The Other Side of Anger – NPR (Full short audio series)

Bonus – How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger
Bonus – Disciplining Kids Without Yelling: Readers Tell Us Their Tricks
Bonus – Can Inuit Moms Help Me Tame My 3-Year-Old’s Anger?
Tips: Go into grandma mode and ask yourself what grandma would do or someone you look up to as a good parent. Learn to give the look, remember when you knew what was up just from the look? Get them to work like when they break a vase you can ask them to bring a broom and while cleaning ask if it’s something that can be repaired. Make imaginary characters to get them to wear shoes and ask if ‘Woofie can try putting on the shoes’. Tell stories and make it into a fantasy AFTER they’ve calmed down.

Notes: (I didn’t know where else to put these notes so this post felt appropriate).
– Osho: If somebody creates anger in you. Gurdjieff’s father told him to wait 24 hours before doing anything. If someone says something that makes him angry, he should wait 24 hours to think about it and decide if the information is worth any value or attention. (Sri Sri Ravi Shankar says it takes 2.5 days for your emotions to change or that they don’t last more than 2.5 days.)
– Sadhguru: Bless anyone who makes you angry, this should be an automatic reflex because it shows you what you need to work on. Take 100% responsibility to create a peaceful surrounding, mind, life, etc. You create the atmosphere you want and don’t let others words or behaviours decide what happens within you. It is scientifically proven that you create poisons in you when you get angry. If people are behaving bad around you, stop and have a look at what is wrong with you. Why are you attracting this?
– Epictetus – ‘Any person capable of angering you becomes your master; he can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him.’
– Winston Churchill – “A man is about as big as the things that make him angry.”

Summary: Basically they just give youth someone to talk to and redirect their anger.

Summary: Other cultures have many more versions of anger like regretful anger with the Chinese or so many more for Indians. So categorise and box your anger as English people, like their language, don’t have that much diversity and versatility. Break it down and name it and use emotional granularity (precisely labelling your emotions).

Summary: If you’re often angry or irritable, you may be depressed. This might mean they may also have another personality disorder. Patients treated with antidepressants would see a drop in anger for these patients.

Summary: Just like how you automatically smile when someone smiles at you, anger can do the same. You can use humour like Jimmy Kimmel does with Mean Tweets and make fun of it or see the lighter side of things. Use an act of kindness like Patton Oswald did helping someone with their medical when they were trolling him. Anger leads to more anger so stop it with an act of kindness.

Summary: Someone you love may be in a crisis or pain. Schools have found that suspension is not the answer and more to give them tools to understand and cope. Look for early warning signs and if there is any ‘leakage’ of violent fantasies. Access to the internet and exposure to people talking about this often makes it easier to visualise and manifest. Give them a healthy channel to let it out.

Summary: Expressing anger can reduce the stress hormone but done in the right way otherwise it fuels it more. All animals fight but they could be play fighting, they could not have any emotions while fighting over food.

Summary: A fictional character that suffers the same as the prisoner becomes his salvation. A good example of how finding the right thing to chew on can be a salvation. And this story was tapped by his friend in the next cell as they were not allowed to talk. Over 800 pages. See also Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl (with Summaries)

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How to Manage Your Anger with a Tracker – Understand Your Triggers, Patterns and Solutions

Summary: MLK decided to communicate with love even though he would feel the anger rising. He believed in the power of redemptive love. His reply in the advice column was to channel the destructive patterning in the a constructive channel.

Summary: (Paras note: no real takeaway). One guy started blowing a whistle and shouting ‘stop killing us’ which became a chant for the gay crowd.

Summary: History of the Angry Black American Woman. The biggest superheroes have been the angry black women who took responsibility of their situation and found says to thrive. Rage can be just the starting point.

Summary: Mo Amer talks about his anger from the struggles of being a Palestinian refugee. Some of his jokes come from empathy and sympathy. (Paras note: You have to watch his specials and his series to understand how well he’s converted anger to humour, money, fame and more.)

Summary: The Inuit did the opposite of what we’d do. They waited for a calm peaceful moment when a child acted out and they put on a play or drama of reenacting what happened and in a playful fun tone they’d provoke the child to hit them again. If the child hits, the parent goes ‘owwww, that hurts’. Then asked the child a thought provoking questions like ‘don’t you like me?’. They get to practice controlling their anger. It’s harder to do it in the moment. So wait when the kid is calm and then go over the scenario again and remember to keep it fun and playful.