean a bunch of guys walking around with sexual or violent thoughts man… shit was thick man! We were killing each other with our eyes if we did make eye contact. Guys like myself were laughing out of madness. Knowledge was too good! Every night the knowledge addressed the same issues we had that day. Of course as we got closer to the breaking of silence the one tension eased and another one of ‘when does this sh*t end!’ started.

30/12/08 Tuesday – Break the silence and some of us didn’t know what to do. I realized lot of us can’t speak well coz our vocals not been worked out in a while. But first thing I wanted to know is if most were thinking the same thing coz I was just wanna be the little above average pervert. This course was making me feel like I did a Masters in Perversions and I was training for a PhD. Side note: Kanye West says PhD stands for Pretty Huge Dick. Thought I’d throw that one in as a freebie since this mails really getting into the horny things. But yeah, once I popped that question it was opening Pandora’s Box or should I say Man-doras Cock… yeah that one was lame. Most of us, especially the newbies were on that wavelength! And coz of the silence our minds were making all kinds of castles in the sky. ‘Satay-ing’ all the exes and potential exes. Since we were near the shore there was talk of a nudist beach, but in that cold it’s just gonna be talk. Over to debates about religion, drugs and everyone’s life changing stories etc. OH and I finally got great symbolism for Drugs vs. The Path on Divinity from Vishal. Picture a wall between you and divinity and drugs is like jumping high enough just to get a glimpse of The Light while following the path is like having a ladder to get up the wall. Also loved how Goenka talked about the seeds and once it’s a tree you don’t have to maintain it, you just get the fruit automatically. In fact the knowledge completed so many broken links that we all already have a clue about kinda thing. Still gotta wake up at 4 tomorrow so try to sleep early.

31/12/08 Wednesday – Could not sleep and when I did get some sleep I had a bad dream that kept me up for the rest of the night. I was just waiting for the gong to go off. It goes of and I try to jump in the shower but remember that roomie that was trying to walk the sex off? He was in his boxers in there, apparently just ‘hanging out’. Funny stuff man. Last process and shlack, help with the packing and boy were we glad that was the last time we hear that gong. Exchange stories with Dimps, cigarettes, etc. Lots of us on the train back to London. Eva gives me music reading lessons. Till we both feel drained and try to catch some Zzzzs. I’m starting to feel ill. Get home… aint no way I’m going out so its ill in bed, online movie marathon and the Amarula Neha got me. For you to try: Get in bed and finish a bottle of your favorite spirit and then after an hour just step out of bed.

THE COURSE TIMETABLE
4:00 am – Morning wake-up bell
4:30-6:30 am – Meditate in the hall or in your room
6:30-8:00 am – Breakfast break
8:00-9:00 am – Group meditation in the hall
9:00-11:00 am – Meditate in the hall or in your room according to the teacher’s instructions
11:00-12:00 noon – Lunch break
12noon-1:00 pm – Rest and interviews with the teacher
1:00-2:30 pm – Meditate in the hall or in your room
2:30-3:30 pm – Group meditation in the hall
3:30-5:00 pm – Meditate in the hall or in your own room according to the teacher’s instructions
5:00-6:00 pm – Tea break
6:00-7:00 pm – Group meditation in the hall
7:00-8:15 pm – Teacher’s Discourse in the hall
8:15-9:00 pm – Group meditation in the hall
9:00-9:30 pm – Question time in the hall
9:30 pm – Retire to your own room–Lights out

Hi 2009

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