How To Control Your Anger – Seneca Stoicism

Summary:

1. Recognise that anger is destructive. There is no good degree of anger but it doesn’t mean you have to be passive in the face of injustice.
   a) It makes you a slave.
   b) It cannot be slowed down.
   c) It is contagious.
   Aim to attain tranquillity, a state of peace and quiet.
2. Recognise your triggers and learn to control them. Stop anticipating things that trigger you. Use my anger tracker at the end of this post to keep track of your triggers and reactions.
3. JUST WAIT! (The biggest one in all the anger information I’ve gone through so far.) Remove yourself from the situation. Write an angry email and save it for a few days/weeks. (Paras note: I wait 6 months before taking action on the big things and by then the angry email turns into a previsioned weapon/solution). Things to try – reading, meditating, exercise. According to the American Psychologic Association, deep breathing is the fastest tool to reduce the intensity.
4. Use art and music to calm the mind. Expressive theory can also include hitting a pillow. This song is known as the most relaxing song and is studied to be more relaxing than massage -> Weightless by Marconi Union
5. See yourself as an offender. Put yourself in the other persons shoes and you are the problem, do you have the ability to see things different? When have you acted just like them?
6. Heal rather than punish. Vengeance takes way more time an energy while mild resentment is easier to deal with. We always feel anger longer than we feel hurt. Healing is more efficient and makes you stronger than punishing.
7. Choose your friends wisely. The people you associate with will influence your habits. Find people who bring more joy instead of misery. Don’t try to seek out information or gossip.
8. Don’t seek reasons to be angry. (A big one in our time of people triggered by people they don’t even know, through their screens). Practice negative visualisation. What is the worst that can happen, mentally keep your calm prepared if it were to happen. Seek reasons to be calm.
9. Use self-deprecating humour. Ignore the bad behaviour or turn it into an insult on yourself, that way you take the power by stopping it take root in your psyche. By laughing it off you’re telling them and yourself that you don’t take it seriously.
10. Practice self-reflection. Use an anger journal. (Paras note: See my anger tracker at the end of this post.)
    a) What happened/What was the trigger. This could also include what else was going on in your life that your shield was low.
    b) What did you think/How did you react.
    c) On a scale, how intense was your reaction.
    d) What could you do to mitigate it next time or what solutions can you put in place for repeating instances?

“All our senses should be trained to acquire strength. They are by nature capable of endurance, provided that the mind, which should be called daily to account for itself, does not persist in undermining them” Seneca

Get your copy of the anger tracker here

How to Manage Your Anger with a Tracker – Understand Your Triggers, Patterns and Solutions